Do you ever toss and turn over your partner's previous sexual experiences? (wife, loving)

[byfuglien]

Like think/want to know each detail about them and whether they still have any feelings for fantasies about those experiences?

I do.

[stan4]

Um, I did with the two partners I had that were...um...how shall I say...not discriminating in their choice of sexual partners in the past.

Then I realized that it just grossed me out and try as I may, I could not get over it. Nor could I then suddenly accept that sex between US was special if they had done random strangers (college hookups) or F buddies at one point (that point only being a year or two before we got together - so not distant past).

I accept everyone comes with baggage and previous sexual partners. I am ok with the fact that my wife has had previous sexual partners. But it does not bother me whatsoever as I know they were in the context of loving relationships.

[Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus]

It does disgust me, I can't help it. I've just tried to accept that sex isn't special, and moved on with life.

[bobman]

No.

I make sure I'm the best I can be, then they've no reason to fantasise about anything other than me.

[mco65]

I learned a long time ago to let that stuff go. Don't ask about it and don't think about it.. think about the here and now.. Focus on the things you can control and not the things that have long since past..

[TaoistDude]

No, I really don't care. Besides, I've been there for most of them as most have been with me. Especially the good ones!

If you're obsessing about it, you may have a psychological problem - it isn't healthy or productive.

[Slanderous]

I can't do anything about the past, especially someone else's. We've both learned a lot from our pasts but have moved on.

[ReblTeen84]

No

[Trimac20]

Seriously, what's the point?

That's the why the idea is sorta silly, apart from maybe concerns over STD's. If we're not monogamous we're all 'serial cheaters'. If I wasn't' somewhat romantic I might well be a swinger.

Who knows what their past is, especially what they're not telling us. It's a risk we take.

[strawberrykiki]

Not really. The past is the past. It's pretty unfair to be upset with someone about things they did before they ever knew you. And if you can't get over their past, then you need to move on. It isn't fair to either of you.