Do people have an unrealistic view of their own attractiveness?
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No - I'm talking about a level of caring. A man doesn't care about a woman he met at a bar and bedded that same night. A woman doesn't care about a guy that hits on her in a bar. A man has a chance at caring about a woman who he goes out with a few times and spends some time with before either sleeping with her or moving on. A woman has a chance at caring about a man who she actually spends some time getting to know with out the pressure of being obviously hit on. My point was that my girlfriends shouldn't feel like there is something wrong with them if their one night stand doesn't call her the next day because he doesn't know her well enough to feel like he should call her. And a guy shouldn't feel bad if a woman doesn't accept his advances at a bar because she doesn't know him well enough to feel like she should accept his advances.
Maybe I'm not making sense... But it makes sense to me!
I guess.
I've never been in that part of the game. Just on the peripheral.
I believe the biggest problem is people are pushing them selves in a fantasy trying to find love right off the bat rather than simply being a friend and letting the realtionship grow naturally if it is going to .
I can't stand all the drama ,and I don't know any one that thinks they can enjoy trying to build a relationship when there is so much drama to wade through and miss out being simply friends, which is what people need to be, to begin with, not lovers .
If two people are good friends to start with ,fears of loyalty are almost nonexistant.
But people that have not started as freinds but in romance, continually fear some level of loyalty in the other, because the reationship was not build on friendship first,but on fantasy .
Taking a chance on some one should not even exist as a phrase. And if you believe that you have to fool some one into a relationship, that is still a fantasy that has unrealistic expectations . Still stupid. still destoned to failure .
My answer , simply be friendly with out any expectations period ,taking it to the extreem , do your kindnesses anonimiously.
If looks are the major criteria, you are seriously too immature to be building a relationship. No matter what your/their age is.
Are looks important ?,they tell you the way a person values them self .
In my opinion , Women that spend a lot of time looking good to other women, arn't looking for a man to see them as they really are.
Women that work hard at sex apeal ,whether they keep a distance or not, are deep into the fantasy world .
But a woman that dresses and acts like she is happily married , not a flert but business like, is more likely to find people that would be excellant friends .
And if some one proves to be worth investagating further, there is no fantasy world to undo a mess.
But if some one proves to be not prefirred company ,you already have a list of friends with whom to occupy your time and be aware of potential problems on your behalf.
I know several ladies that have turned to me in the past when old boy friends were not working out .
I'm not a lover, I don't horse around , I'm just a friend to see the weirdos don't return, or what ever the situation is .
Kind a like a big brother .
We have our differences but there is no pushing to convert the other ,some times just some one to listen ,a sounding board as it were .
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