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and it's apparent that it makes me VERY unique! I'm 18, a college freshman, and I don't want to share that part of myself with someone until marriage. And yet, I seemed to be "looked down" upon for that...it has definitely made a difference in the number of guys who want to ask me out, and I'm okay with that. But, it's just frustrating to know that I'm in the minority.
Vent over.
I don't doubt at all that you're looked down on. Many people seem to have nasty things to say about folks who choose to wait until marriage. It's a shame more people don't encourage and respect decisions such as yours.
Why people look down on those who choose to wait is an interesting question and hard to answer.
I understand some of the traditional Christian values though. I can see logic in them, but it's hard to explain. People nowadays have lost touch with what I think is human nature and what our emotions point us toward. People try to rationalize their feelings, according to what they're told to believe through rhetoric. You are holding onto your decision despite that. Apparently you understand the value in waiting and really want a true and successful marriage.
I didn't judge him because he's been with 4 girls at the age of 19 (I personally think it's disgusting, but that's not judging...that my opinion). I was judging him because he was a LIAR.
How is sex disgusting? You haven't tried it so don't fricking judge others who make different choices. He lied to you, ok.....
I have a different opinion on sex before marriage.... Sex can be a wonderful expression of lust between two people and a great workout. For a guy it is very much physical at first, but we too can form serious emotional bonds from it. Now sex in a loving relationship is a wonderful and happy expression of the real closeness a couple can feel. It can release all those nice happy endorphines and dopamine that help relieve stresses and pressures of everyday life. The intimacy and closeness of sex with someone you love is unparalleled.
You are only 18 though and if you feel you are not mature enough for sex and wait for that and religious reasons so be it. I wouldn't go marrying somebody though without having things in order like college degree, finances, career....
How is sex disgusting? You haven't tried it so don't fricking judge others who make different choices. He lied to you, ok.....
I have a different opinion on sex before marriage.... Sex can be a wonderful expression of lust between two people and a great workout. For a guy it is very much physical at first, but we too can form serious emotional bonds from it. Now sex in a loving relationship is a wonderful and happy expression of the real closeness a couple can feel. It can release all those nice happy endorphines and dopamine that help relieve stresses and pressures of everyday life. The intimacy and closeness of sex with someone you love is unparalleled.
Sex with someone you love IS unparalleled
However, our young OP is not "in love", she is dating - big difference.
She is allowed to be "disgusted" by a fellow teenager who has already had sex with 4 different partners at such a young age, especially as it is doubtful said teen was "in love" when he had sex with the different girls. Yes, some of us would find that not only disgusting, but distasteful and sad.
Folks commenting on this thread are forgetting that our OP is only 18.
She is doing her best to make good and conscious choices for herself - something she should be commended for and encouraged to continue to do.
Most of us realize that once she falls in love later down the line she may, or may not, adjust her line of thinking on the subject
She is allowed to be "disgusted" by a fellow teenager who has already had sex with 4 different partners at such a young age, especially as it is doubtful said teen was "in love" when he had sex with the different girls. Yes, some of us would find that not only disgusting, but distasteful and sad.
Exactly.
I never said sex was disgusting...EVER. I'm sure it will be wonderful when it happens, WITH the person I plan to spend the rest of my life with.
What I found disgusting was that someone that young already had that many sexual partners. It's slutty, plain and simple.
However, our young OP is not "in love", she is dating - big difference.
She is allowed to be "disgusted" by a fellow teenager who has already had sex with 4 different partners at such a young age, especially as it is doubtful said teen was "in love" when he had sex with the different girls. Yes, some of us would find that not only disgusting, but distasteful and sad.
Folks commenting on this thread are forgetting that our OP is only 18.
She is doing her best to make good and conscious choices for herself - something she should be commended for and encouraged to continue to do.
Most of us realize that once she falls in love later down the line she may, or may not, adjust her line of thinking on the subject
she is perfectly entitled to feel its disgusting- but she shouldnt turn around and say she isnt judging the guy for it
Let me tell you..i have a family member who wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. She got married at 33 years of age to a man who was recently divorced with a kid. She would ask me questions regarding sex (how is it the first time, does it hurt, blah, blah), and she was so sure her wedding night was going to be so wonderful...
We chit chat on the phone here and there, and mostly its about unhappy she is with her sex life, how she feels she and her spouse aren't compatible in the bedroom, and since she doesn't believe in divorce, she will never get to experience what it would be like to be with another.
I know this is just one situation, but I honestly feel sad for her to not get to experience how great sex can be and that she feels "stuck."
Premarital sex isn't always "slutty" or irresponsible if you know how to handle it and be safe. Sex is a great thing!
OP, I commend you, but your attitude may change in a few years as you grow.
and it's apparent that it makes me VERY unique! I'm 18, a college freshman, and I don't want to share that part of myself with someone until marriage. And yet, I seemed to be "looked down" upon for that...it has definitely made a difference in the number of guys who want to ask me out, and I'm okay with that. But, it's just frustrating to know that I'm in the minority.
Vent over.
I would never buy a car without test driving it first.
Maybe. And maybe not. Twelve years of Catholic school here, and all of the girls in my circle of friends said they were going to wait, myself included.
And all of us had sex by the time we were 21.
The path to the confessional is paved with intentions of chastity.
I never said sex was disgusting...EVER. I'm sure it will be wonderful when it happens, WITH the person I plan to spend the rest of my life with.
What I found disgusting was that someone that young already had that many sexual partners. It's slutty, plain and simple.
Well that's not judgmental at all.
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