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Thanks Mal... the other aspect that isn't cool is that we are two middle-aged (mature) people, and I asked her to do something that was not necessarily even man/woman. Meaning, I considered asking a male friend to the event. She couldn't even respond as a human being, only as dating target (sex object I guess).
OK, so the "group invite" that she gave, was that after the rude rejection? If yes, then I agree, it either was not her who sent the rude rejection, or there was some serious confusion on who was who. (She did not recognize you, or thought you were someone else, or possibly you sent to the wrong person to start with?).
Anyway, if she's been cordial to you since the rejection, then I would suggest politely approaching her and asking first if she minds if you ask her something. Then quickly explain your experience, tell her you are confused, and want to know if that's how she really feels? If she says yes, then apologize, and let her know you won't contact her again (and don't). But if there was confusion, then you'll resolve it, have a damn good thing to talk about, and likely have a chance at asking her out (in person, not text or email) again. At any rate, you'll know if it's for real.
I've found that if you RESPECTFULLY and POLITELY ask people "WTF", that they will generally give you an answer. If she goes all volatile on you, then just move on....
Mr. (ahem) bignutz, yeah, I've been guilty of trying to reel in the fish, before getting the bite, this is a good reminder. And to your last sentence, yes, I think women are more likely to clearly let men know when they are not feeling dateable.
This little sentence you slip in here speaks volumes to me.
It tells me that yes, you have been coming on to this girl...probably quite persistently and it's making her uncomfortable to say the least.
You say she's only 5 years younger than you, well you don't know this. I would be she's just been polite at the dog park and was totally freaked when you emailed her.
I'm getting some Creepy McCreeperson vibes here, and I think she did too.
She was very rude but maybe she has ALREADY TOLD YOU that she's not interested in you in more polite ways, which you have chosen to ignore.
This little sentence you slip in here speaks volumes to me.
It tells me that yes, you have been coming on to this girl...probably quite persistently and it's making her uncomfortable to say the least.
You say she's only 5 years younger than you, well you don't know this. I would be she's just been polite at the dog park and was totally freaked when you emailed her.
I'm getting some Creepy McCreeperson vibes here, and I think she did too.
She was very rude but maybe she has ALREADY TOLD YOU that she's not interested in you in more polite ways, which you have chosen to ignore.
No MsAnnThrope, you are wrong on all counts. Plus I think you are guilty of the reflexive attitude 'for' women and 'against' men that you see in the media and in person these days.
"Coming on to this girl, probably quite persistently" shame on you for guessing but you are dead wrong. I came on to this woman as a fellow dog owner at the dog park, the same way I come on to men... like a friendly acquaintance... who likes dogs.
Let the thread die rather than adding this nonsense.
Honestly, I think you would have been a little better off with either asking her in person or asking her for her e-mail address before actually emailing her, even if you knew what it was from the contacts page. Even if a girl has her phone number or email on some public forum, I always ask her before contacting her through on those means. Good intentions, albeit flawed.
Now, as to her reaction; that was just rude. There is a way to turn down people, and that's not one of them. At least you tried, so dust yourself off and try with someone else.
Wait, you contacted her how? Oh no , wait , thats creepy. She might have thought of that as a breach of her privacy or perdsonal space and felt threatened. Also sometimes we get mad when we think we are trying to be friendly and it gets misconstrued as "hey buddy, go ahead try and get laid "
I always stay clear of women who don't give any signals. Problem with that is a lot of women don't give signals because they don't want to seem desperate or they may not be interested at all. Now, if she thinks it's "unladylike" to give signals, that's her loss. I will pursue women but I don't chase. There are ways to show you're interested in a guy without seeming desperate. To me, these are women who really dig guys. But in your case, this lady didn't seem to give you a green light. You made an assumption.
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