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I guess I'm all virgined out at the moment with the endless threads about how wonderful it is to be one..yet they all seem so unhappy...
What makes you think they're all unhappy? Not all of them are unhappy and the ones that are unhappy are likely that way for only one of two reasons; they either want to get laid and can't, or they feel so marginalized by such a judgmental society that they've become judgmental as a defense, which is no good either.
I have to admit, the first time I realized how judgmental people can be about one's lack of sexual experiences, I was pretty shocked and didn't understand it at all. I mean, last I heard people were being judged for sleeping around (maybe still are) and I don't agree with that kind of judgment either. I think it's all so ridiculous. I can understand on some level having preferences in a partner, but why all the unnecessary judgment? If it's not your life to live why do you care?
Nobody in my life knows I'm a virgin at present. It's not a huge deal to me, I've always been pretty busy with other things and I don't feel that sex is something I've missed out on much.
But recently the conversation about past relationships came up with a male coworker who is much older than me one day when we were working directly together and yacking (I'm a female) and he was surprised that I'd only had one boyfriend. It was just casual conversation so I don't understand why it was such a big deal.
I used to think I wanted a virgin like myself, but even if my chances were high in finding one, I wouldn't want one now because I feel that if I get to that point with someone, one of us needs to know what the heck we're doing.
But maybe that's just another judgment in itself, I don't know...
Good idea - cos' in the end all the sex is the same...and a varied sexual life with mulitiple partners is not worth it...If I could go back in time and never have had sex with anyone but my first love - My life would be better and I would not have missed a thing.
I didn't judge him because he's been with 4 girls at the age of 19 (I personally think it's disgusting, but that's not judging...that my opinion). I was judging him because he was a LIAR.
I can totally see where that is disgusting. To be only 19 years old and already had sex that many times. If that is true which is questionable. However, if it is it can be surmised then that he doesn't think of sex as having much meaning to it than just getting off.
Oh, and this whole, YOU are judgmental crap. Yeah, more people should be judgmental and use (OH UH) discrimination when choosing partners.
Because if you treat your body as a temple and don't separate it from your mind (and soul for those who believe in such things), then sex is more than just a physical act and virginity is not something to just get rid of. It is an all encompassing act for one who holds it dear and those who do not understand that just won't. That's fine but don't impose your non-belief on someone who holds those silly details dear. It is important for the op that she is with one who shares the same values. Try to be non judgmental and understand.
Do people who wait = the people who marry young, eventually wonder what they missed (and what others are like) and either suppress those feelings permanently or divorce later in life?
The movies make it seem romantic, but going by movies people never consistently eat, use the bathroom, shower, pay bills, etc etc etc....not exactly a place to learn how to properly live your life from.
Marry because you've found the person who makes your life better, and having "this means we can finally have sex" hanging over marriage has too much potential to cloud judgement and throw another factor into the mix. Besides, sexual compatibility exists and a lifetime of being mismatched will later create very real problems.
But recently the conversation about past relationships came up with a male coworker who is much older than me one day when we were working directly together and yacking (I'm a female) and he was surprised that I'd only had one boyfriend. It was just casual conversation so I don't understand why it was such a big deal.
You didn't mention the details of how your coworker responded, but if you're very attractive then most men (and women, for that matter) would probably be surprised that you had had only one boyfriend. Sometimes us guys even try to use this as a subtle compliment/flirt, though I don't think it works very well. (Not saying this is what he was doing)
"What? Someone as pretty as you has only had one boyfriend?! Come on, you're lying to me. You surely have guys constantly asking you out..."
Not the smoothest thing to say, I admit, but I've seen it countless times and have probably even done it myself. And it's understandable. Most attractive girls I've known...heck...most girls I've known PERIOD, were never without a boyfriend for more than a month or two. Even the not-so-attractive ones were always being flirted with and asked out, so they'd basically only be single when they did it intentionally. And that usually wouldn't last long. I was usually completely shocked just to find a girl, any girl, who was even single at all. If I had met one who had only had one boyfriend I probably would have passed out from shock!
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It was just casual conversation so I don't understand why it was such a big deal.
