Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What does a man or woman really have to lose by asking for a phone number? Say you meet someone while out and about who seems interesting...you ask for their number and they either turn you down or never call you or never answer your calls. SO WHAT! You don't even know that person. There could be a million reasons why someone "rejects" you ranging from they're in a relationship to they're busy, they lost your number, whatever! One time I met a guy in an airport and chatted for an hour or so. At the end I said hey here's my info if you're ever in town. He never called and I didn't care. I had an hour of conversation invested in that person.
It's a chicken in the egg scenario though. How is a woman supposed to get to know a guy and build attraction to him if she doesn't find him initially attractive enough to accept a date with him?
Most women aren't as flexible and they just won't date a guy that doesn't drive them crazy below the belt on first sight.
The point that Dewdrop and I are making is that the guy puts himself in situations where he's going to get to know women anyway, through shared activities of one sort or another. After you get to know people in this way, after awhile, the woman might notice that the conversation flows easily, and there are interests in common. Because of that, she'll become more interested. The attraction in a situation like that is more based on mutual interests, ease of conversation, a growing comfort in the guy's presence, not on looks. The guy grows on her over time, because of this regular exposure to each other through a shared activity, it's not based on paging through an on-line catalogue of photos, see? It's based on getting to know a person's thoughts, interests, personality. In that way, you could think of it as more of a "stealth" approach, if you see what I mean. And it's all so low-key, because no one is asking anyone for a date, they're just gradually and naturally getting to know each other in a no-pressure situation. Then when they both decide they're seriously interested and would like to take it to the next level, that comes about in a low-risk context for the guy, because by then, he knows she's really interested, they've been talking for X number of occasions, she's been seeking his company more and more through this shared activity, whatever it is, and so he can proceed with confidence.
I am a woman, and I too agree with this 110%. I dont care how much game, swag, confidence, gift of gab..yadah yahdah..you think you have. All of that will work ONLY if the woman ALREADY finds you physically attractive. If I cant imagine myself wanting to lay in a man's arms and kiss him and stare into his eyes, or if I cant imagine him bending me over the kitchen table with my hands tied behind my back ()..then yeah..it aint happening.
Physical attraction is huge. (And that is in the eye of the beholder). That is what gets you in the door. All the other stuff such as good personality, good attitude, decent morals, etc.. etc. will be what keeps you there.
I love this. At last, an honest woman. Someone who admits that women value looks first. This post is the reason why in an ideal world, women would be the aggressors in pursuing relationships. The woman almost always decides when a relationship is going to proceed anyway. Why shouldn't she approach the guy who really catches her eyes and warms her thighs? There would be a lot less headaches and headgames which both sexes hate.
Men are far less picky. They aren't going to reject a decent woman just because she has brown eyes instead of blue or because she isn't the exact height he requires or because she's not wearing the latest style of athletic shoes.
Ladies, if you think a guy is hot, take the bull by the balls (so to speak).
The point that Dewdrop and I are making is that the guy puts himself in situations where he's going to get to know women anyway, through shared activities of one sort or another. After you get to know people in this way, after awhile, the woman might notice that the conversation flows easily, and there are interests in common. Because of that, she'll become more interested. The attraction in a situation like that is more based on mutual interests, ease of conversation, a growing comfort in the guy's presence, not on looks. The guy grows on her over time, because of this regular exposure to each other through a shared activity, it's not based on paging through an on-line catalogue of photos, see? It's based on getting to know a person's thoughts, interests, personality. In that way, you could think of it as more of a "stealth" approach, if you see what I mean. And it's all so low-key, because no one is asking anyone for a date, they're just gradually and naturally getting to know each other in a no-pressure situation. Then when they both decide they're seriously interested and would like to take it to the next level, that comes about in a low-risk context for the guy, because by then, he knows she's really interested, they've been talking for X number of occasions, she's been seeking his company more and more through this shared activity, whatever it is, and so he can proceed with confidence.
I love this. At last, an honest woman. Someone who admits that women value looks first. This post is the reason why in an ideal world, women would be the aggressors in pursuing relationships. The woman almost always decides when a relationship is going to proceed anyway. Why shouldn't she approach the guy who really catches her eyes and warms her thighs? There would be a lot less headaches and headgames which both sexes hate.
Men are far less picky. They aren't going to reject a decent woman just because she has brown eyes instead of blue or because she isn't the exact height he requires or because she's not wearing the latest style of athletic shoes.
Ladies, if you think a guy is hot, take the bull by the balls (so to speak).
SOME women admit that they value looks above all else, not ALL women are like this. For me, looks are important of course but not the end all be all for dating. I'm not going to go out with a good looking guy who can barely string a sentence together or has never heard of Carl Sagan because looks fade and the brain is what sticks around.
As for men being less picky...sure, for a quick hookup. For a relationship? Not so much. I've been told I'd make a great girlfriend but I'm simply not pretty enough to be seen with in public. Most men around my age (mid to late 20s) are looking for eye candy, they're looking for a trophy girlfriend they can show off to their friends. God I hope my 30s are better.
I love this. At last, an honest woman. Someone who admits that women value looks first. This post is the reason why in an ideal world, women would be the aggressors in pursuing relationships.
Hmmm... Perhaps some women value looks and others don't because we aren't all the same. Fancy that! Different women look for different things!
Quote:
The woman almost always decides when a relationship is going to proceed anyway. Why shouldn't she approach the guy who really catches her eyes and warms her thighs? There would be a lot less headaches and headgames which both sexes hate.
Actually - in my experience - the man has usually been the one to decide how the relationship proceeds. I would say that me and most of my friends have usually been ready for a stronger commitment sooner than the guys we were seeing - so we waited for them to catch up and let us know when they were ready.
Quote:
Men are far less picky. They aren't going to reject a decent woman just because she has brown eyes instead of blue or because she isn't the exact height he requires or because she's not wearing the latest style of athletic shoes.
Ladies, if you think a guy is hot, take the bull by the balls (so to speak).
Oh really? Have you seen the threads about guys wanting their girlfriends to lose 10 pounds? Look - PEOPLE can be picky. Some people are pickier than others. Some people aren't picky at all. But to say that men are less picky is as silly as saying that all women go for hot guys.
When I say looks are not that important - I mean it. I'm not lying. When another woman says looks are extremely important to her - she's not lying either. Different people. Different opinions.
As for the OP - in my experience, if a man is interested - yes, he will contact me. Have I contacted men before? Yes. Did it go over well? Most of the time. Have there been guys that have been interested in me that haven't contacted me? I can think of a few that told me they were interested in me much later but were too scared or shy to do anything about it. But for the most part - men that have been interested in me have made a move.
OP you're statement is dead wrong. Lots of guys might be interested but will not initiate contact for a variety of reasons.
1. Fear of being shot down.
2. Figures someone that attractive probably has a boyfriend and two waiting in the wings just in case.
3.Figures he isn't good looking enough for her, or doesn't have enough money, and so will pass.
Those are pretty much my reasons, though I'll add a #4:
4. She shows no signs of interest whatsoever.
Number 2 is the most common for me. Nearly every time I see a woman I find attractive, she's either married or has a boyfriend. Sometimes I'll see the ring, or more often than not the SO will be with her. But it never fails: if she's attractive, she'll almost certainly not be single. And if she is single, she'll show no interest in me in any way, so it doesn't matter.
I love this. At last, an honest woman. Someone who admits that women value looks first. This post is the reason why in an ideal world, women would be the aggressors in pursuing relationships. The woman almost always decides when a relationship is going to proceed anyway. Why shouldn't she approach the guy who really catches her eyes and warms her thighs? There would be a lot less headaches and headgames which both sexes hate.
Men are far less picky. They aren't going to reject a decent woman just because she has brown eyes instead of blue or because she isn't the exact height he requires or because she's not wearing the latest style of athletic shoes.
Ladies, if you think a guy is hot, take the bull by the balls (so to speak).
Well to be honest I feel both sexes are like that. ESPESCIALLY men. I really feel men are more driven by looks. I dont place looks above everything else; that is not what i meant. But if anyone tells you that physical attraction means nothing to them, they arent being honest. Some sort of physical attraction is usually what makes you look twice at that man or woman, or ask your friend "hey..whose that guy?"
I am being honest here. Im not here to be politically correct. I have to feel some sort of physical attraction to a guy. He could be the nicest guy in the world. But..if i cant look at him physically and desire him, its not gonna work. Now..understand that I said i have to be attracted to him. Doesnt mean he has to be a young Brad Pitt. The guys I have been the most wildly attracted to are middle of the road looking guys. They are decent to nice looking men, but they would not be classified as hot. But, they are attractive to me, and that is all that counts.
I dont think anyone who is married, or has a boyfriend/girlfriend, will say that they feel their SO is butt ugly. And to me, men are the worst for wanting looks. We all know men are very visually driven. Who doesnt know that. I feel men care more about looks. I think a man would rather trade up for a hotter woman if he could, while a woman would be happy with a guy who is fairly good looking. But..I probably feel that because im a woman. That's just been my experience. As far as who asks for, or gives their number.. I still want the guy to do that. Because..for me..it has worked out better if I just make it easy for the guy to ask, and let him take the lead. Even though some men on here disagree, I truly feel that a good deal of men still like to be the pursuers. I still feel if a man really wants you, and you make it easy for him, he will approach.
The point that Dewdrop and I are making is that the guy puts himself in situations where he's going to get to know women anyway, through shared activities of one sort or another. After you get to know people in this way, after awhile, the woman might notice that the conversation flows easily, and there are interests in common. Because of that, she'll become more interested. The attraction in a situation like that is more based on mutual interests, ease of conversation, a growing comfort in the guy's presence, not on looks. The guy grows on her over time, because of this regular exposure to each other through a shared activity, it's not based on paging through an on-line catalogue of photos, see? It's based on getting to know a person's thoughts, interests, personality. In that way, you could think of it as more of a "stealth" approach, if you see what I mean. And it's all so low-key, because no one is asking anyone for a date, they're just gradually and naturally getting to know each other in a no-pressure situation. Then when they both decide they're seriously interested and would like to take it to the next level, that comes about in a low-risk context for the guy, because by then, he knows she's really interested, they've been talking for X number of occasions, she's been seeking his company more and more through this shared activity, whatever it is, and so he can proceed with confidence.
I've always found non-dating group activities to be the best outlet for meeting women. Neither one is looking to date, so we can pretty much be ourselves, which is less nerve-wracking.
I personally HATE dating, but unfortunately it's a necessary evil.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
)..then yeah..it aint happening. 
