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No, I don't. He's still the nerd from high school. Nothing's changed, except his bank account and physical appearance.
But on the INSIDE, the geek is STILL a GEEK.
You are probably among those here with the most growing up to do. Your criteria seems pretty restrictive. What is a geek? Maybe we should define that. Chess or computer games? Probably. Loves cars and building things? That too? I don't know. Back slapping, beers, and baseball? Definitely NOT a geek. Am I on track here? Don't expect your doctor boyfriend or attorney husband with faultless verbal dexterity to most likely fall into the latter category. This means you'll have to think of someone else when your beta provider is on top of you.
Haha months ago in a thread many women here refused to admit there is a mindset of "dating down" but here later it is admitted. I submit to you that it is less about esteem and more about a mix up of priorities in what is consider real value in life when women refuse to "date down" in career fields.
Keep in mind that women are not one entity. Everybody speaks for themselves. For example, I know that the opinions of my husband don't necessary align with your opinions, or the next guy's opinions. He speaks only for himself.
Keep in mind that women are not one entity. Everybody speaks for themselves. For example, I know that the opinions of my husband don't necessary align with your opinions, or the next guy's opinions. He speaks only for himself.
Maybe, but when enough agree or are similar there is a pattern for basing fact. In this case take 10 successful corporate professional women who are single and really wanting to now explore the family aspect of life, send Byron the mail room clerk's profile to them and even if he has many good qualities chances are most of the 10 will dismiss him because he isn't on the same level as them career wise. He could be perfect as a man, as a family man, but still it would be " dating down" even though her salary alone could provide a good life to start a family.
On the flip side if Byron was head management he would probably have no problem dating or marrying Sarah the receptionist if she has desirable qualities such as looks and domestic qualities also.
Haha months ago in a thread many women here refused to admit there is a mindset of "dating down" but here later it is admitted. I submit to you that it is less about esteem and more about a mix up of priorities in what is consider real value in life when women refuse to "date down" in career fields.
A attitude most men don't have at least in defining a value of women by the career and income level.
So, so many never married women today who used their 20's to 40's to focus on a career who now expect to land the same guy they could have 20 years earlier AND who is equal or better yet above her in the career field. lol......
The problem with that expectation is many men wanted her when she was who she was 20 years ago and her career NOW doesn't mean as much to them and she thinks it should.
There has been a price to pay after all with the feminist movement to creating professional or corporate women wanting the same as men
You should know that my opinions are typically at odds with other women. I would have posted the same opinion monthsago, I assure you.
You know a guy at 17 and he is unimpressive, and maybe socially stunded. Twenty years later, he looks good, he is educated, he has a good job, and he is conversant (B- to B) but not "way cool," would you (a) seriously consider him, and (b) would you be hemmed in by the prejudices of you and your peer group?
LET'S HEAR IT. NO SUGARCOATING.
I'll play.....I have no idea. Life can take people in many different directions in 20 years. I talk to guys from my HS now, that I don't ever remember having a conversation with 30 years ago. They said they remembered me....why did they never approach me then? My life would have probably turned out completely different. Maybe better, maybe worse.
If the guy of which you speak has changed, why can't the girl?
And why is a guy at 37 still so obsessed with looks?
Let's turn it around.
You know a girl at 17...she's the one with braces on her teeth, pudgy. She is is unimpressive, and maybe socially stunded.
20 years later she is H.O.T.! She has a good job but not "way cool". Would you seriously consider her or would you would you be hemmed in by the prejudices of you and your peer group?
LET'S HEAR IT. NO SUGARCOATING.
(and Lionking...I married down and don't regret it for a moment)
Last edited by Granny Sue; 12-03-2012 at 12:46 PM..
For reference to the original discussion of the thread, the *geek* who was passed over by certain women back in the day, what would be "dating down" for him now would be to accept that same woman now after she has had three kids from the wrong choices of men who she has finally realized now her mistake and wants that guy to accept her and her baggage years later thinking her T&A still reigns supreme to him.
Maybe, but when enough agree or are similar there is a pattern for basing fact. In this case take 10 successful corporate professional women who are single and really wanting to now explore the family aspect of life, send Byron the mail room clerk's profile to them and even if he has many good qualities chances are most of the 10 will dismiss him because he isn't on the same level as them career wise. He could be perfect as a man, as a family man, but still it would be " dating down" even though her salary alone could provide a good life to start a family.
On the flip side if Byron was head management he would probably have no problem dating or marrying Sarah the receptionist if she has desirable qualities such as looks and domestic qualities also.
Opinions on a message board are pretty random. Some women don't care and voice it. Some women do care and voice it. What's key here is that I don't think your particular perspective covers why a person chooses guy A over guy B. You see what you see, but it's not really all encompassing. And the same goes for any of the women here who like to speak for billions. There is no reason to think Byron the mail room clerk would be any more motivated as a father than he is with his own life and career. Byron the mail room clerk may or may not be well read and well spoken. Byron the mail room clerk may or may not prioritize his children's intellectual development, education, and opportunity. Byron the mail room clerk may be an artist on the side, a master cabinet maker, a fine musician, etc. The across the board dating up or down is two-dimensional. I don't think it's smart to assume an entire gender has equal depth, life experience, or values that play into these decisions.
Last edited by Braunwyn; 12-03-2012 at 12:44 PM..
Reason: Brian to Byron
For reference to the original discussion of the thread, the *geek* who was passed over by certain women back in the day, what would be "dating down" for him now would be to accept that same woman now after she has had three kids from the wrong choices of men who she has finally realized now her mistake and wants that guy to accept her and her baggage years later thinking her T&A still reigns supreme to him.
By certain women, that would be women more popular than him. I was a nerd in highschool. The OP didnt want a girl like me. I wasnt popular nor was i pretty enough.
This thread could be written to say, "I hated the bookworms in high school, only wanted to date the party sluts. They always rejected me. Now that I am older, I still hate the bookworms from high school with their boring educated careers. But I now relish in the fact that the sluts arent doing so well."
You were the cute 20 something that turned every guy down because you thought you were so cute. You slept around and got drunk every weekend. You were one of the "cool girls" in high school and college. You never gave the "nerdy guy" a chance.
WAIT A MINUTE.............FAST FOWARD
Nerdy guy is now 37 and he's no longer nedy looking, he's transformed his body to a lean muscle machine and he's spent the last 15 years working on his career and building his business. He now earns a high 6 figure income and is well traveled.
Oh, wait a minute............NOW YOU WANT HIM.
Yes, the above story is real and it happens.
I say, to heck with her. She's no longer the cute 20 something girl, she's now 35 and used up and has had a series a bad relationships and a divorce.
Yup, this happens to guys all of the time.
A man will marry the best looking woman he can afford.
Tight butts get rich husbands.
How to spot a rich guy:
Last edited by picmod; 01-09-2014 at 06:20 PM..
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