A lot of men here are accused of hating women: agree or disagree? (husbands, sex)

[Trimac20]

Without naming names...I and some other guys have been accused of hating women, or having something against women, creating threads to put them down.etc. I understand some people are a bit sensitive, but it seems that if you even make a comment that is not entirely flattering of the female sex as a whole - it could be anything, even if you take a 'feminist' viewpoint - there'll always be a few very vocal ones who shout you down, question your motives, accuse you of being bitter.

This is a totally unbiased question...I want to know if in your opinion you think that misogyny is really rife here...Or misandry, for that matter.

Sure I've seen some men who say things like women should pay for all dates, and of course there are those who say they don't like women over 25 or whatever...if you've noticed I generally don't hold those views. Of course that means nothing.

The thread I started recently - perhaps it wasn't necessary, in hindsight, to post on a forum. I still don't think I did what others accused me of, but since it could so easily get misconstrued and misunderstood, maybe I shouldn't have posted it.

Anyway...I do think some men here are a little bitter about the way things are - and so are women - and at the risk of sounding like a broken record I think on CD at least men are just 'called out' for it way more, because historically men were the main propogators of sexism. At least that's what I and others were taught. So like being a white person, men have a lot of guilt to deal with. Of course few will actually acknowledge this.

Some women here see sexism in everything, so if I question anything about women I can expect to be attacked in the same old manner. Some are fairly decent people, it's just maybe there's too much of the 'battle of the sexes' here. I honestly think just reading topics on here is responsible for making me more gender conscious than I ever was. Because like others have observed, I need to get off the computer and stop posting so much.

So from now on I will post fewer topics - but if I think something is worth posting I will post it, regardless of if it offends or if it's not 'PC.' My intentions are to make people think, but sometimes, I suppose my own opinions and stuff get mixed in there sometimes.

It would be good to get an honest, civil debate without this turning into yet another bun-fight. Hopefully everyone can come up with a discourse, and get to the bottom of what they really believe, whether they really are woman/man-haters or not. I am just a bit tired of people throwing around these labels here.

PS: I can see how this thread might be seen as gender bashing. If the mods let this thread pass please don't start attacking either gender. Try to be objective or thoughtful.

[Ruth4Truth]

i don't know about "hating women", but is there bitterness? Definitely. On both sides. And a lot of misconceptions about women. Sad that people's lives have worked out in such a way as to cause anger, bitterness, and a clinging to negativity.

[Trimac20]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

i don't know about "hating women", but is there bitterness? Definitely. On both sides. And a lot of misconceptions about women. Sad that people's lives have worked out in such a way as to cause anger, bitterness, and a clinging to negativity.

I agree. I don't deny there is bitterness on both sides. It just seems I'm always hearing the men being complained of being bitter losers and stuff...I don't want to start a war, especially not a gender war. So hopefully people who ASSUME things about people and get off by calling them bitter losers or failures will stop. If it's really the case, then that's a different thing, but I just feel some have assumed things unfairly about me. But I shouldn't take it to heart.

[BradPiff]

Ehh it's shaming language for the most part.

[Rhenzanite]

I think it's the way things are said. You can say 'I prefer women who are under 25 because they are youthful and fun' or you can say 'women over 25 are worthless and past their prime'. See how different they sound?

I think a lot of men here focus on the negatives and rarely espouse any positives and the way they say things can be thought of as mean for no real reason. How often do you hear a guy say something genuinely nice about women (except for the ubiquitous 'her ass is amazing')? Rarely. It's mostly just people picking women apart and trying to make them feel bad for things OTHER women may or may not have done.

I hear the women on here saying nice things about their husbands all the time, but the only nice things I hear men talk about is how 'hot' their SO is. It gets old.

[Urban Sasquatch]

What I see in here with regard to the woman-haters (alleged) is a lot of guys who are generally unfulfilled where interaction with the opposite sex is concerned.

Sometimes it's stuff which has bothered me in the past, so I can understand it. Other times it's stuff which I've considered and discarded, so while I understand where it comes from, I figure I can try to explain -- and either they'll listen or not.

And sometimes it's just bitter, raving nonsense. They're angry and rather than stop and really think through WHAT they're saying or actually stop to look at the other side of any given question, they prefer to vent, fume and remain embittered.

And that's their choice. Life throws us some major curves but in the end YOU can decided whether to go through it feeling like hammered $#!+ or like a real person.


By the same token, I see a lot of bitter WOMEN in here, fuming the same things "everybody KNOWS" about men, bemoaning their own sorry lot as it has been dictated by evil menz, tarnished by evil menz, doled out by (you guessed it) evil menz...

One thing I'll totally agree with which Tarmac said, some women here see sexism in everything -- just like some of the men.

Sometimes it's absolutely impossible to explore a given topic which creates difficulty for one side because someone from the OTHER side (and why there are "SIDES" to something which isn't even a debate, let alone a WAR, I'll never fathom) wants to shout "You think YOU'VE got it tough? Let me tell you, WE'RE the ones who have it TOUGH! Here's why: ..."


I used to get really bent about some of this stuff. Sometimes there are things which still rub me the wrong way, BUT these days I just drop the matter as best I can, switch to another topic, switch to another forum, switch to another website, go outside and get on my tractor -- anything but continue in the controversial vein, because regardless of what else may or may not be true in these forums and regardless of how any given subject may or may not make me feel or think...

...in the end you all are a bunch of strangers living elsewhere. I don't know you, we don't actually affect one another's lives, you're not even a VOICE; just a bunch of words on a cyber-gathering, things to read which I can choose to take to heart or discard.

And I'm not about to lose sleep, sitting up late into the night fuming because I can't go to bed yet; someone on the Internet is WRONG!

*click* -- problem solved.

[the_windwalker]

I was not born hating women. After all, my mother was one. So, anything resembling "hate" would have come from life experience. That would make it a product of the women themselves. It means that if they're going to say that I hate women, they only have themselves to blame.

[findly185]

There are an equal amount of man-hating women offenders as there are women-hating men on these boards.

[TabulaRasa]

People who like to endlessly spout negativity and bitterness are common fixtures on messageboards. It's just the way it is. It's an avenue to complain, and complainers will always seek those out.

Sometimes I'll argue if I just happen to be in the mood to debate or feel strongly about something that interests me, but more often than not, I'll just close out of the window. It's crazy to lose sleep over what some nameless faceless person posts on a public forum, and most people's opinions don't hold much water with me, anyway...particularly if I don't even know them or anything about them.

[Trimac20]

Originally Posted by JetJockey

I think it's the way things are said. You can say 'I prefer women who are under 25 because they are youthful and fun' or you can say 'women over 25 are worthless and past their prime'. See how different they sound?

I think a lot of men here focus on the negatives and rarely espouse any positives and the way they say things can be thought of as mean for no real reason. How often do you hear a guy say something genuinely nice about women (except for the ubiquitous 'her ass is amazing')? Rarely. It's mostly just people picking women apart and trying to make them feel bad for things OTHER women may or may not have done.

I hear the women on here saying nice things about their husbands all the time, but the only nice things I hear men talk about is how 'hot' their SO is. It gets old.

Well yes, it's quite a strong opinion - but I suppose this forum does allow free speech after all. I of course vehemently disagree with the premise that 'women above 25 are past their prime' but perhaps, although I don't recall, the OP was actually highlighting a societal standard instead of putting down women?

There are some women who constantly moan about men too, and I will say they are also called out for it. But then there are some things which all women seem to agree on, which when turned around would be considered 'bashing.'

Well maybe it's the people you hang out with. I hear it quite often. But then I don't hang out with shallow PUA types. I generally hang out with guys who care about women as people, and I would like to think I do too.