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Personally I wouldn't want to be 50 plus and single these days. Being single is hard enough at that age I would think it's even harder.
I cant tell you the number of married folks ive talked to who've been married for 30+ years and who dont love their spouse , dont enjoy being in the same room with them ... even while reading a book , and who are living anything but the ideal fulfilled married life whereby theyd consider an adulterous affair just for some type of temporary emotional/sexual intimacy . So, it seems to work both ways, yes ? Being Single isnt tough for many people and a great life can be enjoyed ; there are challenges to both singleness and marriage .... in slightly different forms and sometimes in the same form (lonliness) . I would agree, that, it is probably a bit harder for single/divorced women to navigate singleness versus the man...but i have met women who enjoy their single status.
I'm seriously torn about marriage. I'm leaning toward staying single. I was married for 19 years and experienced more loneliness in that marriage than I ever have single. I cherish my freedom right now. Right now. That could change but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
As long as you're happy, thats all that counts, unless marriage is really important to you.
I cant tell you the number of married folks ive talked to who've been married for 30+ years and who dont love their spouse , dont enjoy being in the same room with them ... even while reading a book , and who are living anything but the ideal fulfilled married life whereby theyd consider an adulterous affair just for some type of temporary emotional/sexual intimacy . So, it seems to work both ways, yes ? Being Single isnt tough for many people and a great life can be enjoyed ; there are challenges to both singleness and marriage .... in slightly different forms and sometimes in the same form (lonliness) . I would agree, that, it is probably a bit harder for single/divorced women to navigate singleness versus the man...but i have met women who enjoy their single status.
I can understand that some people hated being married to thier spouse. I don't understand why they didn't just leave if that was the case. I'm 43 & I really liked being married I even like being in a relationship. It's nice to be able to share things with that other person. My mom is 68 & she won't even think about getting married again or dating. She held my stepdad in such high regard that no one else could ever come close. At her age she doesn't see why she should even try because any moment could be her last. I think it's sad to go though life like that. She is also VERY set in her ways & won't change, I'd say that's true for most in her age group.
I can understand that some people hated being married to thier spouse. I don't understand why they didn't just leave if that was the case. I'm 43 & I really liked being married I even like being in a relationship. It's nice to be able to share things with that other person. My mom is 68 & she won't even think about getting married again or dating. She held my stepdad in such high regard that no one else could ever come close. At her age she doesn't see why she should even try because any moment could be her last. I think it's sad to go though life like that. She is also VERY set in her ways & won't change, I'd say that's true for most in her age group.
Your mom is like my elderly mom....still very loyal toward their now missing Husband due to death . It doesnt negate the need for meaningful interaction thru friendships however ...i see my mom needing this more and more as she ages.
The married people ive talked to who have current rotten marriages, dont want to leave for several reasons :
1. Theyve only known marriage for all thier adult years and are afraid what being on their own would be like .
2. They are afraid of their spouses reaction which may result in physical retaliation (a concern of the wife) .
3. They have serious current illnesses whereby they dont have much longer to live in all reality, so, they are more inclind to just live out their shortened life by staying married.
4. They lack the friendships needed for a support group if they did get divorced.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,051,202 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 007.5
Your mom is like my elderly mom....still very loyal toward their now missing Husband due to death . It doesnt negate the need for meaningful interaction thru friendships however ...i see my mom needing this more and more as she ages.
The married people ive talked to who have current rotten marriages, dont want to leave for several reasons :
1. Theyve only known marriage for all thier adult years and are afraid what being on their own would be like .
2. They are afraid of their spouses reaction which may result in physical retaliation (a concern of the wife) .
3. They have serious current illnesses whereby they dont have much longer to live in all reality, so, they are more inclind to just live out their shortened life by staying married.
4. They lack the friendships needed for a support group if they did get divorced.
It must be very difficult for such people.
Not to mention financial reasons--fear of being taken to the cleaners (I've seen both husbands and wives get taken so let's not make it a war of the sexes).
I'm only guessing here. I don't have a personal problem being single but it's not easy being single being young either. Just look at some of the threads on here. I would think it get's harder with age. Again I'm just assuming. I mean not married.
Honestly, I don't think the "misery" threads here on this forum represent the majority of people. At least, they sure don't represent the people that I know and have known. Just my opinion, but I think that people that are emotionally healthy and secure, and not ones to go on and on about how hard life is being single. I think that those people, just by their very nature, DO have a harder time finding companionship. I love being single. I mean I love my guy, but I literally treasure my independence and freedom.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,051,202 times
Reputation: 9419
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
Honestly, I don't think the "misery" threads here on this forum represent the majority of people. At least, they sure don't represent the people that I know and have known. Just my opinion, but I think that people that are emotionally healthy and secure, and not ones to go on and on about how hard life it being single. I love being single. I mean I love my guy, but I literally treasure my independence and freedom.
I agree. I never hear people I know complaining about this stuff--aside from an occasional b**** about the spouse for an isolated incident.
I am done with this thread, because like so many other threads on here, it gets ruined by the jabbers.
There were some good responses from serious folks, but so many use threads like this to attack and take jabs at the poster. They don't know how to discuss things without trying to put someone down.
To the people who posted the good stuff, thank you.:ok:
I'm seriously torn about marriage. I'm leaning toward staying single. I was married for 19 years and experienced more loneliness in that marriage than I ever have single. I cherish my freedom right now. Right now. That could change but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
I was torn for a while...but now I'm pretty much in the not-again camp. I mean, if I was a lot younger, sure...it was definitely on the menu. But now? Eh...I think I'd be fit to be tied if I had to live with someone 24/7 again.
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