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Fascinating...please understand, I'm not trying to criticize OP in any way whatsoever, but doesn't the quote above somewhat contradict the earlier dismissal of PUA's, etc. in the original post?
"Wuss" is a totally loaded word, IMO, reminiscent of PUA-101. Who decides what is a "wuss", exactly? Women? Other men? Is a wuss supposed to be the same thing as a non-traditionally masculine man? Is a metros*xual for example the same as a wuss? Let's take it one step further...are men who are not naturally "Type A" also wusses? Are men who are naturally shy or socially inhibited automatically wusses? Are men, through no fault of their own, with conditions like social anxiety disorder, avoidant personality disorder, and the like, wusses too, by default? It is all extremely cruel and unforgiving, if you think about it. For that matter, can we fairly define a "female wuss" stereotype as well, or does that honor apply only to males? (Somehow I doubt that one could ever truly come up with a workable "female wuss" archetype, though, b/c none of the attributes directly applicable to male "wussiness" such as shyness, etc., are seen as a defect in women...)
The one basic thing that has almost entirely turned me off from PUA's such as DeAngelo, etc., is that they *cannot* and *will not* ever be able to teach a man to be able to make a woman **fall 100% in love with him**. Yes, they can teach him how to get her in the bedroom, maybe...I'll give them that...but real, true, genuine love? Not a chance in H*ll (please excuse my French, lol)...and you can take that to the bank...
PUA philosophy creates a self-fulfilling prophecy where pre-conditioned gender stereotypes are rigidly and unforgivingly reinforced. Can you imagine how much of a fortune dating advisers could make if they could ever actually find a guaranteed PUA-style technique to make a woman fall in love with a so-called "wuss"? They would would likely make billions, but that will never happen...why? Because of intentional societal conditioning of both males and females, that (brutally and unjustly) equates genuine kindness, gentleness, and tender loving softness and compassion in a human male with weakness, dismissal, and universal contempt. And there is a specific reason, IMO, why society does this...dig deeper, beneath the surface...dare to think, outside the box. (The reason why society has decreed this as an absolute is quite simple, really...)
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 05-13-2012 at 04:27 PM..
Reason: Corrected typos
Why do guys on C-D have such a hard time believing that women want nice guys.?
Because of this...
Sometimes when a guy only has one pic posted on his profile or they're just low quality pics and I can't really tell what he looks like, I'll ask for additional pics. If I don't like them, I just don't respond anymore. I think that's better than saying, "Sorry, on closer inspection it turns out that I'm actually not attracted to you, but best of luck."
And because of this...
an average/not great looking guy would have a shot with me out in real life if we met and hit it off. But when I see unattractive pictures of a guy, it just doesn't make me want to go out of my way to meet the guy. I know it's shallow
Both recent quotes from this forum and both mentalities would be quite the norm for women. Obviously, a nice guy, and a smart, cool person are not at the top of your priorities when that is your mentality.
I'm an older guy, and as such I don't deny there are women like you out there. But I have seen many more who play the 'best they can get' rat race game...
They eventually might get the girl, but now she's past her prime with kids.
The "bad boy" had her at her peak, and he didn't have to put a ring on it
Right again.
It's a lot easier to take someone's onset of wrinkles, crows feet and some gray hair when you've been with them the whole time and you have kids in common; that is, if you have kids. Sure, you have a few guys who will seek "greener pastures," but most couples just grow old together. Cheating, and all that goes with that, is WORK...and I'd be too lazy.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 05-13-2012 at 04:34 PM..
You don't need to spend so much time and effort entertaining women if you settle for "ordinary" in her. Most young guys seem to want a beautiful trophy wife and get upset if they have to jump through hoops to get her. Just go for the plain woman whose eyes light up when she sees you walk in the door.
Is this the problem with some of the threads about women being over-the-hill at 26, "cute" being 2nd rate, etc.? Is it an age thing? The guys I knew in college and after (who were pretty cute themselves) didn't expect trophy girlfriends. Where does this mentality come from? Massive ego?
Why do guys on C-D have such a hard time believing that women want nice guys.?
They can't accept the fact that their flawed.
Thats what it boils down too.
Instead of saying gee maybe thee reason why women don't me is because I'm either a slob, no personality, fat, loser.
They use the nice guy COP OUT.
I use to sympathize with guys like this. I actually use to be one of those guys until I was woken up.
The thing is guys don't want to look in the mirror and think there the problem.
Instead they blame THEIR SHORTCOMMINGS on women instead of taking responsibility for their weaknesses.
Some poster try to say why should a guy have to improve yourself to impress women.
Of course you have to improve yourself to impress women!
So let me geuss a guy who has a beer belly with flabby arms and cigeratte breath with yellow teeth is going to score a chick like this
LMAO....THEY THINK THEIR ENTITLED TO THESE TYPE OF WOMEN WITHOUT PUTTING ANYWORK IN THEMSELVES..
IT'S HYSTERICAL..
These so called "nice guys" which are nothing but lazy, no personality, doormats who think they are entitled to women because they pretend to be chivalrous when in reality.
Is this the problem with some of the threads about women being over-the-hill at 26, "cute" being 2nd rate, etc.? Is it an age thing? The guys I knew in college and after (who were pretty cute themselves) didn't expect trophy girlfriends. Where does this mentality come from? Massive ego?
I've never called any woman I've been interested in throughout my life nd rate or over-the-hill, but I sure as hell been called 2nd choice, 3rd choice, and a "safe pick" because I'm humble and I'm a pretty nice person.
Fascinating...please understand, I'm not trying to criticize OP in any way whatsoever, but doesn't the quote above somewhat contradict the earlier dismissal of PUA's, etc. in the original post?
"Wuss" is a totally loaded word, IMO, reminiscent of PUA-101. Who decides what is a "wuss", exactly? Women? Other men? Is a wuss supposed to be the same thing as a non-traditionally masculine man? Is a metros*xual for example the same as a wuss? Let's take it one step further...are men who are not naturally "Type A" also wusses? Are men who are naturally shy or socially inhibited automatically wusses? Are men, through no fault of their own, with conditions like social anxiety disorder, avoidant personality disorder, and the like, wusses too, by default? It is all extremely cruel and unforgiving, if you think about it. For that matter, can we fairly define a "female wuss" stereotype as well, or does that honor apply only to males? (Somehow I doubt that one could ever truly come up with a workable "female wuss" archetype, though, b/c none of the attributes directly applicable to male "wussiness" such as shyness, etc., are seen as a defect in women...)
The one basic thing that has almost entirely turned me off from PUA's such as DeAngelo, etc., is that they *cannot* and *will not* ever be able to teach a man to be able to make a woman **fall 100% in love with him**. Yes, they can teach him how to get her in the bedroom, maybe...I'll give them that...but real, true, genuine love? Not a chance in H*ll (please excuse my French, lol)...and you can take that to the bank...
PUA philosophy creates a self-fulfilling prophecy where pre-conditioned gender stereotypes are rigidly and unforgivingly reinforced. Can you imagine how much of a fortune dating advisers could make if they could ever actually find a guaranteed PUA-style technique to make a woman fall in love with a so-called "wuss"? They would would likely make billions, but that will never happen...why? Because of intentional societal conditioning of both males and females, that (brutally and unjustly) equates genuine kindness, gentleness, and tender loving softness and compassion in a human male with weakness, dismissal, and universal contempt. And there is a specific reason, IMO, why society does this...dig deeper, beneath the surface...dare to think, outside the box. (The reason why society has decreed this as an absolute is quite simple, really...)
I think you over analyzed it a bit. A wuss someone who's a doormat or gets taken advantage of on a constant basis.
Because of this...
Sometimes when a guy only has one pic posted on his profile or they're just low quality pics and I can't really tell what he looks like, I'll ask for additional pics. If I don't like them, I just don't respond anymore. I think that's better than saying, "Sorry, on closer inspection it turns out that I'm actually not attracted to you, but best of luck."
And because of this...
an average/not great looking guy would have a shot with me out in real life if we met and hit it off. But when I see unattractive pictures of a guy, it just doesn't make me want to go out of my way to meet the guy. I know it's shallow
Both recent quotes from this forum and both mentalities would be quite the norm for women. Obviously, a nice guy, and a smart, cool person are not at the top of your priorities when that is your mentality.
I'm an older guy, and as such I don't deny there are women like you out there. But I have seen many more who play the 'best they can get' rat race game...
Wow...
How in anyway is this bad???
Men judge women solely off of looks and women do the same and now their shallow??
Honestly I'm usually on the male's side when it comes to dating but this thread is filled with a bunch of b.s. double standards, biasness, and whining.
In my first OP. I addressed that already. I didn't make it up. Those were my experiences and what has gotten me attention from women.
You have to make yourself as appealing as possible physically.
All your doing is reiterating the problem.
"women are superficial because they want attractive men."
Make yourself attractive.
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