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You're not buying a used car. You're living with a person, a fallible person who has made his or her share of mistakes along the way. Everybody has a past, and you're not so perfect yourself.
Before we got engaged, MrsCPG and I went through the ritual of running through past sexual partners. She had markedly fewer than I did. We swore that would be the only time we talked about it, and we've kept our word to each other.
What you really mean is no, you don't have a problem with it because the status quo says you shouldn't. If you did, then you'd have to attach all sorts of negative meanings to it such as 'having low self esteem.'
I can't think of any reason to be upset about something someone did when they didn't know you. Imagine this scenario without sex: "You went to Rome when you were in high school? But I haven't been anywhere.....How am I supposed to deal with this?"
When you fall in love with someone, you accept the fact that every experience they ever had before you entered their lives, negative and positive, shaped them into the person you now love, and you let any jealousy go.
yes everyone makes mistakes that's true. But in my world all mistakes are not equal. There's little mistakes and then there's 'WTF mistakes' -- don't you agree? I guess the main factor is which category someone would place different mistakes. I don't know anything about your husband or how many times he's been married; I said it was misguided optimism b/c to me a person with 3, 4, 5, failed marriages is a 'WTF mistake' not a learning experience. But that is me and maybe that is not how you would view such a thing.
For me, no I don't agree. And that's the problem with being judge, jury and executioner about someone's past, when you didn't know them. If you're scoring people's pasts with "levels" of mistake, it's probably best not to date them because they'll likely not live up to your standards, nor should they have to.
For me, no I don't agree. And that's the problem with being judge, jury and executioner about someone's past, when you didn't know them. If you're scoring people's pasts with "levels" of mistake, it's probably best not to date them because they'll likely not live up to your standards,nor should they have to.
Hey, I didn't say anything about judge, jury and executioner. Which is why I said what is a big mistake to one person may not be to another. There's a big difference in my book between ridiculing someone for their past -- and choosing not to date them. By your reasoning I should accept "anything" because it was in the past. If that works for you then that's your buisness. Yes, I have standards and no 'anything' does not fly with me. I would come to the determination whether it was a man I wanted to deal with or not, based on how I feel about the situation -- the same way men judge women (and on much more nonsensical issues, if you ask me). I expect a person who has had all kinds of crazy dealings in the past to say 'you have too high standards.' What else is new.
How's that song go, If you want my future, you have to forgt my past.
I live in he moment when it comes to the subject of partners, as Ln as h I with me and no one else, I could careless abou who she's slept with in the past.
Nope, I'm glad that they taught him everything he knows!
That is my take on it. My first incredible sex was with my girlfriend at 19. It wasn't the first time that was great it was 4 or 5 times down the road when we both started feeling more comfortable with each other. I asked her where did she learn how to rock my world like she did. She said she learned everything from her previous 28 year old boyfriend. She asked me if I felt bad about her telling me. I replied "No, and if I met him I wanted to thank him".
This Puritan view that someone is soiled because of having sex with someone else is ridiculus. I won't waste my time with guilt over sex.
I'm typically inquisative and sex is no different. if you want to tell me, I'm not going to hold it against you and if theres something I can learn thats going to rock her world I want to know!
When you fall in love with someone, you accept the fact that every experience they ever had before you entered their lives, negative and positive, shaped them into the person you now love, and you let any jealousy go.
That's a good way of putting it.
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