Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As a man I have to admit thats a tough dating bracket to be in.Most men your age are not single.If they are single most have built up some money and try to go after younger women.I don't know what to tell you but I do sympathise as I am in a similar situation.I'm a man in my mid 30s that makes about 17 grand a year.I can forget online dating if I don't lie about my income.Once women find out what I really make they all seem run like their escaping a fire.Oh well I geuss I can try and get a second job or get a better one but to me I shouldn't have too.I will keep asking women out and you have to keep trying too.
OP, if you think life is crappy over 50, it's probably your own fault. If you're not attractive, are overweight, and have a bad personality, of course life over 50 won't be any good. That said, take an honest look at yourself and figure out what needs improvement.
Life kept me really busy since my divorce. That's another story, and not the focus of my post here.
I was busy going to school, earning a living, supporting my kids. I didn't have much time for any social life, especially when I worked nights and weekends. Or when I had to move 3 times in 10 years to stay employed.
In the decade I have been divorced, I have had very few dates. I find it very hard to meet men, so, online dating seemed like a good idea. Bad idea. Lots of gameplayers and marrieds on them. I found that now that I am over 50, no one contacts me. I get told I look young for my age. I don't have man hair. I haven't lost my, ahem, drive.
But no one contacts me because they can't get past the age. I looked at a lot of the profiles of men +/- 10 years of my age. Okay, not to be critical, but I will be critical, because this is the same criteria they use...they look old. And they are rejecting me. Do they really think they are going to get someone who would be their daughter's age to date them? Maybe if they have tons of money, but that is a whole other game, the golddigger.
When I try to contact someone, I get rejected, bounced, because I am not the right age for their parameters.
It pains me to think I might go to my grave not ever really knowing and loving a man, or being loved back. I always thought it was something that would happen in life. I wonder if anyone falls in love anymore, or is it simply lust.
All of this screening, long, scripted profiles...seems to somehow take away from the sheer enjoyment of trying to meet someone.
Someone sees one little thing, and bingo, they move on. Like a kid in a candy store, the ribbon candy comes in about 50 flavors and colors. He just can't make up his mind. And he just can't chose one, because something better just might come along.
I wonder if others feel like I do. I hear that the divorce rate is 50%, but I don't see 50% of the adults from 21 to 99 as singles. Everyone seems to be married. Men say they don't want to be "tied down", "lose their freedom", etc., but how come so many are married? Just to have kids?
There is nothing wrong with me. I don't have a third eye. I am intelligent and a decent person. I am traditional, but I get the feeling that gets interpreted to mean dull or boring, and I don't think I am. I am not trying to brag, this is just my own assessment of me.
Where are the decent people? Please don't say "church" because churches are families, and nothing is colder than being around a lot families when you are single.
Is it a lost cause for anyone over 50?
Certainly not. I know far too many women over 50 that are newly married, or in new relationships, to think such a thing. I can't say what your problem is, but I guarantee that age is not it.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 11-10-2011 at 04:45 AM..
She and I were both trying to help and be supportive.
But like Mikala I see now why you are having the trouble you are having - you are part of your own problem and can't even see it. I wish you the best anyway, sincerely.
My original post was looking for others who were going through the same thing. Some got that and responded thusly.
Others, like Mikala, wanted to dish out criticism and find something wrong with me.
Your response too, you want a fight, and this thread was not about that.
But if you go on a dating site, most have parameters one can check for finding or communicating with others by age.
Some guys specify they want someone 21-40, when they are 55, for example, so no matter how you look or feel, they aren't going to see your picture or find out what you are like.
Certainly not. I know far too many women over 50 that are newly married, or in new relationships, to think such a thing. I can't say what your problem is, but I guarantee that age is not it.
You know a lot of women who are over 50 and are newly married? I have friends, single, and married, who don't know a lot of newly married women over 50.
As a man I have to admit thats a tough dating bracket to be in.Most men your age are not single.If they are single most have built up some money and try to go after younger women.I don't know what to tell you but I do sympathise as I am in a similar situation.I'm a man in my mid 30s that makes about 17 grand a year.I can forget online dating if I don't lie about my income.Once women find out what I really make they all seem run like their escaping a fire.Oh well I geuss I can try and get a second job or get a better one but to me I shouldn't have too.I will keep asking women out and you have to keep trying too.
Thanks, you understood the post and didn't act like "Oprah" then turn on me because I didn't take obvious suggestions.
I guess people can be pretty superficial. I think I am in pretty good shape for my age, I even make a good buck, and that isn't attracting anyone, either. Maybe some are just constantly holding out, thinking someone better is coming along.
I think online is the issue for single women (and maybe men too) 50 and over. Get off the computer and forget about trying to meet men that way. Or alternatively, put up your profile and let it ride and see what happens, but spend no time contacting men first. Let them contact you.
Don't become anyone's email penpal. If a guy you meet online hasn't moved things to a real life get together...even just coffee... by your 4th email, just delete and ignore. You're not there to obtain penpals. Also, don't get into the texting/IMing thing either. Your goal is to meet in person and if someone wants to do that, then great! If not, then bye bye.
In the meantime, don't put any big amount of energy into the online dating thing. Answer emails once a day only and don't hang out on the sites. If someone winks, wink back, but don't write them first. Let them make the move first. That will leave you lots of time and energy to do other things that don't involve being online or on dating sites.
As for attitude, I don't know what to say. I gave up years ago and don't even try anymore. I'm not bitter, I'm just resigned to the way things are. Got bigger fish to fry right now anyway (job search). So I don't know how to advise you on that other than to make sure you are doing something that feels good to you every day. Doesn't matter what it is. As long as something you do gives you some pleasure, then do that. Even if it's just a 15 min walk or petting someone's dog...it's all good.
Yes, I don't spend much time on dating sites anymore. I can't say I have visited them in months. I figured if someone contacts me it would come in my emails.
I go places, do what I want, even go out to eat by myself. I am pretty independent, I don't HAVE to have someone to go places with, but it would be nice.
I agree about the IM'ing, some are just looking for someone to talk to, and that is fine, if they are upfront about it, but it is a big time-waster and a dead end road.
Good luck on your job search!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
