Do people have an unrealistic view of their own attractiveness? (personality, beautiful)
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I was wondering that, too. I can't imagine that a friendly woman who is giving a guy a "come talk to me" look is going to respond to a sincere, "hi, I'm <name>" with "OMG get the F out of my face you creep." Maybe it is her, but maybe it's him or it's both of them. We can't help if OP's just going to be vague and play the victim.
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Originally Posted by Djuna
And then have the audacity to blame feminism for it. The common denominator is you. There is obviously something repugnant about someone who gets that kind of response from the opposite sex.
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Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
They blame feminism because in the past men who were lacking in looks could use their paychecks to lure women. Now with women making their own money these guys realize that yes many women judge on looks or something else they don't possess and they get angry.
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Originally Posted by xxbabeechick
I agree with the OP.
Part of the problem is the cult of "self esteem". People are so obsessed with the idea that others may think that they have self esteem they feel forced into maintaining a sense of delusion about their looks and abilities.
Psychologists have actually studied this and found out that people with "average" self esteem overestimate their level of attractiveness and abilities (as measured by others).
They discovered people with mild depression are most accurate in estimating about their level of attractiveness and abilities.
Yea, that's called the above average affect and the vast majority fall under that umbrella. I think mild depression may be a natural state for the aware and intelligent, so that makes sense.
I was wondering that, too. I can't imagine that a friendly woman who is giving a guy a "come talk to me" look is going to respond to a sincere, "hi, I'm <name>" with "OMG get the F out of my face you creep." Maybe it is her, but maybe it's him or it's both of them. We can't help if OP's just going to be vague and play the victim.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna
And then have the audacity to blame feminism for it. The common denominator is you. There is obviously something repugnant about someone who gets that kind of response from the opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
They blame feminism because in the past men who were lacking in looks could use their paychecks to lure women. Now with women making their own money these guys realize that yes many women judge on looks or something else they don't possess and they get angry.
Weird. I responded to these posts but it didn't take. And now I double posted. Eh, I'm on my phone
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick
I agree with the OP.
Part of the problem is the cult of "self esteem". People are so obsessed with the idea that others may think that they have self esteem they feel forced into maintaining a sense of delusion about their looks and abilities.
Psychologists have actually studied this and found out that people with "average" self esteem overestimate their level of attractiveness and abilities (as measured by others).
They discovered people with mild depression are most accurate in estimating about their level of attractiveness and abilities.
Yea, that's called the above average affect and the vast majority fall under that umbrella. I think mild depression may be a natural state for the aware and intelligent, so that makes sense.
Yea, that's called the above average affect and the vast majority fall under that umbrella. I think mild depression may be a natural state for the aware and intelligent, so that makes sense.
I was wondering that, too. I can't imagine that a friendly woman who is giving a guy a "come talk to me" look is going to respond to a sincere, "hi, I'm <name>" with "OMG get the F out of my face you creep." Maybe it is her, but maybe it's him or it's both of them. We can't help if OP's just going to be vague and play the victim.
I've never been rude to a man who is interested unless he is rude to me directly or indirectly. By rude I mean he either makes comments about other women like "you are hot compared to these fat women" or rude to me like "boy are you ugly" or "you're hot wanna go and have sex?". If a guy is interested and is polite but I am not interested I will be polite back.
Well going by that logic, since I have sever depressive disorder, I should be a bloody genius.
*Cracks open a calculus textbook.*
Damnit.
I know you're kidding, but the operative word is mild and I imagine it would be more in line with compassion over the suffering of others, the state of the world, etc. Although, I haven't read these studies so who knows.
But what if a gorgeous woman turned you down as rudely as you said average women do. Would you still be so willing to get over it?
Nope. Not at all. I don't think anyone should be rude or mean. It's disgusting the way some people treat others. I would be flattered if someone gave me attention even if i did not find her attractive.
I know exactly what you're talking about here. I was the ugly girl in school--boys used to tell me that all the time and I had pimples and braces and dorky clothes, but seemingly overnight things changed and I got my braces off at the same time my complexion was clearing and I got a job so I could buy my own clothes and the first few times I got asked out I thought it was a joke and practically spit in their face--I had visions of the movie Carrie going thru my head I think.
But then I realized that all those boys were not joking and I had some fun the next few years though I certainly could have used some parental guidance. One thing I was not was mean to boys b/c I knew how it had felt to me.
I don't know how many folks are misguided about their looks but I've heard several people say, and quite sincerely, that they know they look younger than their age and the fact is that none of them do. Not really. I know one guy whose age I never would have guessed but he didn't say he thinks he looks younger. Me? I've been mistaken for 10 years up and 10 years down so I'm pretty humble about it and I figure I look my age.
Ugly duckling syndrome. Did you ever hear of that? Look it up... women like you are some of the best in the world.
Anyway, i got picked on a lot when i was younger too. Sorry you had to go through that. Just makes me want to go back in time and beat these knuckleheads up for you. I definitely learned some lessons about how NOT to treat people from my experiences.
But if its a choice between who overrates their looks more its easily women
No. No way.
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