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Yeah, but does this ever work? I'm under the assumption that you need to first have some previous encounters with a girl before she'd be willing to go out with you i.e. in the same class, organization, etc. in order to build trust.
You can't just ask out a stranger girl...if only it were that easy. Unfortunately all the organizations in my area bore me, I'd much rather pursue my interests than be fake and join something I have little interest in just to meet girls - so here is where I get lost, I never meet girls doing what I do.
You sound extremely negative and boring, I wouldn't wan't to hang out with you after reading your posts.
Get some self confidence, do what you enjoy doing and you'll meet people along the way. Your life is going to suck if you keep sitting around with self pity or complaining that you don't have the opportunities to meet people.
You sound extremely negative and boring, I wouldn't wan't to hang out with you after reading your posts.
Get some self confidence, do what you enjoy doing and you'll meet people along the way. Your life is going to suck if you keep sitting around with self pity or complaining that you don't have the opportunities to meet people.
Nah, I just write the clueless way that I do to provoke the most responses - get as many different perspectives and ideas as possible. I know what I'm doing, and it works, thank you very much!
Besides, I wouldn't want to hang with a burglar anyway.
Last edited by truth to valid; 04-18-2011 at 05:27 PM..
Go to the dang clubs man (I am talking about where all the girls around your age is hanging out and dancing and music)... OMG... I wish I was your age again... I would having one hell of a time... of course, I would need the money but man.... I would be having one HELL OF A TIME... you seem like you need some more self-confidence... drink some alcohol before you get there and some more when you get there, of course have someone drive you too and hang with you...
Clubs suck for meeting girls unless you're as stupid as the average person in society. I mean, really, I want to hang out for 3-4 hours and listen to KESHA and Lady Gaga and Britney Spears?! No, I don't think so. It's miserable listening to that crappy music for even 5 minutes let alone potentially 5 hours (11 p.m. to 4 a.m. in Vegas, for instance). I like hanging out at clubs with friends, I mean it can be ok, but for meeting girls? Not a good way to meet girls at all. And I hate dancing, along with most other straight guys. Unlike most straight guys, however, I am not willing to do it "just because girls like it." I don't dance, it isn't fun, it's a pointless waste of energy.
Bars and clubs are not a good way to meet girls for most guys. Even guys I know who are players don't have much success that way, to be honest.
Clubs suck for meeting girls unless you're as stupid as the average person in society. I mean, really, I want to hang out for 3-4 hours and listen to KESHA and Lady Gaga and Britney Spears?! No, I don't think so. It's miserable listening to that crappy music for even 5 minutes let alone potentially 5 hours (11 p.m. to 4 a.m. in Vegas, for instance). I like hanging out at clubs with friends, I mean it can be ok, but for meeting girls? Not a good way to meet girls at all. And I hate dancing, along with most other straight guys. Unlike most straight guys, however, I am not willing to do it "just because girls like it." I don't dance, it isn't fun, it's a pointless waste of energy.
Bars and clubs are not a good way to meet girls for most guys. Even guys I know who are players don't have much success that way, to be honest.
Amen man. I'd rather spend my time in a hole in the wall, quiet neighborhoodish bar. Nothing beats that scene-regular customers, real people, great conversation, good local music. I hate clubs with a PASSION. Fake as plastic.
Yeah, but does this ever work? I'm under the assumption that you need to first have some previous encounters with a girl before she'd be willing to go out with you i.e. in the same class, organization, etc. in order to build trust.
You can't just ask out a stranger girl...if only it were that easy. Unfortunately all the organizations in my area bore me, I'd much rather pursue my interests than be fake and join something I have little interest in just to meet girls - so here is where I get lost, I never meet girls doing what I do.
-You could have friends introduce you.
-You could get involved in some kind of activity, and slowly meet people.
-You could volunteer.
There seems to be an assumption on the internet that a girl won't go out with you after you get to know her. There's also an assumption on the net among guys who have basically given up, that girls *never* initiate interest, show interest, show interest in wanting to hang out, etc.
If guys reciprocated the slightest bit of interest girls show them when they go out, they would't be in such a shell.
I think if you go deeper, you'll start getting real answers. "But I don't have any friends". "Well, why not?" Well, I don't know.
Do you want friends? Maybe not. Nothing wrong with that. But then it's not really an attraction problem.
Or, I can't go to that place. Why not? I don't have a car? Why not?
This depends on where you live. If I was in a small town, then ok. But if you live in a big city, there really aren't many excuses for not meeting a girl. Either A). You're almost housebound 24/7. B). You have 0 social skills. C. You just don't want a girlfriend. Which is fine. But you have to start getting clear.
Plus, 20, 23 is extremely young. I think many guys think they should have the experience of a 32 year old at 21 or 22. They put too much pressure on themselves.
You may want to drop your standards too. It seems from your first post that you had met a couple before that were unsatisfactory in some way or another. This seems to be a common occurrence with virgins (girls included). Once they get over that hump, they're much more realistic in expectations and what not.
I also agree with the above posters that you've got to just go out and meet people. I'm with you in that there's times that I feel antisocial, and I'd rather turn off my phone and watch a 30 rock marathon. But I'd suggest trying places like coffee shops, grocery stores, bookstores etc. You can just drop a conversation starter by asking what they're reading / drinking / buying for lunch. Ask an innocent question (and don't come off creepy), and most will give you the time of day.
If that seems too daunting, maybe try it with the staff first until you're comfortable (since they really have no choice but to respond, haha!) and then try it on a cute girl.
If you have hobbies, you may want to apply it somehow to the conversation to demonstrate your interest / expertise. For example, I used to work as a barista, so I have a working knowledge of coffee.. pretty helpful if you see someone pondering deeply at the coffee menu.
If you're desperate, you can try doing social mixers / speed dating events, but I think they tend to enhance any shortcoming you have (real or perceived). You may go from 'shy' to 'terrified' in an unfamiliar situation like that.
Seven pages of replies, and you haven't yet mentioned what your interests and hobbies are that precludes you from meeting women your age. If you explained a little further, people would be able to give better feedback.
Anyhow, I didn't want to flood the board with a bunch of suggestions that may or may not be applicable, but I'm sure you get the gist of what I'm talking about. Good luck!
Last edited by lostfan13; 04-19-2011 at 08:33 AM..
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