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What you really mean is no, you don't have a problem with it because the status quo says you shouldn't. If you did, then you'd have to attach all sorts of negative meanings to it such as 'having low self esteem.'
What you really mean is no, you don't have a problem with it because the status quo says you shouldn't. If you did, then you'd have to attach all sorts of negative meanings to it such as 'having low self esteem.'
I don't see how worrying whether or not your partner's previous lovers are better than you in bed isn't about low self-esteem. A secure person doesn't sweat over that sort of thing.
I don't see how worrying whether or not your partner's previous lovers are better than you in bed isn't about low self-esteem. A secure person doesn't sweat over that sort of thing.
According to a lot of these people in various threads: a "secure person" is OK with sleeping around and doesn't care about their partners past sex partners and a myriad of other things, LOL. So we all have different definitions of what a 'secure' person really is I guess.
According to a lot of these people in various threads: a "secure person" is OK with sleeping around and doesn't care about their partners past sex partners and a myriad of other things, LOL. So we all have different definitions of what a 'secure' person really is I guess.
A secure person doesn't care if their partner has had 100 partners in the past or 0, as long as they are happy and healthy together right now.
Surely you can't think a secure person is tossing and turning at night worrying about what their partner is dreaming about?
According to a lot of these people in various threads: a "secure person" is OK with sleeping around and doesn't care about their partners past sex partners and a myriad of other things, LOL. So we all have different definitions of what a 'secure' person really is I guess.
Agreed.
[one man's security could be another woman's prison]
A secure person doesn't care if their partner has had 100 partners in the past or 0, as long as they are happy and healthy together right now.
Surely you can't think a secure person is tossing and turning at night worrying about what their partner is dreaming about?
I don't think it has a thing to do with security and more to do with preference. I think it's common sense to assume the man is comparing the woman to other women he's been with sexually. Alright to the extent of losing sleeping over it, might be extreme. But still it's about personal preference to me. If a person is just as happy with a partner that had 2 partners as they would be 1200, to each his own, can't say it enough. But throwing all of these other things on top of it (Oh it relates to self esteem, oh it relates to your views on sex overall, etc) for people that don't agree with it, again, is what I have a problem with.
A secure person is not worried about whether a former partner was better at one thing or another because - they aren't together now. There is obviously a reason so why stress over it? I'd rather enjoy the time we have together rather than making us both unhappy with my stressing over the past. That bell is rung and there's no undoing it. But what happened before has made my partner into the person he is now - and so I thank the previous partners for their contributions - seriously. My husband learned so much from his failed marriages.
A secure person is not worried about whether a former partner was better at one thing or another because - they aren't together now. There is obviously a reason so why stress over it? I'd rather enjoy the time we have together rather than making us both unhappy with my stressing over the past. That bell is rung and there's no undoing it. But what happened before has made my partner into the person he is now - and so I thank the previous partners for their contributions - seriously. My husband learned so much from his failed marriages.
I wish I could take that and use it as a siggy to demonstrate what misguided optimism does to a person, LOL.
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