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I am amazed at the number of threads by men who seem downright angry at having to pay for dates--even first dates!
And usually, it doesn't seem to be about money. Rarely do the men who post these threads tell horror stories about being expected to fork out enormous sums. To most of them, it seems to be more a matter of principle. Having to spend money on women just seems to infuriate them, even when THEY asked for the date in the first place.
I am amazed at the number of threads by men who seem downright angry at having to pay for dates--even first dates!
And usually, it doesn't seem to be about money. Rarely do the men who post these threads tell horror stories about being expected to fork out enormous sums. To most of them, it seems to be more a matter of principle. Having to spend money on women just seems to infuriate them, even when THEY asked for the date in the first place.
What gives with that?
I don't know - but I really don't think it's that common. In real life, I've never heard any of my male or female friends even talk about who paid for dates. I don't think it's really an issue for most people. I think that for a lot of people on here dating in general is hard - so they find things to flip out about. I'm not sure it's really even a problem for the majority of the people who are complaining about it - I think it's mostly hypothetical.
I think this is mostly a new age thing. And logically it doesnt make sense really: If both parties make their own money, and they equally care about one another, how did we arrive at the conclusion that only one party is expected to shell out money on the other? It would make sense if either party simply preferred to spend money on the other, or if one party didnt have money, but its silly to hold on to these outdated archaic expectations if both parties have their own money. Its selective traditionalism at its core, in my opinion.
I am amazed at the number of threads by men who seem downright angry at having to pay for dates--even first dates!
And usually, it doesn't seem to be about money. Rarely do the men who post these threads tell horror stories about being expected to fork out enormous sums. To most of them, it seems to be more a matter of principle. Having to spend money on women just seems to infuriate them, even when THEY asked for the date in the first place.
What gives with that?
Probably because a lot of women are making as much or even more money than many men make now. Historically, men had all the jobs, and made all of the money. Now, a lot of women are doing well financially, but still want men to pay for everything. Basically, men are upset that this outdated social norm is still in effect in these modern times. Old traditions are hard to break. Even if she did offer to pay on the date, the waiter/waitress is going to hand the bill to the man. The expectation is for the man to pay.
I don't know - but I really don't think it's that common. In real life, I've never heard any of my male or female friends even talk about who paid for dates. I don't think it's really an issue for most people. I think that for a lot of people on here dating in general is hard - so they find things to flip out about. I'm not sure it's really even a problem for the majority of the people who are complaining about it - I think it's mostly hypothetical.
Well, feminism is all about equality - I think guys who resent that women are now equals also resent that this vestige of chivalry hasn't died away. I wouldn't mind just splitting the check each time, and I offer every time. When I date someone over the long term, expenses are generally split 50-50.
One guy let me pick up the tab on our fourth date, and I appreciated that. I could tell it took some reining in of impulses, but I pointed out he'd paid for the first three dates (though the third was more of just a meet and chat with no real expense) and I'd actually planned this date.
Who said dates have to involve money? If guys are shelling out a lot of money on dates, they only have themselves to blame.
And what about the women who would rather pay their own way, because some guys tend to think they can buy sex by paying for dinner? What about the casual coffee date as a first date? There are so many alternatives to the classic dinner-and-entertainment date. I think TV and those dating shows are to blame for perpetuating a highly traditional view of dating.
btw, I've never been to a restaurant meal with a guy (except my dad, ha), where the waitress handed the bill to the guy. They only do that if it's obvious that the guy is in charge, like if the woman's really passive and lets the guy order. If the woman orders her meal and asks questions about the menu, and all that, the waitress puts the bill down in-between the man and the woman, on neutral ground.
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