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I said I can see you are intimidated by me and he said he was because why would someone like me want to date him. I said I am interested and there is nothing to worry about. He then smiled and said I'll talk to you when we see this weekend.
I know exactly what you're talking about here. I was the ugly girl in school--boys used to tell me that all the time and I had pimples and braces and dorky clothes, but seemingly overnight things changed and I got my braces off at the same time my complexion was clearing and I got a job so I could buy my own clothes and the first few times I got asked out I thought it was a joke and practically spit in their face--I had visions of the movie Carrie going thru my head I think.
But then I realized that all those boys were not joking and I had some fun the next few years though I certainly could have used some parental guidance. One thing I was not was mean to boys b/c I knew how it had felt to me.
I don't know how many folks are misguided about their looks but I've heard several people say, and quite sincerely, that they know they look younger than their age and the fact is that none of them do. Not really. I know one guy whose age I never would have guessed but he didn't say he thinks he looks younger. Me? I've been mistaken for 10 years up and 10 years down so I'm pretty humble about it and I figure I look my age.
As I'm aging, I am consistently assumed to be 10 -20 years younger than my actual age.
I should be flattered but it seriously gets annoying when every second person feels they have to comment on it. I don't comment on their appearance.
I was at the hospital the other week and even the doctor double checked my date of birth and said "wow".
Part of the problem is the cult of "self esteem". People are so obsessed with the idea that others may think that they have self esteem they feel forced into maintaining a sense of delusion about their looks and abilities.
Psychologists have actually studied this and found out that people with "average" self esteem overestimate their level of attractiveness and abilities (as measured by others).
They discovered people with mild depression are most accurate in estimating about their level of attractiveness and abilities.
I know exactly what you're talking about here. I was the ugly girl in school--boys used to tell me that all the time and I had pimples and braces and dorky clothes, but seemingly overnight things changed and I got my braces off at the same time my complexion was clearing and I got a job so I could buy my own clothes and the first few times I got asked out I thought it was a joke and practically spit in their face--I had visions of the movie Carrie going thru my head I think.
But then I realized that all those boys were not joking and I had some fun the next few years though I certainly could have used some parental guidance. One thing I was not was mean to boys b/c I knew how it had felt to me.
I don't know how many folks are misguided about their looks but I've heard several people say, and quite sincerely, that they know they look younger than their age and the fact is that none of them do. Not really. I know one guy whose age I never would have guessed but he didn't say he thinks he looks younger. Me? I've been mistaken for 10 years up and 10 years down so I'm pretty humble about it and I figure I look my age.
I was teased when I was younger and thought I was hideously ugly and fat. I think because of that - I will never make someone feel bad about what they look like. I've struggled with body image issues my whole life and I'd rather see an obese woman or man like themselves and feel good about themselves than hate themselves.
I know I'm not that great looking, so I always wonder why guys would be attracted to me. The first thing that crosses my mind is that he is not interested in a relationship with an ugly female like myself and that he is just using me for sex. I never put my hand up and volunteered to be called ugly and I refuse to be treated that way. I guess alot of average females are constantly on their guard like myself always thinking that a guy wants one thing from them. Maybe why they are so mean to you.
I was teased when I was younger and thought I was hideously ugly and fat. I think because of that - I will never make someone feel bad about what they look like. I've struggled with body image issues my whole life and I'd rather see an obese woman or man like themselves and feel good about themselves than hate themselves.
One of my parents was the worst offender. This is the one that bullied me the most, calling me fat boy. This parent made it a point to tell me that I was a fat slob. (From 4 until about 12 years old when I lost my first set of pounds)
I often play myself out to think that I'm really good looking on these boards, but I do know that I am not at my best. I do believe that once I reach my desired level, I will feel a lot less insecure.
I'm the same way, I like people to feel good about themselves. I don't want it to be at the expense of others.
I know I'm not that great looking, so I always wonder why guys would be attracted to me. The first thing that crosses my mind is that he is not interested in a relationship with an ugly female like myself and that he is just using me for sex. I never put my hand up and volunteered to be called ugly and I refuse to be treated that way. I guess alot of average females are constantly on their guard like myself always thinking that a guy wants one thing from them. Maybe why they are so mean to you.
Many average women still get hurt at the end, finds out he is with some one else, he left you with a baby in your tummy. But yes many average women are on guard. Plenty of average women become a mess eventually and a decent guy has to swoop in and do clean up work! Not me.
Its possible a guy not to be attracted to a woman who is none attractive maybe she has a great heart, nice in a certain way, a great entertainer or speaker or a care giver or is probably great at certain sex acts, even book smart. Plenty of guys fall into traps when they are with attractive women and even more so with average women with highly enflated egos. Dont worry you be on guard when looking for aman, a nice man out of the peninetentary will make a good mate for many women with average attractiveness here in America.
I think it's more that feminism took away one of our advantages. Because women have an inate biology advantage as far as sex due to more sperm, fewer eggs. So traditionally men had a financial advantage while women had a sexual advantage. Now that women are in many cases making even more money then men, the male population is really in trouble. Women can get away with being much more demanding, due to use being even financially, whereas women continue to have a huge advantage sexually.
Even thouogh feminism is part of the problem especially when women are in their 20s and to a lesser extent 30s. Only time will tell when women might have to just settle down. Even thouogh feminism is part of the problem for you it could have been worse if you had a serious relationship with a woman and it went downhill. Divorce, Alimony, Child Support, even if she was your ex gf, child support payments, child support payments, child support payments. Just count your blessing ipfan, the right woman will come along!
Many average women still get hurt at the end, finds out he is with some one else, he left you with a baby in your tummy. But yes many average women are on guard. Plenty of average women become a mess eventually and a decent guy has to swoop in and do clean up work! Not me.
Its possible a guy not to be attracted to a woman who is none attractive maybe she has a great heart, nice in a certain way, a great entertainer or speaker or a care giver or is probably great at certain sex acts, even book smart. Plenty of guys fall into traps when they are with attractive women and even more so with average women with highly enflated egos. Dont worry you be on guard when looking for aman, a nice man out of the peninetentary will make a good mate for many women with average attractiveness here in America.
Huh? Plenty of gorgeous women in America get dumped all the time. For proof, just read the covers of all the mags in the supermarket line. Not sure about the bit about men in the penitentiary being a good mate for average women? That's just a weird thing to say--do you even know what the word *average* means?
I think it's more that feminism took away one of our advantages.
So men like you are crying into their wheaties
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