Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am happily married. It will be 11 years this fall. We've got 2 kids.
As others have said, marriage has it's ups and downs. But so does life in general, and I just can't imagine doing it with anyone else but him. He tells me the same thing damn near every day.
I don't know what advice to add. It is true that it can't be all about the sex, because there will be periods where that just goes away altogether. Especially after you have kids. LOL. You have to like the person you marry a lot. Think of it this way... if this person had the exact same personality but was a gender you were not attracted to, would you be friends? Or if they were still the same gender but were completely physically unattractive to you, would you still want to hang around them just for the good times even if you weren't going to date them?
The other thing I would say is marry someone who makes you a better person. Sometimes you can love people but you both bring out the worst in each other. Walk away from those people even if it hurts. The right one will be the one where your better characteristics become enhanced just from being around them. Maybe they even bring out positive stuff in you that you didn't even know was there.
Communication is key. The ability to have open honest conversations, even when it is painful, is crucial. Sometimes you have to work on becoming better at that as a couple, but the basics should be there from the beginning.
And the last thing... expect that it won't always be roses, and marry the person you know who understands that but is committed to working it through with you no matter what happens. You have to know that person will do whatever it takes stay together. You shouldn't have to worry that they wll leave or cheat the first time you hit a rough patch or get into a rut. This is where open, honest but painful conversation comes in when needed. Both of you should have the spirit of continually trying to make the other one's life better.
That's all I can think of. But a good marriage is a wonderful thing. Just living every day with someone who loves, supports and understands you... and makes your life better... and can be the source of some pretty good nookie on a regular basis LOL... that is just awesome.
I do agree that it is refreshing to hear from members who are indeed happily married, but not all people who are against marriage are bitter and lonely. They may have been there and done that and discovered it just isn't for them. Nothing wrong with hearing their stories as well.
I was one of those people who had "been there and done that" and thought I'd never marry again. But when I met my husband he changed everything for me.
This is really the first healthy relationship I've ever been in. It is completely different than any of my past relationships.
It's only been five years but so far I have to say that it's the best thing ever. It's wonderful having someone to go through life with, sharing the good and the bad. We don't always see eye to eye. We fight and we make up. We are actually going through a stressful time right now and are bickering more than usual. We are different in a lot of ways... sometimes those differences compliment each other and other times we are like oil and vinegar. But we both put the health of the marriage above our own independent desires and we have each others back. I've never been happier.
Being married doesn't guarantee that you won't die or even get old alone.
But your odds are a lot better than not marrying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
No. But at least it means that you truly learned how to love.
I'm not so sure that this is always true in times like these where some people go through 3+ marriages. To me, truly loving someone is pushing through those hard times instead of pushing the auto-divorce key.
20 years this past April. I'm even happier in year 20 than I was in year 1.
She is my reason for living, the wind beneath my wings, the butter to my bread, my breath, my soul, my salvation, my hope. She is all things, my better half, my inspiration, and then some. She is the first thing I want to hear in the morning and the last thing I want to hear at night. My sole regret in life is that I didn't meet her sooner and my one hope in life is that I never have to live a minute without her. She has been patient with my worst and helped me be my best. She is wise and kind and creates beauty, love, and grace wherever she goes. I never fail to be astonished that she chose me and I live my days with gratitude that she did.
That's a beautiful thing! I feel the same way about my wife.
Don't get me wrong, there are days when I could just choke the crap out of her, but those moments seldom last long.
I told my wife what makes her special is that I actually like her. See, it's easy for a man to love a woman, but to like one is a lot harder thing to do.....
31 years....no regrets...4 beautiful children....still good friends and confidants.....still curteous.......still as fine looking as ever....even better in bed........for the rest of our lives.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
