Do people have an unrealistic view of their own attractiveness? (women, single)
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It continues to surprise me how many people just have no clue about their own attractiveness. It's not the majority, i wouldn't say, but it's a sizable minority. Two trends i notice:
Average-looking women who think they are God's Gift to men. I don't know if it's feminism or some other phenomenon, but more and more women of modest looks are extremely arrogant, demanding, picky, and superficial. As i've said in other threads, when average-looking women shoot me down, they tend to be flat-out mean. Very harsh words. Like they WANT to hurt men. Maybe i'm a scapegoat for some other man who looked her over in the past... i don't know. But they seem to go out of their way to destroy your self-esteem and make you insecure, as if they enjoy hurting you. Literally, yesterday, an average looking woman wrote me an email message response telling me in great detail what a loser she thinks i am. I really think she ENJOYED crushing my self esteem.
Also, i am noticing a number of extremely attractive women who have no idea how good looking they are. They think they are average-looking. They actually get surprised that you find them so attractive. Maybe inside, they realize they are attractive, and they are just being modest and humble. But it is surprising how many extremely attractive women seem oblivious to their ability to attract any man they want. Of course, these women are rarely single, because what guy doesn't want to be with an extremely attractive woman who is also down to earth? Whenever extremely attractive women shoot you down, they usually give you a simple "i'm taken but thanks for asking" or something else relatively polite, and move on. It still hurts, but it's not quite as scathing.
These trends apply to men as well, but in a different way. Guys going for women in different leagues. This is where you have the 350-lb old guy going for supermodels, and wondering why he is having trouble. On the flip side are very good-looking guys who go through dry spells where they can't get an average-looking woman. Most guys, even the better-looking ones, go through at least one extended dry spell over their lifetime.
So does anyone else notice these trends? A lot of people just have no perspective, for better or for worse, on their own attractiveness.
Average-looking women who think they are God's Gift to men. I don't know if it's feminism or some other phenomenon, but more and more women of modest looks are extremely arrogant, demanding, picky, and superficial. As i've said in other threads, when average-looking women shoot me down, they tend to be flat-out mean. Very harsh words. Like they WANT to hurt men. Maybe i'm a scapegoat for some other man who looked her over in the past... i don't know. But they seem to go out of their way to destroy your self-esteem and make you insecure, as if they enjoy hurting you. Literally, yesterday, an average looking woman wrote me an email message response telling me in great detail what a loser she thinks i am. I really think she ENJOYED crushing my self esteem.
If a woman isn't particularly welcoming when a man approaches, it doesn't mean that she thinks she's gorgeous. All it means is that regardless of how "average" someone may think she is, she's still not willing to settle for that particular man and maybe she has good reason not to.
I don't give it much thought. At the end of the day - the only person that is going to suffer is themselves. If a Roseanne Barr look alike is holding out for a George Clooney look alike - then she's going to be waiting a really long time. But hey - if she thinks she's all that and she feels really good about herself - who am I to tell her that she's ugly?
I think most people actually think less of themselves than what they really are. Just look at all the people with eating disorders and body image issues; women and men as well.
Like jade408 said, attractiveness isn't universal so to point out the personality differences of "average" looking women vs "extremely attractive" women doesn't hold much water. This "average" hypothetical woman that you're talking about is more than likely the most beautiful woman on the face of the planet to some people.
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