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Opinions on a message board are pretty random. Some women don't care and voice it. Some women do care and voice it. What's key here is that I don't think your particular perspective covers why a person chooses guy A over guy B. You see what you see, but it's not really all encompassing. And the same goes for any of the women here who like to speak for billions. There is no reason to think Byron the mail room clerk would be any more motivated as a father than he is with his own life and career. Byron the mail room clerk may or may not be well read and well spoken. Byron the mail room clerk may or may not prioritize his children's intellectual development, education, and opportunity. Byron the mail room clerk may be an artist on the side, a master cabinet maker, a fine musician, etc. The across the board dating up or down is two-dimensional. I don't think it's smart to assume an entire gender has equal depth, life experience, or values that play into these decisions.
Everything in my scenerio said Byron the clerk had all those good qualities. No not every woman thinks the same, just like not every man does though however take the example of NYC the financial, ego and dog eat dog city of the world, where there are many super successful women professional types and see how often they would dismiss Byron, I say the majority would be often. They would rather hold off for a man of equal or higher position in their career field which is a small club to begin with who still has all the good qualities Byron might have. And so they are alone and probably will stay that way.
You know a girl at 17...she's the one with braces on her teeth, pudgy. She is is unimpressive, and maybe socially stunded.
20 years later she is H.O.T.! She has a good job but not "way cool". Would you seriously consider her or would you would you be hemmed in by the prejudices of you and your peer group?
LET'S HEAR IT. NO SUGARCOATING.
BTW, I spelled stunted wrong the first time. It wouldn't bother me, if this transition happened at 22, 27, or 37. I have always told my peer group to "eff off" on just about anything they disapproved of (my car, my school, etc.) but I've always kept a small group of friends to begin with.
And not being "way cool" is a bonus. It means she has a spine and doesn't care what people think of her. There were these two chicks in HS I couldn't stand who thought they were all THAT vis-a-vis the rest of the school. They looked like sisters, about 18, but (world-weary Marilyn Monroe-alikes) going on 26, who would jump into one's 2-seater convertible to go off to lunch or whatever it is they did. B itches then, and b itches now (yes, FB). And now, they have NO reason to be, if you catch my drift.
Everything in my scenerio said Byron the clerk had all those good qualities. No not every woman thinks the same, just like not every man does though however take the example of NYC the financial, ego and dog eat dog city of the world, where there are many super successful women professional types and see how often they would dismiss Byron, I say the majority would be often. They would rather hold off for a man of equal or higher position in their career field which is a small club to begin with who still has all the good qualities Byron might have. And so they are alone and probably will stay that way.
These are a specific segment of women (NYC). They certainly are not representative of women at large nationally or globally. The reality is that likes tend to naturally go for other likes. I don't see that as an up or down situation, but a keeping to your own situation, which is what humans have always done. The reasoning here is stratified. And this guy Byron with all the sensibilities and intelligence of say a family man scientist, physician, business owner, etc is more likely to be a fictional character. Further, I don't buy that most successful women are alone. Stats show in 2012 that successful women and successful men are most likely to couple up and marry over other groups.
You were the cute 20 something that turned every guy down because you thought you were so cute. You slept around and got drunk every weekend. You were one of the "cool girls" in high school and college. You never gave the "nerdy guy" a chance.
WAIT A MINUTE.............FAST FOWARD
Nerdy guy is now 37 and he's no longer nedy looking, he's transformed his body to a lean muscle machine and he's spent the last 15 years working on his career and building his business. He now earns a high 6 figure income and is well traveled.
Oh, wait a minute............NOW YOU WANT HIM.
Yes, the above story is real and it happens.
I say, to heck with her. She's no longer the cute 20 something girl, she's now 35 and used up and has had a series a bad relationships and a divorce.
Yup, this happens to guys all of the time.
Nice I guess if you're into fantasies fueled by long-term bitterness and possibly sexual frustration. come to think of it, I actually thought I saw an episode of two and half men with the plot described by the OP. But that's television...also a fantasy world.
Everything in my scenerio said Byron the clerk had all those good qualities.
Bit misleading in my opinion as you stated he could be as if it was a possibility or toss up not a certainty that he had those qualities.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking
He could be perfect as a man, as a family man, but still it would be " dating down" even though her salary alone could provide a good life to start a family.
You know, I dated a girl for a while in my early 20s. Decided the relationship was not for me. I was nice when I severed ties, but pretty firm about matters.
In my early 30s, I received a wedding invitation from her. On the invitation itself, she had scrawled "This Could Have Been You!"
Bit misleading in my opinion as you stated he could be as if it was a possibility or toss up not a certainty that he had those qualities.
Ugh could as in " in the scenerio" just like the saying " he could be the last man on Earth and I still wouldn't go for it" but I guess I worded it confusingly.
You know, I dated a girl for a while in my early 20s. Decided the relationship was not for me. I was nice when I severed ties, but pretty firm about matters.
In my early 30s, I received a wedding invitation from her. On the invitation itself, she had scrawled "This Could Have Been You!"
The OP reminds me of her.
Wow. The big question is: Did you go to the wedding?
These are a specific segment of women (NYC). They certainly are not representative of women at large nationally or globally. The reality is that likes tend to naturally go for other likes.
I wouldn't know, though I could imagine, having both relatives living and friends working in the tri-state NY area.
It's sad that being successful on Wall Street is the "end all" for some people, and for those aspiring to couple with them. I look at most of my male primary case physicians. They could NOT have made it on Wall Street. I doubt they, or their wives, are complaining.
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