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Any decent father would who truly loves their children.
But then again there are parent who sign their children up for $40k in student loans for college while pissing away money at lotto tickets instead of saving for the tuition.
See "comical" and "decent" are subjective terms..
Honestly every time I look at my daughter I love my wife more, and we have some serious fights some times over rather petty things and YES even during those trying times it holds true.
Just because a woman gives birth to a mans child does that automatically entitle her to his "Love" the rest of her life. He may be grateful for the kid but have no feelings for the babies momma (or vice versa).
by love I mean well wishes, cares about her well being, and will have the common courtesy of telling her he's getting married.
I don't mean candle lit dinners with dozens of roses in a big beautiful bath full of petals... this isn't ABC family channel or VH1 network show..
If she were just a random lay who got knocked up, why would she have had a lengthy convo with his Grandma? Do you really think granny would try to guilt trip her if baby momma was some type of skank? Why would they even have each others phone njmbers? They knew each other quite well at the time of the call. They dont just know each other.from meeting once a year at family gatherings. Baby Mama was talking to an ally.
I hear what you are saying. However, IMO It doesnt matter whether she was a skank, or a good girlfriend, or not. The fact is, they broke up. He has the right to move on with his life. Once you are broken up, the things that your partner might have done for you before, they will not do. The way your partner took your feelings into consideration before you broke up, they probably wont do anymore. It's hard to deal with, isnt it?
This is the hard part of breaking up and lettting go. To think that you will get the same treatment you might have gotten before a breakup is unrealistic. The fact that she talks to his grandmother, or any family member of his, doesnt mean anything. They have a child together, so their families are joined together forever. Just because they broke up does not mean that the family should ignore her..they have a child together. She will always be a part of the family now. No problem.
However, she needs to understand that her 'status' with him as a 'romantic interest' as a woman...whatever..will never be the same. He will not show her the same consideration, love, affection, etc because he does not feel these things for her. And honestly, she doesnt have the title for that anymore. She's an ex for 4 years. That is a hard pill to swallow..but such is life. I feel he is obligated to be a good father to his child, and be civil and cordial to her, and flexible and willing to work together to raise that child.
This is all he owes her. Anything else is his choice.
She is hurt because she has not gotten over her feelings for him, or what she thought her life was going to be with him. She has not had closure. If she did, this would not have affected her so much. But, that is not his fault. He cant go through life worrying about not hurting her feelings.
Honestly every time I look at my daughter I love my wife more, and we have some serious fights some times over rather petty things and YES even during those trying times it holds true.
You love your wife because you love your wife. She gave you a beautiful girl which cements that bond even more.
But if you had knocked up a girl in High School after 2 dates, that kid may be the love of your life also but the mom would have no claim to your love. You might appreciate the fact you both created a beautiful kid but appreciation is far from a lifetime of love and commitment.
She recruited a flying monkey. I suppose Grandma might have a fear that she'll be given less access to her g-grandchild since there's no chance now of her grandson marrying the girl, but she needs to be told to butt out.
If access is an issue at all, it means baby momma isnt a random lay. If she were, grandma wouldnt be talking to her.
People here think a 65 year old woman is a doddering idiot I suppose. Trust me, they know what time it is better than all of you. Granda would fear access.only if he and baby momma were living as a family unit. I would bet they.were, and since he is close to Gma, baby momma is close to her.too.
If a man truly loves his child, he'll always love the childs mother. And the reason is as simple as NO OTHER women would have been able to produce that child as they are today...
let me guess, no ex-wife?
Madam, I assure you, my husband loves his children- but he MOST ASSUREDLY does not love his ex- wife.
Hate to say this..well not really. It's my opinion. But..this right here is why I dont like to date people with kids. Nothing but freaking drama. And these chicks think they own the guy. I got your kids..blah blah..my feelings this.....you better do this/better not do that...i want more money...you cant see your kid.......i dont want some other woman near my kids..blah blah.
There is no indication of how long their relationship lasted nor where the birth of the baby came within it. She could have been knocked up during a one night stand, or they may have lived together for a few years before she became pregnant. You both are inventing things in order to support your own narrative.
The original post does indicate how long they were together, 6 years. She got pregnant at the end.
You could convince me that he doesn't owe child support much more easily than you can convince me that he doesn't owe her respect.
You don't know the circumstances around the pregnancy - why are so many of you speculating this much? The OP has intentionally left out this information, either because it isn't relevant or it will make us less sympathetic to her. Or perhaps because it is a huge drama she simply doesn't want to discuss. Regardless, the OP can easily explain this, but chooses not to.
What? I am the OP, I posted this. I DO KNOW the circumstances from both him and her. Why are YOU speculating, trying to make it what it's not. Not every man who has a child out of wedlock is a dead beat and don't pay child support, that would be a deal breaker as well. I don't mean to make this personal to you but you're projecting right now.
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