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But the friendzone is based on if you're attracted to someone not if you have romantic feelings for that person. Why does it take time to know if you're attracted to someone? Getting to know someone, thereby developing romantic feelings take time but knowing if you're attracted doesn't.
For me it does take time to be attracted in the first place. I can find a girl/woman pretty unattractive at first and when I see her more often it can suddenly switch and then I find great beauty in her.
It's a curse really because it means I will have pretty much ignored her for a while until the moment I start to find her attractive.
Well, you see, honey, the beautiful thing about your experience is that it worked so well for you!! On the other hand, for me? To have to wait 2 years? Whem ive never had a relationship? Ha! Only way that could work is if I weren't attracted to her for 22 months. And if I'm spending that much time with her, I don't see myself NOT becoming attracted for long.
Honey? I'm sorry I can't be your honey!...If someone isn't interested in starting a new relationship and they hook-up with someone else who feels the same way it's a relief just to be friends. (With no pressure for "more.")...If someone is ready for a "serious relationship" they should look for someone who wants the same thing. And someone who feels attracted to them in return...Everyone is not going to like us or feel attracted to us. Sometimes it could take years to find a "mutual attraction" that leads to lasting love.
Honey? I'm sorry I can't be your honey!...If someone isn't interested in starting a new relationship and they hook-up with someone else who feels the same way it's a relief just to be friends. (With no pressure for "more.")...If someone is ready for a "serious relationship" they should look for someone who wants the same thing. And someone who feels attracted to them in return...Everyone is not going to like us or feel attracted to us. Sometimes it could take years to find a "mutual attraction" that leads to lasting love.
Right. But I'm sure that if you weren't physically attracted when you originallu met your guy to you and him would not have gotten together after two years.
Right. But I'm sure that if you weren't physically attracted when you originallu met your guy to you and him would not have gotten together after two years.
No...I wasn't physically attracted to my husband during the early years. He wasn't my usual type. I thought he was a wonderful man! I enjoyed being with him as a friend. He had a great sense of humor and he was smart and very interesting! He was cute and sweet and real and honest!...But I didn't have any secret desires about "going to bed" with him during the early years. And he never "came on to me" either! This was such a relief to me. I had dated too many pushy men and they turned me off! And they didn't really take the time to get to know me or understand me. (like my husband did!)...One day I just "fell in love" with my husband. All of the feelings of love just "hit me!" (Just "out of the blue!") I am the one who reached out and expressed my love first. And my husband seemed happy about it!....From that day forward we were both "in love!" And he asked me to marry him (in a very cute way) a little later...I'm sure that I had a lot of "blocks" and "walls" up for a long time because I was terrified of getting hurt again. He did too but my "walls" were probably "thicker!" I think he was waiting for my "walls to come down" towards the end. But he didn't want to push me into anything when he knew I wasn't ready. And I appreciated how he just let me be me. This is how he won me over! He was a very smart man!
I don't have a "friend zone", I have friends, and then I have people I am romantically interested in, and a friend has never become someone I am romantically interested in.
If some guy put me in a "friend zone" in most of these examples I wouldn't hang around. I would suggest you guys stop doing it too.
For me it does take time to be attracted in the first place. I can find a girl/woman pretty unattractive at first and when I see her more often it can suddenly switch and then I find great beauty in her.
It's a curse really because it means I will have pretty much ignored her for a while until the moment I start to find her attractive.
Like "alpha," "nice guy," etc., these words mean different things to different people. There is no one universal definition. Some chicks toy with men, others are trying to let them down easy. For some women, friends can become lovers; for others, never.
I do think that "Let's just be friends," "I think of you as a friend," and phrases like those to mean she is not romantically or sexually interested in you. I do not think that a woman who says this usually means she really wants to be friends, e.g., watch movies together, play Scene It, go miniature golfing. It usually means, "Let's be friendLY," as in, "I am not attracted to you but don't hate me and trash me to your friends." Men and women both use LJBF in this capacity, such as when breaking up.
My husband was cute! He was charming and "boyish" in a modest and innocent kind of way. He was full of surprises. He was smart and well-rounded. He had tons of interests! And he could "step up to the plate" and be super strong when need be! I felt lucky to be married to him and I miss him so much! It's been 14 months since he died. Sad!
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