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Here’s what happened today: I phoned her at 11 am – no answer. Text her. Phone again at hourly intervals the phone is on but she doesn’t answer. Jealous I go in overdrive. Is she mad at me or was she in an accident? I phoned one of her colleague/friends. Oh no, he says, they’re driving in three cars and she’s in one of them up ahead. She phones me 5 minutes later her phone was on silent and she’s still having fun. They had a meeting and then drove up the coast.
I guess everything is fine I’ll get her a the airport. I behaved like a teenager. Beleive me. Next time I’ll be at the last evening dinner no matter what it costs.
In future I’ll be less complacent about her. I still loves her as much as 33 years ago when we got married.
What you should have done is to plant a listening device in her purse and her shoes so that you can record and listen every conversation. In addition, you should turn on GPS tracking on her phone so that you can track her every move.
Obviously the cheapest and the most effective way is to handcuff her to your wrist. Oh, but you can't control her mind... that's a trough one.
Seriously, your paranoia is beyond ridiculous. She's an adult, a 53 years old adult. Treat her as an adult!
If she wants to, she will cheat on you regardless what you do. If she can't cheat on you physically, she will cheat on you in her mind.
If your paranoia really drives you crazy, you need to go see a psychiatrist immediately.
I don't know... She must be used to his behavior by now and perhaps she can tolerate it, but she may also have enough of it one of these days. I know I wouldn't put up with it.
My wife is 53 years old and still very attractive. She works for a small company that holds congresses yearly. She does much of the organization of these congresses and of cause wants to attend them too. Normally I join her on the last day when they hold a diner with some artists and such and maybe a dance and a lot of drinking goes on. I usually join her on the last day and the party and stay over for the night.
This year it was held at a coastal resort about a 1000 miles away. She asked me to come with but we’ve got a kid in school and my plane ticket is quite expensive so I, not wanting to be jealous, told her that ill have to miss out.
Problem is that the delegates are mostly executives, some with there wives attending but many not.
I was starting to think and this almost made me go mad. She went to this place where obviously a lot of joking and maybe even flirting is going to happen. Many of these people she’s friends with on a social level. And people are people and dancing and so on and you see where I’m going?
Question is: Is this appropriate for her to go there alone or should I have made more effort to be with her?
So why are you still married to a woman you obviously don't trust?
My wife is 53 years old and still very attractive. She works for a small company that holds congresses yearly. She does much of the organization of these congresses and of cause wants to attend them too. Normally I join her on the last day when they hold a diner with some artists and such and maybe a dance and a lot of drinking goes on. I usually join her on the last day and the party and stay over for the night.
This year it was held at a coastal resort about a 1000 miles away. She asked me to come with but we’ve got a kid in school and my plane ticket is quite expensive so I, not wanting to be jealous, told her that ill have to miss out.
Problem is that the delegates are mostly executives, some with there wives attending but many not.
I was starting to think and this almost made me go mad. She went to this place where obviously a lot of joking and maybe even flirting is going to happen. Many of these people she’s friends with on a social level. And people are people and dancing and so on and you see where I’m going?
Question is: Is this appropriate for her to go there alone or should I have made more effort to be with her?
Why would you feel jealous of not joining her? You said yourself that you normally join her only on the last day. You're not jealous of what goes on the days that you're NOT there? Why are the executives the problem? Who says anything would have to transpire between your wife and them? My motto is don't poop where you eat so if I'm going to do anything, it certainly WON'T be with one of the executives. If my agenda is to cheat then I would look for something outside of that event. IMO, I don't think you're jealous. I think you were disappointed that you couldn't go at all this time.
Question is: Is this appropriate for her to go there alone or should I have made more effort to be with her?
Its her job, yes? Do you normally have to accompany her to work to prevent her from jumping in bed with every man that crosses her path?
You should make an effort to go with her if it is because you want to be with her and support her, not because you are jealous of her.
Now, does she equally mistrust you staying home without her? Or is she mature enough after 33 years of marriage to be able to leave you alone for a few days without obsessing about you running out and bedding any woman you can.
My wife is 53 years old and still very attractive. She works for a small company that holds congresses yearly. She does much of the organization of these congresses and of cause wants to attend them too. Normally I join her on the last day when they hold a diner with some artists and such and maybe a dance and a lot of drinking goes on. I usually join her on the last day and the party and stay over for the night.
This year it was held at a coastal resort about a 1000 miles away. She asked me to come with but we’ve got a kid in school and my plane ticket is quite expensive so I, not wanting to be jealous, told her that ill have to miss out.
Problem is that the delegates are mostly executives, some with there wives attending but many not.
I was starting to think and this almost made me go mad. She went to this place where obviously a lot of joking and maybe even flirting is going to happen. Many of these people she’s friends with on a social level. And people are people and dancing and so on and you see where I’m going?
Question is: Is this appropriate for her to go there alone or should I have made more effort to be with her?
Companies still have money to do this kind of junket??
Look, either you trust your wife or you don't.
That's really your problem.
In addition, why haven't the two of you sat down together and come to some sort of agreement on what is and what isn't "appropriate" behavior for each of you as the others spouse?
Mutual respect is key.
If she has done something you really think is disrespectful, then communicate that to her.
But if all she is doing is attending a work function that you don't like because you can't be there to watch her, that's just you being irrationally jealous.
Yes you're right and I don't behave like this all the time. Its just like years ago in the army when one of the guys got a dear Johnny, someone might say: "with the right girl and the right guy at the right time anything can happen." and you get that sore spot in your throat thinking "I hope my girl doesn't meet the right guy at that place cause I still want to spend my life with her". Its all irrational and you all helped to set my mind straight.
Yes you're right and I don't behave like this all the time. Its just like years ago in the army when one of the guys got a dear Johnny, someone might say: "with the right girl and the right guy at the right time anything can happen." and you get that sore spot in your throat thinking "I hope my girl doesn't meet the right guy at that place cause I still want to spend my life with her". Its all irrational and you all helped to set my mind straight.
Be confident man!! The woman is not only bringing home the bacon, she's been with you 33 years - I think you can relax a little by now, lol.
This is the kind of jealousy a young man would have, so get ahold of yourself.
My wife is 53 years old and still very attractive. She works for a small company that holds congresses yearly. She does much of the organization of these congresses and of cause wants to attend them too. Normally I join her on the last day when they hold a diner with some artists and such and maybe a dance and a lot of drinking goes on. I usually join her on the last day and the party and stay over for the night.
This year it was held at a coastal resort about a 1000 miles away. She asked me to come with but we’ve got a kid in school and my plane ticket is quite expensive so I, not wanting to be jealous, told her that ill have to miss out.
Problem is that the delegates are mostly executives, some with there wives attending but many not.
I was starting to think and this almost made me go mad. She went to this place where obviously a lot of joking and maybe even flirting is going to happen. Many of these people she’s friends with on a social level. And people are people and dancing and so on and you see where I’m going?
Question is: Is this appropriate for her to go there alone or should I have made more effort to be with her?
Well, I can only speak for myself and give you my opinion. I'm sure that everyone will think I am way out of line on this one. LOL
In my world a wife does not cavort without the spouse present. It shows a shocking lack of respect and common courtesy to you, her husband. If you cannot attend, the RIGHT thing to do would be for your wife to bow out graciously and be a wife first and foremost since, IMHO this is the MOST IMPORTANT JOB that she has. Everything else should be secondary, and traveling 1,000 miles so that she can be a party girl is NOT acceptable. Sorry if this offends people but I have a *little more self respect* than to behave quite that shamelessly.
Well, I can only speak for myself and give you my opinion. I'm sure that everyone will think I am way out of line on this one. LOL
In my world a wife does not cavort without the spouse present. It shows a shocking lack of respect and common courtesy to you, her husband. If you cannot attend, the RIGHT thing to do would be for your wife to bow out graciously and be a wife first and foremost since, IMHO this is the MOST IMPORTANT JOB that she has. Everything else should be secondary, and traveling 1,000 miles so that she can be a party girl is NOT acceptable. Sorry if this offends people but I have a *little more self respect* than to behave quite that shamelessly.
20yrsinBranson
You know I love ya honey, but this is just not realistic.
The woman has a good job, one that involves this kind of gathering.
Would you tell a high paid corporate husband that he couldn't "cavort" without his spouse present if his job required it? Of course not.
The woman has a job to do, she's doing it. She cannot be faulted for doing her job just because he had a moment of insecurity.
She has not "disrespected" him.
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