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Hans - you don't make me uncomfortable. Your whole stud/provider thing that you keep bringing up to me may be your interpretation of the world as you see it - but makes no sense to me. Just as the madonna/***** thing makes no sense to me either. Real people don't fit into boxes like that.
OK, I edited "uncomfortable" out of my post (since I don't know if anyone was or not -- actually, it's just a joke, but you inspired me to improve my wording).
As I've said before, there are no boxes. We just use language to describe what's happening. If you can think of a better wording, feel free to suggest.
There are several people who have expressed their agreement with my way of describing the situation. If you think what we're seeing and experiencing isn't actually happening, you're entitled to that opinion, but you should question that opinion.
My suggestion for you is that you ask single male friends and acquaintances (especially ones you're not interested in sexually) for their thoughts and opinions on this. I'm certain that some of them will agree with what I and others have shared here, and you will gain some new insights.
Doing the above is more constructive than beating people up for posts that don't sound flowery, or dismissing people's ideas as "making no sense" or using "boxy wording" even while some others report that the idea fits their experiences and observations in real life.
Oops, there goes another one... Wanderlust reports his observation, and Sierra dismisses it as being a misogynistic daydream. I guess I'll be getting that label soon, as she keeps repeating her thesis that there are only bad boys and fake good guys -- and that's not misandry, eh? And if my Provider/Stud thesis is true, reporting on it is misogyny, eh? (Don't answer.)
If you look for something positive and useful in what people have to say, you will probably find it. If you look for something to attack, you will find that as well (and some people are illustrating that as we speak).
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As for Hindsight - you will find that every single one of his posts drips of bitterness and anger towards women. I actually stopped reading most of his posts because they just seem to be tirades about his negativity for the whole female gender. If it was one post - it would be confiding. When it's every single post on multiple threads - they become rants.
This is going off topic, but I just went and briefly read some of his posts. I don't find that "every single one of his posts drips of bitterness and anger towards women", so what you said isn't true. One could interpret the post he made here as being bitter and angry, but I chose to look at the experience he was reporting, and if there is reason to feel bitter and angry, then I see it in a neutral way. It just is what it is. I much prefer someone who honestly relates bitterness and anger over someone who puts on a show of fake confidence, fake warmth, etc.
In any case, his post was reasonable and warranted in the context of the discussion at hand. I saw it as relevant, and responded the way I did to restore some balance.
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Let me ask you this - how is your love life? Have you had good relationships? Do you personally know a lot of women that complain about not finding a decent man? Do you personally complain about not finding a decent woman?
Again, this is going off topic, but I'll bite. I'm strictly an FWB guy, and I prefer FWBs that are actually friends. The result is that some of my closest friends are former FWBs. My partners have tended to be foreign women. I used to consider it a problem that I was not attracting Americans, but I've stopped taking it personally. Mainly, I prefer a woman to be warm, sincere, and secure in who she is, and sometimes I find that. So yes, I have, and have had, good relationships. And no, I don't blame women as a gender (as someone is accusing me of). But there are such things as trends within genders and cultures, and people who've been around for a while have observed them.
As for complaints about not finding decent men/women, it's not so much my issue, I was just responding to the topic as posted. I've offered some ideas and constructive suggestions, people can use them if they like, or not. Now, I don't have much more to share on this topic. I'm happy to share what I can on the topic, but defending my ideas against complaints about "boxy wording" and the like gets tiring.
I was just adding some clarification to your comment about Russian women's "bad boy" fixation. My clarification is consistent with what is widely known about "bad boy" fixations. Your response, on the other hand, adds no clarification relevant to that topic. In fact, your resorting to ad hominem (look it up) shows nothing other than that you feel uncomfortable with my remark. In that case, I suggest you do yourself a favor and look up 'cognitive dissonance', and also 'projection' while you're at it.
Or alternatively, you can just post to assert your superiority (again), and give us the opportunity to bow to your vastly superior experience and expertise, and bask in your all-knowing glow of brilliance.
Just a friendly suggestion.
Sorry your clarification was no clarification. Rather it was just more stereotypical rubbish from someone who has not visited Russia or Ukraine. Therefore, you have no experience to talk on a subject you know nothing of.
Just a friendly suggestion don't talk about stuff you know nothing of.
Correct me if I am wrong but this thread seems to be about one group of people with entitlement issues griping because another group of people also have entitlement issues.
Correct me if I am wrong but this thread seems to be about one group of people with entitlement issues griping because another group of people also have entitlement issues.
I think you're covering the entire sub-forum, rather than just the thread.
There are several people who have expressed their agreement with my way of describing the situation. If you think what we're seeing and experiencing isn't actually happening, you're entitled to that opinion, but you should question that opinion.
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Yeah, but essentially a bunch of self-proclaimed unhappy people.
The ones who take exception to you are, if my memory serves correctly, almost all in happy relationships, like the opposite sex and have good relationships with both genders.
You are the most hilarious person in this whole forum!
But what does that have to do with the issue at hand? I guess you don't understand the way things work.
I am not trying to fight with you or anything. I just feel that you-like others-tend on viewing their own opinion as factual and the most relevant. Its not. You need to have a clear conscious and rational and logical thinking. And that is something that is missing out on most people.
But, why shouldn't her opinion supersede your own and any others as it relates to the culture of women she hails from? I don't know what Hans has to say, and unless he's a woman from Russia I really don't care, but MM as a person presents a clear opportunity for the lot of you to glean something from her culture.
But, why shouldn't her opinion supersede your own and any others as it relates to the culture of women she hails from? I don't know what Hans has to say, and unless he's a woman from Russia I really don't care, but MM as a person presents a clear opportunity for the lot of you to glean something from her culture.
I have a SIL that is Russian and born in Russia, etc. I know enough of their culture to match her opinion on her own people. Its not a good thing to know that much about Russia.
I have a SIL that is Russian and born in Russia, etc. I know enough of their culture to match her opinion on her own people. Its not a good thing to know that much about Russia.
It's a very good thing to know as much as possible about the cultures you intend to form opinions about.
eta: But, you will find as you go along in life, with your plans to become better educated, as well as the boons life experience has to offer, that forming opinions about groups is better left to the undereducated lemmings.
But, why shouldn't her opinion supersede your own and any others as it relates to the culture of women she hails from? I don't know what Hans has to say, and unless he's a woman from Russia I really don't care, but MM as a person presents a clear opportunity for the lot of you to glean something from her culture.
On topic: Women complain because they want a man that other women will want. Its dumb reasoning but its the way women think. A man to them has to be everything they are not, honest, strong, confident, etc. If you are not that anybody will rip you apart but it hurts the most when it is the sex you are interested in. Just as a rule don't care. Go on with your life, its not a woman you are mean to support or her kids. Its the kids that you have with her that you take care off and mold to your liking. Keep a woman far away enough and she will love you. You just have to play the game the right way. Its a stupid game but its the way people choose to live their life.
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