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well, had you called her as normal grown-up people do when inviting somebody somewhere, you wouldn't have to wonder what the stupid text means or who sent it, would you?! For the record, i doubt she sent it.
I decided to ask out this women I've chatted with and shared some laughs and dog appreciation at the dog park several times (having her email from a social group).
I ask her to a dog fundraiser event where you bring your dogs and compete in fun competitions like races and dress-ups. I say "thought you might like to hang out at this fun event, etc."
She responds in bold letters that she finds me repulsive and no way in hell would she ever hang out with me! [Um, OK, that would be a no...]
Now, I'm a good-looking, fit, albeit aging guy, who she's seen interacting pleasantly with people of all stripes (and their dogs). So why she would choose to respond in an ugly, hostile manner does not compute (she's probably just about 5 years younger). I take it as her having big issues (self-esteem or past-abuse from men, or drug or psychological problems, or who knows?).
Anyone else have any horror story "dating" encounters?
I don't agree with any of the responses. I think you creeped her out by getting her email from "a social group" and contacting her off-list.
If you see her regularly, it would have been natural to just ask her in person, no???? This whole sneak approach and the brutal rejection wouldn't have happened.
Also, what you see as "probably just about 5 years younger" may be just your wishful thinking. She is probably a LOT younger than you, but you think of yourself as young and hip (just a guess).
I have had it happen that guys creep on me like this. Simple hints in person, or any kind of polite decline sometimes just don't do the trick, and the only thing that works in this case is a FLAT-OUT NO.
(however, I would not call anyone repulsive)
She doesn't sound like a psycho to me. She sounds like someone who is tired of getting hit on by older guys. Should have stuck with the casual friendship, but sorry this happened to you anyway.
I say text her again, and demand an explaination! Tell her that you will NOT take no for an answer and that you will show her how repulsive you really are if she doesn't go out with you immediately! Tell her that you have a way of finding out her address and that if she doesn't go out with you 'this' evening, you will hunt her location down!
anyway, that's probably what i would do.....
I actually work with a couple of people that have this type of personality. One guy that I thought was normal until you talk with him about women; then he goes wacko. Guy number two walks around with a scowl and you never know how he's going to react. When guy number one starts dating a new woman I feel like warning her. They both acted normal for the first 6 months on the job.
I have a feeling there's more than one person here that exhibits similar traits.
I don't think it was her that responded either. That is too harsh of a response.
I was dating this girl a few years ago. I got this email from her stating how she was going to go back with her ex bf and how she's sorry but she made up her mind. Please don't call her anymore and that she's sorry but have a nice life.
I was pissed off and didn't call or reply back.
I get a call from her saying hey, how come you haven't called? I was like WTF? You said don't call you anymore!
It ended up being her ex bf got into her email account and sent it.
OP here, appreciate the comments, almost done talking about one of life's random non-sensical happenings. But I'll comment on some astute posts:
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
Well, had you called her as normal grown-up people do when inviting somebody somewhere, you wouldn't have to wonder what the stupid text means or who sent it, would you?! For the record, I doubt she sent it.
Yes, I'm with you in theory. Back in the old days, it was mostly in-person or over the phone, more real communication. Nowadays with email, Facebook, rampant dating site usage, e-social groups like Meetup... it's easier but trickier to communicate, no? I wanted to forward her the link of the fundraiser and email seemed appropriate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DayLight1555
Or she has a dissociative personality disorder (one personality appears at one time, and the other at the other time. Maybe one of her personalities likes you and the other one can't stand you)
This made me laugh, one of her personalities liked me but not the other. I don't know about dissociative disorder but the gal is always alone (with her dogs) and usually has a troubled look. At the very least she is on anti-depressants probably (not that there is anything wrong with that necessarily).
Quote:
Originally Posted by redvelvet709
Sorry she was so rude. THAT right there is why good men don't approach women, anymore. There is no reason for it, but it happens a lot. I assume she is crazy.
Thanks, it is like touching a hot stove again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bignutz
Look at it this way, did you develop any personal rapport with her, talk about any personal experiences, laugh, or otherwise engage her in interesting and entertaining conversation? It's like warming her up to peak her interest before you invite her to do something with you. You probably didn't, otherwise she wouldn't have slammed you since I'm sure you would have received a different response if she knew or felt differently about you.
Whatever, count yourself lucky she did you a favor and let you know the kind of a beast she is before you got more involved with her.
Mr. (ahem) bignutz, yeah, I've been guilty of trying to reel in the fish, before getting the bite, this is a good reminder. And to your last sentence, yes, I think women are more likely to clearly let men know when they are not feeling dateable.
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The only thing I need to add was that the last time I saw her she asked me (and several others in the convo), if I wanted to go to some commercial life coach seminar after the dog park. I, and everyone else looked at her like she had 2 heads, as we all stammered excuses why we couldn't make it. Guess I needed to go, and submit myself to the sales pitch of this group, yuk.
Nowadays with email, Facebook, rampant dating site usage, e-social groups like Meetup... it's easier but trickier to communicate, no?
Just because something is available doesn't mean you HAVE to use it. There are ropes on the market, too, but you don't buy one to hang yourself, do you.
OP here, appreciate the comments, almost done talking about one of life's random non-sensical happenings. But I'll comment on some astute posts:
Yes, I'm with you in theory. Back in the old days, it was mostly in-person or over the phone, more real communication. Nowadays with email, Facebook, rampant dating site usage, e-social groups like Meetup... it's easier but trickier to communicate, no? I wanted to forward her the link of the fundraiser and email seemed appropriate.
This made me laugh, one of her personalities liked me but not the other. I don't know about dissociative disorder but the gal is always alone (with her dogs) and usually has a troubled look. At the very least she is on anti-depressants probably (not that there is anything wrong with that necessarily).
Thanks, it is like touching a hot stove again.
Mr. (ahem) bignutz, yeah, I've been guilty of trying to reel in the fish, before getting the bite, this is a good reminder. And to your last sentence, yes, I think women are more likely to clearly let men know when they are not feeling dateable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The only thing I need to add was that the last time I saw her she asked me (and several others in the convo), if I wanted to go to some commercial life coach seminar after the dog park. I, and everyone else looked at her like she had 2 heads, as we all stammered excuses why we couldn't make it. Guess I needed to go, and submit myself to the sales pitch of this group, yuk.
Cheers everybody
Based on that statement I would have to think that she did not send you that horrible response. I think someone else did. Since she asked everyone and not specifically you to attend the seminar then my next thought is either she is married or has a SO and just did not share that information. If you sent her the link to the fundraiser and said "hang out", she would have either politely declined or accepted considering you accepted her invitiation to that life coach seminar.
Just because something is available doesn't mean you HAVE to use it. There are ropes on the market, too, but you don't buy one to hang yourself, do you.
To me if she isn't worth calling she most definitely isn't worth texting. I'm old though and in fairness have to concede that texting is not viewed in the same way by (some) younger folks as most people my own age. My preference is in person because that allows me to get a feel for her interest.
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