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Well, I don't see marriage as a wonderful to me. It only seems like an absolutely miserable existence. I have friends who are married and they're happy and more power to them but I would be miserable if I were married.
How do you know? What makes you say that? Until you have met the right person - I don't know how you can say what marriage would be like. When you are with the right person - they make everything better. Even just sitting on the sofa watching TV is better. If you are with the wrong person - everything might be worse. Even a trip to Tahiti could suck with the wrong person. What exactly is it about marriage that would make you miserable?
Misandrist TV shows/films/advertising and articles in the MSM that always seem to find a way to blame men for all relationship problems have done a lot more damage. Few men are good enough for women anymore, no matter how hard they try. When the men, women are interested in do not reciprocate, they must be using porn!
I thought the same thing. It's absurd. Beside checking out a few porn magazines or going to the "rite of passage" porn movie with a group of friends, most people don't bother with it. It's a huge industry, but I don't know many consumers.
This is virtually impossible for most men. They are usually rejected outright or as soon as she finds something - often very minor - that she dislikes.
A small percentage of men can have many chances to find the "right" woman but for the most part, this is not what they are looking for. Another slightly larger group can get enough opportunities to make their chances good, but there is certainly no guarantee. Women can be on their "best behavior" at this time.
Most other men - about 2/3 to 4/5 - depending where you live - have little input into the decision. Basically, the harder one has getting a date, the less opportunities they get and the more that they need, to get to the magic number. Many men just seem to take what comes along and then end up unhappy with a decision that was seldom really theirs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
I don't know how you can say what marriage would be like. When you are with the right person - they make everything better.
By age 30, most men have seen dozens, if not more than 100 marriages in action. They usually don't like what they see and they are seeing the sanitized version!
At one time, they had to wait until their 30s to hear the horror stories about divorce, from men their own age. Now they can read it on the internet. Now days, many men in their early 20s amaze me with their cynicism. At that age, I actually believed that women would eventually grow up and start to look for quality. This never seemed to happen, from what I saw.
The guy I'm talking to is in his early 20's - what experience would that be?
Quote:
This is virtually impossible for most men. They are usually rejected outright or as soon as she finds something - often very minor - that she dislikes.
A small percentage of men can have many chances to find the "right" woman but for the most part, this is not what they are looking for. Another slightly larger group can get enough opportunities to make their chances good, but there is certainly no guarantee. Women can be on their "best behavior" at this time.
Most other men - about 2/3 to 4/5 - depending where you live - have little input into the decision. Basically, the harder one has getting a date, the less opportunities they get and the more that they need, to get to the magic number. Many men just seem to take what comes along and then end up unhappy with a decision that was seldom really theirs.
By age 30, most men have seen dozens, if not more than 100 marriages in action. They usually don't like what they see and they are seeing the sanitized version!
At one time, they had to wait until their 30s to hear the horror stories about divorce, from men their own age. Now they can read it on the internet. Now days, many men in their early 20s amaze me with their cynicism. At that age, I actually believed that women would eventually grow up and start to look for quality. This never seemed to happen, from what I saw.
I think it's easier for some people to just say that all women are bad than to look at themselves and accept responsibility for the way things have ended up. And I guess it would make a person feel better to have other people hate women in just the same way - it would justify their own bitterness.
I know lots of happily married people - men and women. In some of the married couples that I know - I am closer to the men - so I'm not getting everything from the perspective of the women. I know that all the guys I dated were good men and that my husband is a good man. All my female friends are good women. There are good people out there with happy marriages. You might not want to acknowledge that - but it's true.
I think it's easier for some people to just say that all women are bad than to look at themselves and accept responsibility for the way things have ended up. And I guess it would make a person feel better to have other people hate women in just the same way - it would justify their own bitterness.
Interesting to see where this discussion went. I posted the article because I thought there was truth, not universal truth but some truth, wrapped in some humor.
Since he was mentioned, I wanted to note that Tom Leykis is a misogynistic jackass. I find his attitude no different than someone who stereotypes people based on race.
As Leykis and others do, they look at dating as a perverse mathematical/supply-demand market. Hot women only want money, people need to just figure out where they stand and what they can get, etcetera. Sure, most people have their limits, but thankfully most people are more complicated than that.
There are bad seeds on both sides, but I just find that there are good (attractive) people out there if one has a good attitude and is persistent and makes an effort.
She WASN'T an attorney. She's still alive, and is NOT an attorney. She worked in a law office. Julia Roberts looked cheap in "Mystic Pizza," too. That's the first movie I ever saw her in (on an airplane). She does NOT have universal appeal. Why is this even being debated here? It belongs on Celebrities. This derailment occurred because someone brought up "Officer and a Gentleman," and then added "Pretty Woman," and "Maid in Manhattan." Let's get off the movie stars and stick to the OP.
You do know that when people die in movies -they don't die in real life - right? I played a hooker in a musical - but I'm not actually a hooker. You seem to be confused about these things - just trying to clear them up.
I think it's easier for some people to just say that all women are bad than to look at themselves and accept responsibility for the way things have ended up. And I guess it would make a person feel better to have other people hate women in just the same way - it would justify their own bitterness.
Exactly what I've been saying on here for a couple of years now. They don't want to consider it. They come on here and they say hateful things to try to annoy or upset the women here, and they make these sweeping announcements about how they'll never get married, they'll never be monogamous, they'll never do this, they'll never do that, as though taking themselves off the market and out of the gene pool is somehow punishing women.
Except it's not, because emotionally healthy, stable women don't want men like them in the first place. Good women don't want to deal with that kind of ignorant fearfulness in a young man and that kind of worn-out baggage in an older one. There are too many good men out there to bother with the He-Men Woman-Haters. That there are plenty of happy marriages and plenty of happy relationships is proof.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
The guy I'm talking to is in his early 20's - what experience would that be?
I think it's easier for some people to just say that all women are bad than to look at themselves and accept responsibility for the way things have ended up. And I guess it would make a person feel better to have other people hate women in just the same way - it would justify their own bitterness.
I know lots of happily married people - men and women. In some of the married couples that I know - I am closer to the men - so I'm not getting everything from the perspective of the women. I know that all the guys I dated were good men and that my husband is a good man. All my female friends are good women. There are good people out there with happy marriages. You might not want to acknowledge that - but it's true.
Let's see. For one, my own parents. Two, my mother's marriages where the person who seemed like the one changed. Three, some friends who I consider good folk, ending up in divorced and destitute.
I'm going to say this again. I don't think all women are bad. I just doubt I'll find one who I feel I can be happy with for the rest of my life (and who wants to be with me) and I do not want to be locked up in the marriage jail cell only to be placed on the divorce probation (I've had friends on probation, NOT fun.)
Let's see. For one, my own parents. Two, my mother's marriages where the person who seemed like the one changed. Three, some friends who I consider good folk, ending up in divorced and destitute.
I'm going to say this again. I don't think all women are bad. I just doubt I'll find one who I feel I can be happy with for the rest of my life (and who wants to be with me) and I do not want to be locked up in the marriage jail cell only to be placed on the divorce probation (I've had friends on probation, NOT fun.)
Other people's experiences are not the same as your own experiences. Not by a long shot. You need to experience things for yourself. That's what life is all about. Some of my friends have dated some real losers. I know 2 women that found out their husbands were cheating on them for their entire marriage. But these are their experiences - not mine.
I know you don't think all women are bad - but sometimes it comes across that way. The only reason that I reply to you so often is because I actually think you are a pretty darn good person, to be honest with you. I just think you have a lot of stuff that you need to get past.
When you marry the right person - it's not a prison sentence. If you marry the wrong person - I'm sure it is. I would never tell someone to just marry anyone and I would never tell someone to get married just for the sake of getting married. What makes me sad is seeing people so young decide that it's not even worth it to hope for that kind of happiness. I'm not saying make that be your only goal in life - it certainly wasn't mine - but at least leave yourself open to the idea that it might happen.
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