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OMG- The only 2 times I have been with a virgin it was slow motion and was-ouch, eee, ohh. I went very slow and lots of lube was involved. It was eeh, ok. If you hold it up as some incredible gem you are going to be let down.
Besides, your going to wait another ten years before its absolutely fantastic anyway! I say get it over as soon as you reach adulthood, then practice a lot. The difference between sex at 18 and sex at 35 is like comparing a ride on your Shwinn bike to a space shuttle Launch. Nothing better than a skilled, experienced pair of 35 yo lovers
For the OP, good for you. Your probably represent 5-10% of the population so there are others! If you get something out of it thats all that counts!
LOL. Thanks but no thanks. I want to stay faithful to my beliefs. Thanks for sharing thy story though.
I say good for you. But like the person quoted in the last post said, don't put it on a pedestal or else you might be disappointed. It takes practice and experience to be good, but there is no rule that the experience and practice can't come from the one person you decide to give yourself to. And never forget that a great way to get experience before hand is to get some solo practice in. As a girl, it will help with the "slow motion and...ouch, eee, ohh" and if you already know what you like and what does it for you, you can communicate that to your partner.
More marital problems occur because of issues with sexual relationships with others that occurred prior to marriage than occur because of sexual problems caused by a lack of prior experience. Just ask a marriage counselor. This is perhaps the most lame attempt I have seen to try to argue that sexual promiscuity is better than remaining chaste until marriage. If you think some sexual problem is avoided because one of the spouses had a lot of partners int he past, you are a bit confused, or perhaps just not thinking things through. However with some frequency problems develop due to a bad prior sexual experience, due to lying about prior sexual experience, or due to jealousy, feelings of inadequacy and comparisons (you are not as good as *** was). Is it better to have no one else to compare your spouse to? Absolutely. In fact, there are a large number of people who would prefer to never be compared to past sexual partners.
Do you really want your spouse thinking "Well she is better at X than the others, but Susan was much better at Y" How is that good for a marriage?
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Actually, if you ask most therapists (at least secular therapists) and others within the psychology field and those who are trained (not a class or two), they will tell you that it is not "issues with sexual relationships with others that occurred prior to marriage" that causes the problems. There is a simple word for that and it is called jealousy, no way around that. However, it is the sexual compatibility that does: drive, interest, pleasure (or lack of) given or received... It is usually about compatibility. And then of course, money/finances which accounts for a large percentage of the divorce rate, as well.
My only question for the OP is, would you be willing to marry a man who isn't a virgin?
When I was younger I was very religious, as were most of my friends (male and female). We were all raised to believe that sex before marriage was one of the worst sins you could commit. And yet, biology is often stronger than will power, and by the age of 25 or so I don't think I knew a single person who was still a virgin. Most of us weren't by the time we graduated high school, regardless of how "bad" we thought it was. Not that there's anything wrong with voluntarily remaining a virgin until marriage, it's just that most people can't resist their urges. And that's no surprise, since we're basically just reproduction machines. The point is, in a few years you may find it surprisingly hard to find a man who is also still a virgin, and if you do, what if you're not attracted to him otherwise?
I have nothing but respect and genuine admiration for OP's beliefs. She knows exactly what she wants and needs from a relationship emotionally, and is confident enough to be true to herself despite peer pressure. I say all the more kudos to her!
As to the bolded portion of the post above: FWIW, I am a guy in my early-30s, and am 100% (voluntarily) pre-maritally celibate and virginal...lol so we do exist, you see! For me, full physical intimacy is not gonna happen without a wedding vow taking place first
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 10-29-2011 at 01:46 AM..
Reason: Corrected typo
Did you have the opportunity to have sex while in high school? Have you had an orgasm before? These are important things to think about when making this decision or you will be totally blind-sided when these things happen and will start second-guessing yourself if you don't know all the challenges you'll face and don't have clear, concrete reasons.
If you feel you have all this covered, please explain your reasons now, it'll be a good way to test yourself.
Then really consider this question:
What if I'm in love with and in a long term relationship with a person who I know I will eventually marry?
If you never question yourself, you won't be able to make decisions you're completely sure about and you won't be prepared when others question you.
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Same goes for marriage, who'd marry someone they haven't at least had a test-drive in bed with?
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The answer is simple: for love Love of much more than just her body...total and utter, complete love and devotion of everything about her, body, spirit, and soul. Knowing that you love her enough to lovingly respect and cherish her body, not just for now, but for all eternity, till death do us part. Real, genuine love isn't something that needs to "pass a bedroom test" either (at least in MHO).
I have my doubts. Otherwise the four women he slept with would not have been mentioned at all followed by a "bleh".
tried to rep.
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. I went very slow and lots of lube was involved. It was eeh, ok. If you hold it up as some incredible gem you are going to be let down. 
. The difference between sex at 18 and sex at 35 is like comparing a ride on your Shwinn bike to a space shuttle Launch. Nothing better than a skilled, experienced pair of 35 yo lovers
LOL
