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OP, not to sound callous but I doubt the kid will remember you down the road since he's only 4 and it's only been 6 months. Kids don't remember much from that age. Your boyfriend may be sad though.
Was he sweet because he really liked you, or was he being sweet because he was looking for another mom for his child? You figure, you're saving him a lot of money if he works 15 hour days opposed to having to put his kid in daycare.
I'd like to think because he really liked me. But, it may have been just to reel me in. He was in daycare while I was working and it was my idea to quit my job and take him out. And he was okay with it. But he is always telling me he appreciates everything I do and that I am so good with him and tells me that I don't have to do everything because he is HIS responsibility. And I tell him no I want to do it because I enjoy it. And I do enjoy it. But when he says things like that it makes me feel that he is not using me but it could be to throw me off. But anytime I have just needed to take a break, he has always took him to work with him or took care of what was needed at the time and didnt complain about it. Just a "okay sweetie" and a kiss on the forehead.
OP, not to sound callous but I doubt the kid will remember you down the road since he's only 4 and it's only been 6 months. Kids don't remember much from that age. Your boyfriend may be sad though.
Yeah, everyone has been saying that. and I really hope he won't remember. It makes me feel better to know he won't hurt over it.
Breaking it off is the best thing. Everyone deserves to be loved, not just tolerated. The child will have a hard time, you're right about that. That is the reason many professionals warn against involving a girlfriend/boyfriend w/ your children, to avoid confusion for them. It can't be helped...You don't love his father, and they are a package deal. You could perhaps offer to stay in touch w/ this person and their child, to make the transition a bit easier. I would recommend that you take time off for at least a year before dating etc. This man was likely a rebound, and you've done a great disservice to him and his lil guy. That can't be helped now, but make it as easy as possible to transition...if you can provide some child care when he works and you aren't then that may help him....but make sure it is what you want. Take this time to figure yourself out, you are very young...a long relationship, then right into the one with this man....Stop...take time to figure out YOU!. This is a lesson learned. Keep us updated.
I agree with what others are saying, and I also point out that you are ruining your life by staying with this man. He shacked up with you with his kid when he barely knows you, which means your relationship has no foundation. It isnt going to last and of course you know that. But what is even worse is that you arent working and you arent in school. You arent building a life for YOURSELF and he has no problem with that. I would have no problem with a gal becoming a housewife at such a young age, but you arent that. You are wasting valuable time that should be spent bettering yourself.
Breaking it off is the best thing. Everyone deserves to be loved, not just tolerated. The child will have a hard time, you're right about that. That is the reason many professionals warn against involving a girlfriend/boyfriend w/ your children, to avoid confusion for them. It can't be helped...You don't love his father, and they are a package deal. You could perhaps offer to stay in touch w/ this person and their child, to make the transition a bit easier. I would recommend that you take time off for at least a year before dating etc. This man was likely a rebound, and you've done a great disservice to him and his lil guy. That can't be helped now, but make it as easy as possible to transition...if you can provide some child care when he works and you aren't then that may help him....but make sure it is what you want. Take this time to figure yourself out, you are very young...a long relationship, then right into the one with this man....Stop...take time to figure out YOU!. This is a lesson learned. Keep us updated.
Well, obviously, I didn't enter the relationship only to break it off 8 months later. It was never my intentions. and I feel so much guilt for doing it. I don't plan on another relationship for awhile. They don't seem to do any good for me right now. Focusing on making myself happy, and my education for now.
19 years old is too young to be trapped into being a step-mom. I feel sorry for the kid but it's his fathers fault for allowing you to move in and become the substitute mommy. You're 19! Plenty of time to be tied down later on in life. You're bored because you're supposed to be exploring the direction you want your life to go and hanging out with your peers. 19 years old and spending 14-15 hours a day taking care of someone else's kid? Do you have parents? Friends? What do they think about this?
How old is this man? Sounds like he wanted a youngin' he could train up to be his child's 2nd mommy. Guess he didn't consider that you might want to have a life of your own.
I say get out now.
Don't be so quick to blame it all on the man. I realize she is a woman and only 19 years old, but that is no excuse for being stupid. Don't you think just maybe she had a say in moving in with this guy? Don't you think she knows even a little bit about human nature and was also looking for a roll in the hay? I agree some of the fault is the man's, he should have known he was getting involved with someone who was just lonely and looking for a place to land...
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I can leave him, but I can't leave his son
