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I'd go on a date w you if you were back in the Boston area. I like analytical men and i like attractive Asians just as much as any other attractive men.
I once worked in an office where all of the 3 married women were married to Asian men. They were all well educated beautiful white women. How's that for an anomaly?
Maybe you should focus on women with Masters or above and/or in the medical field? That was the demographics of wives at my old office.
I'd go on a date w you if you were back in the Boston area. I like analytical men and i like attractive Asians just as much as any other attractive men.
I once worked in an office where all of the 3 married women were married to Asian men. They were all well educated beautiful white women. How's that for an anomaly?
Maybe you should focus on women with Masters or above and/or in the medical field? That was the demographics of wives at my old office.
I don't think it's quite as unusual as stereotypes would have us believe. Asian men can be very attractive. Any stigma that was attached to them has been long forgotten, and never existed with Gen-X-ers and Millennials, at least--not around the West Coast, there there's been an Asian presence for over 100 years.
I am now in my early 30s, which is a testament to how long this thread has gone on Just curious, are you Asian? I agree with you, now that I've spent multiple years in both places, I definitely feel like dating is easier in Boston, for me at least. I do still have family and a lot of friends in the Boston area and I visit every year. But I just can't deal the cold winters. Also, housing prices there are ridiculous. There is no way for me to own a house there (as a single person) AND keep up with my car hobby
Have you ever considered the West Coast? I just moved from Orlando to San Francisco about a year ago, and given the population of Asians is significantly higher in Northern California and Seattle, I think you might have better success out this way than in Texas.
Online dating can be hard for any male. I'm a Caucasian who was fascinated with Rudder's data as well. I was in my early 30's and living in a college town when I was first divorced back in 2005. OKC and POF were good for first dates and hookups, but I wanted so much more than the quality of women I was meeting. Part of it was that I was living in Indiana, one of the crappiest states I've ever set foot in. The college town of Bloomington was fine, but not much outside of that was worth anything to an intelligent person. Match.com never really worked for me. Because I lived in a college town, there really wasn't any way I could reasonably date a college girl, because they'd end up leaving town as soon as they finished school. The job market just wouldn't allow it. So, I was stuck with townies or people who lived in Indianapolis, an hour+ north of me. I ended up finding a GF, but she lived in Chicago, 4 hours north of me.
After realizing the the long distance relationship thing wasn't for me, I decided for my career and my personal life that it would be better to move and try a different locale. I ended up with a job in Florida, which was honestly the last place I expected to move. I wanted to move to Chicago or Portland, Oregon, but couldn't find the right job fits there in a time when the economy wasn't very strong. I struggled to meet people in Orlando as well for the same reason I had trouble in Indiana. There just isn't a deep pool of educated people there, since the major industry is travel and tourism, which doesn't require an advanced degree. I went on a couple of dates in my first 9 months of living there, and they were both nutters. I wondered if moving there was a mistake. I'd been on at least 20 dates over time via online dating sites at that point.
Then on a particularly desperate night in early 2010, I looked at OKC and lowered my age limit to 21, just to see what was out there (I was 34 at that point). I sent out a few messages that night and got one back from one of those 21 year olds who was a Senior in college who had never met anyone from an online dating site before. We went out on a first date a few days after Valentine's Day, and we've been married for 3 years now. We have a big age difference, but her parents were around the same age as mine (she was a late child). We moved to SF and both have good jobs and she's made some female friends here who have told her how they'd prefer asian males.
If you think you've had it rough, one of my good friends is an Asian guy, and he found a white woman to marry while living in rural Tennessee. It's not impossible, but I would consider whether Austin is really the place that will maximize your quality of life.
The one thing Rudder's data didn't really delve into was breakouts into Geography to support my claim. I am a data analyst in the banking industry and I can tell you that geography matters. Sweeping generalizations of the US may give a baseline, but more often than not, you can find outliers when digging deeper.
Best wishes to you in your quest to find that right person.
I was recently looking at a Japanese World War II exhibit, which had many recent photos taken of Japanese WWII veterans, along side a photo of them as a young man in their military uniform. I was fascinated by how different people look as we age. In some cases you could hardly see any resemblance at all to their younger self. Yet, I was also impressed by how good-looking they still are in their old age compared to old white guys I know.
Forgive me for expressing this politically incorrect opinion, but in my view, white men always end up looking like Ed McMahon eventually, no matter how handsome they may have been in their youth. But the Asian men were still quite handsome!
I don't think it's quite as unusual as stereotypes would have us believe. Asian men can be very attractive. Any stigma that was attached to them has been long forgotten, and never existed with Gen-X-ers and Millennials, at least--not around the West Coast, there there's been an Asian presence for over 100 years.
Not from what I've seen and experienced in San Diego - but I've heard from acquaintances that Orange County and the Bay area are different...
I'm a millennial and this is definitely not true. There is definitely a clear bias against Asian men from the vast majority of women that I've come into contact with (not as bad as with short men though).
As I said though, it seems like more intelligent and educated women are more likely to give men a break on things like that (especially those in health care fields). Of course, this is not universal, but it seems like many are open to it.
I'm a Millennial, and IME it definitely is true. I've lived in Seattle and the Bay Area, and judging by all the mixed couples I've seen and known personally, a lot of women aren't aware there ever was a negative image associated with Asian men. That may linger among some people, or some parts of the US, but I've never even heard of that until I came to this forum. What kind of "Asian" are we talking about? East Asian? There may be issues with Iranian, Afghan, and Near Eastern men, but that's for other reasons.
I'm a Millennial, and IME it definitely is true. I've lived in Seattle and the Bay Area, and judging by all the mixed couples I've seen and known personally, a lot of women aren't aware there ever was a negative image associated with Asian men. That may linger among some people, or some parts of the US, but I've never even heard of that until I came to this forum. What kind of "Asian" are we talking about? East Asian? There may be issues with Iranian, Afghan, and Near Eastern men, but that's for other reasons.
As others have said, the OP's difficulty is highly influenced by geography....
Quote:
Originally Posted by ServoMiff
... The college town of Bloomington was fine, but not much outside of that was worth anything to an intelligent person. Match.com never really worked for me. Because I lived in a college town, there really wasn't any way I could reasonably date a college girl, because they'd end up leaving town as soon as they finished school. The job market just wouldn't allow it.
... There just isn't a deep pool of educated people there, since the major industry is travel and tourism, which doesn't require an advanced degree. ...
The one thing Rudder's data didn't really delve into was breakouts into Geography to support my claim....
All excellent points! In much of America's "heartland", there are islands of affluence and erudition - the major cities and the college towns. Outside of these, it's corn and soybeans. It stands to reason that the better-educated young people would aim to move away, in search of better jobs and more rewarding lives. But my anecdotal supposition is that this happens with men, more than with women. That is, the better-educated women are more likely to move away, while their male counterparts remain. The successful/professional men who find stay-at-home-wives go on to lead lifestyles of comfort and fulfillment, but those who prefer alternative arrangements are going to struggle.
In my own case, my employment is in a "bubble"; many of my coworkers are intelligent, accomplished and well-remunerated. But it's the only game in town. Outside of the bubble, the employment opportunities are paltry. Inside of the bubble, people marry early and form families. The "pool of educated people" is limited, and almost entirely married.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sommie789
People from the middle east are certain white.
I've always found American racial distinctions to be odd. Anyone from Ireland to Bangladesh, Yemen to Finland is "white"... as distinct from "Asian" or "Black". In so many other societies - which by the way in some regards are actually more subtly racist than America - there's a continuum of racial/ethnic identity. Perhaps the starkness of American racial distinctions is what so amplifies group-preference in dating.
Well, I can say for sure there's no stigma in relation to Tibetan men, except possibly in parts of the US that discriminate against anyone not of European heritage. Tibetans seem popular with all generations of Euro-American women, including Millennials. Somehow, they're considered exotic, and therefore "hot", or charming, or whatever, whereas East Asians are, by now, more ordinary. They don't have the same level of exotica factor.
I'd go on a date w you if you were back in the Boston area. I like analytical men and i like attractive Asians just as much as any other attractive men.
I once worked in an office where all of the 3 married women were married to Asian men. They were all well educated beautiful white women. How's that for an anomaly?
Maybe you should focus on women with Masters or above and/or in the medical field? That was the demographics of wives at my old office.
For some reason, I end up going out with more teachers than any other professions. I generally will only date someone who is educated and has her life together. Haven't specifically looked in the medical field. Know any good way to meet women in that field?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I don't think it's quite as unusual as stereotypes would have us believe. Asian men can be very attractive. Any stigma that was attached to them has been long forgotten, and never existed with Gen-X-ers and Millennials, at least--not around the West Coast, there there's been an Asian presence for over 100 years.
I agree with you that in certain areas, that is the case. However, taken as a whole, there is a clear bias against Asian men in dating that has been proven in numerous studies. Take a look at the my post that cite's Rudder's study (moderator has kindly added a link to the original post). Here it is again, for you convenience:
Have you ever considered the West Coast? I just moved from Orlando to San Francisco about a year ago, and given the population of Asians is significantly higher in Northern California and Seattle, I think you might have better success out this way than in Texas.
Funny you say that. For nearly every job offer I've had since school, I've had the option to be in the bay area. It is I who adamantly refused. I grew up in TX and LOVE Austin. Also, CA's taxes are high, and housing prices are just nuts. If I lived in the bay area, I can really only afford a townhouse if I want to live reasonably close to work. But here in Austin, I can have a few more toys
Don't get me wrong, the bachelor life is pretty good Still would like to find someone though!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ServoMiff
Then on a particularly desperate night in early 2010, I looked at OKC and lowered my age limit to 21, just to see what was out there (I was 34 at that point). I sent out a few messages that night and got one back from one of those 21 year olds who was a Senior in college who had never met anyone from an online dating site before. We went out on a first date a few days after Valentine's Day, and we've been married for 3 years now. We have a big age difference, but her parents were around the same age as mine (she was a late child). We moved to SF and both have good jobs and she's made some female friends here who have told her how they'd prefer asian males.
I'm again amused by this bit. Out of the nearly 20 or so ladies I've gone out with since 2014, the one I liked the most by far is also one of the youngest. She's almost 8 years younger than I am. She didn't seem to care though, probably because her dad is 10 yrs older than her mom. Really smart girl (Johns Hopkins grad, student at UT Austin law school), funny, pretty, and into a bunch of the same obscure interests as me. We really liked each other, but the timing was wrong and things didn't work out. I have no qualms about dating younger women, but more often I go out with women who are closer to my own age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ServoMiff
The one thing Rudder's data didn't really delve into was breakouts into Geography to support my claim. I am a data analyst in the banking industry and I can tell you that geography matters. Sweeping generalizations of the US may give a baseline, but more often than not, you can find outliers when digging deeper.
I agree with you definitely. Geography matters!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ServoMiff
Best wishes to you in your quest to find that right person.
Thank you sir! The quest continues!
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Just curious, are you Asian? I agree with you, now that I've spent multiple years in both places, I definitely feel like dating is easier in Boston, for me at least. I do still have family and a lot of friends in the Boston area and I visit every year. But I just can't deal the cold winters. Also, housing prices there are ridiculous. There is no way for me to own a house there (as a single person) AND keep up with my car hobby 
Not from what I've seen and experienced in San Diego - but I've heard from acquaintances that Orange County and the Bay area are different...
Still would like to find someone though!
