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Love is love...if you truly love, adore, and cherish someone, with all your heart, you will never abandon them That goes for male as well as female. If I were hypothetically romantically involved with an older woman, and married her...my wedding vows to her and love for her would never change, no matter how older she gets, over time.
If/when I am blessed to get married someday in the future, my wedding vows will truly be sacred to me -- and nothing, short of adultery or abuse, could ever break that loving bond. For better or worse...for richer or poorer...in sickness and in health...till death do us part. If I ever have the opportunity to make that pledge, it will be as true to me as the beating of my heart. For the honor and permanence, of love eternal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacelilies
So I came across this article on the internet about older women dating younger men.
At first when I was reading it, I thought the author was very bitter, seeing that she had dated a younger man for 2 decades and it didn't work out, but as I continued to read, I saw that she had some very valid points. Not only did she predict Demi and Ashton's relationship demise, but she also hit at what I believe is the core reason for why these relationships don't work out..
"When he was young, you made him feel mature. Now that he's nearing 40, she makes him feel young. For a middle-aged man, that's a priceless gift."
I have a coworker who's now in his 40s. He's told me that as a younger man, he dated mostly older women i.e 10 years plus, even got engaged to one. Those relationships boosted his ego. He was seen as "the man" for pulling older chicks. Now that he's in his 40s, you can't pull his eyes away from the 20 year olds. I used to think it was a bit gross and pervertish the way he would talk about his latest 20 year old conquest (those relationships have never lasted btw) because it focused mainly on the superficial characteristics i.e her age and how she looks, never her mind or something deeper.
Now I think I understand the allure. Younger women make him feel young and at his age, that's what's important to him.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you agree with the author's premise?
I'd like to believe that love conquers all, and that all kinds of non-traditional relationships do thrive, however, I have never seen an older woman/younger man relationship dynamic work long term. Have you? If so, share
Love is love...if you truly love, adore, and cherish someone, with all your heart, you will never abandon them That goes for male as well as female. If I were hypothetically romantically involved with an older woman, and married her...my wedding vows to her and love for her would never change, no matter how older she gets, over time.
If/when I am blessed to get married someday in the future, my wedding vows will truly be sacred to me -- and nothing, short of adultery or abuse, could ever break that loving bond. For better or worse...for richer or poorer...in sickness and in health...till death do us part. If I ever have the opportunity to make that pledge, it will be as true to me as the beating of my heart. For the honor and permanence, of love eternal.
Awww Knight2009, this was really, truly sweet. I have told you before that you are a rare breed... I really hope you find a great woman soon. She would be a lucky gal
Awww Knight2009, this was really, truly sweet. I have told you before that you are a rare breed... I really hope you find a great woman soon. She would be a lucky gal
Many thanks for all of your kindness my friend, and for your very generous compliments! ((affectionate hugs)) I deeply appreciate your kind words...again thank you so much!!
I don't think age is a big deal. People either take their vows seriously, or they don't. My dad is 12 years younger than my mother. When he had his "mid life crisis" he didn't leave her, he just bought a corvette to fix up They've been together for over 30 years. She just beat cancer, and he did the lion's share of the work caring for her. Because he is a good person, not a shallow douche.
A 50 year old woman in 10 years will be 60. Men are very superficial and women are more material or security driven. That's the way it is.
Man,,,,That menopause stuff is no joke. I've seen women deal with that mess. Mood changes and hot flashes... What guy who isn't married to a woman is going to put up with that? I guess basically life is about checks and balance. In the early years women call the shots due to their looks and men are basically broke. Once a man starts to accumulate some wealth then the shift starts. If a man has money getting women is not a problem so why should he stay around? 94-year-old Billionaire Marries for Fifth Time. To Be Old, Rich and in Love | Vitality - Yahoo! Shine
So women marry that man and don't leave for at least 10 years..
I might go for a much-younger guy for the romance, intensity, cuteness and sex. But I personally would not pursue a man 20 years younger than I for something more permanent.
I feel the same way with the genders reversed: I just can't see dating a 65-year-old man. On top of the fact that I'd feel like I was going out with my father, what happens 15 or 20 years down the road? I'm feeding and changing him.
That may sound harsh, but again: I wouldn't expect a younger man to look toward a future like that, either.
I know anything can happen and anyone can become incapacitated and that love doesn't stop there...but I can't see deliberately seeking out a situation that was highly likely to become, within a decade or so, a caretaking situation.
I agree with you. But this article is about young guys, who in their youth dated older women, then as soon as they get older, then switch their attentions to younger women.
I want to understand why they make that switch.
If you used to be attracted to something, why do you suddenly change?
It doesn't sound like he changed at all. He was attracted to a 30 year old woman when he was 20. Now she's a 40 year old woman 10 years later! LOL.
Honestly, I don't really understand the phenomenon myself so I just have to speculate. But I think you've got men getting with these older women either because these women actually bother to approach the men (probably because they're older and less rigid in these matters) or the men feel these women are more approachable for a variety of reasons that I can only speculate on. Its not that these men are in particular looking for an older woman, they just want to date a woman or even just sleep with a woman and a 30, 40 year old woman can look pretty good even to a 20 something guy. And maybe these women don't mind paying for expensive trips or something, I don't know really.
But the guy is still 20. He hasn't really grown up yet and while she looks great and he's having fun now when he grows up, she's still older than him and she wasn't ever really a long term prospect in his mind so the relationship ends. This is harsh but she may have started to really look old at that point, maybe she never wanted kids and he's started too as tends to happen sometimes as boys grow into men.
I don't know what the appeal is from the woman's perspective either really. I hear women calling themselves MILFs and cougars sometimes now like its some great compliment and it sounds weird to me. I never thought young men were particularly adverse to sleeping with a somewhat older woman myself...I just didn't think there were ever particular interested in a LTR with them. When I was a younger I got a very real sense I was an oversupplied commodity that your average woman my age was just not interested in. If I had to guess these women are not aggressively pursued anymore and by dating a younger guy they get to relive that time period.
usually these men either see these women as a sex fetish or a free ride (sex, meals, money, possible place to stay) nothing more.
That happened to my friend who's 50. She looks good for her age, I must say. But yeah she dates 30-somethings and the flings never really last long. She dated a late 30s guy for 6 months who was paying for their dates, but he was pretty much camping out at her place on weekends when he didn't have his kids and even during the week. She cooked for him, everything. He told her he loved her just a few months in just so he could continue benefitting from their situation. But after six months, he totally cut her off. No explanation, nothing. But he just happened to be no good. I think he would have done this to any woman, no matter how young or old.
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That goes for male as well as female. If I were hypothetically romantically involved with an older woman, and married her...my wedding vows to her and love for her would never change, no matter how older she gets, over time.
