Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I guess I'm not even talking about being friends first. More like - instead of seeing a stranger at a bar and going over and hitting on her - maybe just going to a friend's party and mingling with the guests. When you hit on someone - you don't know anything about them and you pretty much only have one goal in mind. Because the woman knows that you only have one goal and she knows nothing about you at all - she won't feel that bad rejecting you because she doesn't know you. And there might be a ton of reasons why she doesn't want to talk to you. Maybe she sees a different guy that she's trying to get the attention of. Maybe she has a boyfriend. Maybe she doesn't like your shirt. Maybe she's shy. And on and on. But if you were at a friend's party - there isn't just one goal for talking to someone. It's natural that you would talk to a bunch of different people - so there's no pressure. So even if the girl might have rejected you in a bar - she might give you a chance in a different environment.
Am I making sense? Sometimes I don't...
I don't really hit on girls at bars. I mean I have, but I expect rejection there.
Parties and networking events, which are getting fewer and far in between at my age are OK. But women still judge you based on looks. They don't really get to know you.
My philosophy was that if she REALLY got to know me, she'd like me and I'd become attractive. After all, it's happened FOR ME.
Really, for some men (and women), the only solution is to go through a sh@tload of numbers until you find somebody that might be willing date you. After you get a maybe, you can figure out if you might like them. You might not like them that much, but you never know when you'll get another chance.
So I do recommend guys/gals who have few options take a chance on someone they aren't that attracted to. And I definitely recommend some of these guys who have never had anybody take a chance on someone they might not be that initially attracted to.
Sounds rough, but everybody has to play the game a different way.
Really, for some men (and women), the only solution is to go through a sh@tload of numbers until you find somebody that might be willing date you.
Until eventually the rejection gets to you so badly that you start looking at the Russian sites for mail order brides. Certainly nowhere near as meaningful as a real relationship, but i guess some of us aren't meant to be happy.
If you think people offering you advice is "lecturing" - then so be it. This is why I'm curious as to hear your exact conversations with these women that reject you so cruelly. But by all means - if you think hookers and mail order brides will bring you happiness - have at it. We only have one life to live - might as well make the most of it!
I wouldn't pay for a hooker unless she offered the full Girlfriend Experience. Like Sasha Grey in the movie.
Until eventually the rejection gets to you so badly that you start looking at the Russian sites for mail order brides. Certainly nowhere near as meaningful as a real relationship, but i guess some of us aren't meant to be happy.
Rejection is not so bad if you learn to stay away from the big ones.
Those are the ones that sting.
Why do you care if some woman who barely knows you blows you off?
Now if a woman knows all the great things about you and still doesn't want you in any way, well that sucks...
Numbers.
I have a friend who sells disability insurance to physicians. He gets tons of rejections. But when he hits one, he can eat for like 2 months.
Rejection is not so bad if you learn to stay away from the big ones.
Those are the ones that sting.
Why do you care if some woman who barely knows you blows you off?
Now if a woman knows all the great things about you and still doesn't want you in any way, well that sucks...
Numbers.
I have a friend who sells disability insurance to physicians. He gets tons of rejections. But when he hits one, he can eat for like 2 months.
Think of it that way.
That's exactly why I tell my girlfriends not to sleep with a guy right away if she is actually looking for a relationship. A guy doesn't know you well enough after one night to feel bad about not calling you the next day - just like a woman doesn't feel bad about not accepting a drink or a date with you if she doesn't know you at all.
That's exactly why I tell my girlfriends not to sleep with a guy right away if she is actually looking for a relationship. A guy doesn't know you well enough after one night to feel bad about not calling you the next day - just like a woman doesn't feel bad about not accepting a drink or a date with you if she doesn't know you at all.
Yea, but...
The guys who can do that don't have any troubles getting women.
The guys who can do that don't have any troubles getting women.
You're talking about a different dynamic.
No - I'm talking about a level of caring. A man doesn't care about a woman he met at a bar and bedded that same night. A woman doesn't care about a guy that hits on her in a bar. A man has a chance at caring about a woman who he goes out with a few times and spends some time with before either sleeping with her or moving on. A woman has a chance at caring about a man who she actually spends some time getting to know with out the pressure of being obviously hit on. My point was that my girlfriends shouldn't feel like there is something wrong with them if their one night stand doesn't call her the next day because he doesn't know her well enough to feel like he should call her. And a guy shouldn't feel bad if a woman doesn't accept his advances at a bar because she doesn't know him well enough to feel like she should accept his advances.
Maybe I'm not making sense... But it makes sense to me!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
