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Arrange to meet him somewhere quite awkward, then don't turn up or call.
Do this.
Or go meet him
Or just forget him
It doesn't matter. There's no right answer.
I'll get jumped on for saying this, but he does like you. He's not in love with you, obviously. He did a ****ty thing. But he didn't do it TO hurt you. He didn't do it to make you look like a fool. He did it and it had nothing to do with you. He did it because he probably was torn and didn't know how to tell you. Breaking it off with someone you like is hard and it sucks. Most of us have probably been through this. He handled it poorly, that's all.
And, like a typical guy who friendzones a woman, he wants to keep you around as a backup in case things don't work out with his first choice.
Tell him, no thank you.
I guess I want to know what made him friendzone me when everything was going so effin well.
And of course I am not going to go for him as second choice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAnnThrope
No.
Arrange to meet him somewhere quite awkward, then don't turn up or call.
LOL. Tempting but no. I cannot do that. :-P
Quote:
Originally Posted by msvalentine
yep! do that. then if he whines which im sure he will... tell him payback's a bi-tch! innit? then laugh haaaaaaaaaard!
the douche is obviously a qu-eer drama queen. why else would he blatantly flirt with the other girl on FB when he KNOWS u can read it?! either that or he is the biggest idiot. either way he's a loser and u don't wanna associate urself with those degenerates do u?
I think that maybe he did not realize I was falling for him like how I was. I am trying to be mature about this but I am getting angrier.
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki
I don't think I'd meet him. It's unlikely he's realized what a jerk he was or wants to be with you. He probably just feels guilty and wants you to let him off the hook, so he doesn't have to feel bad for leading you on. Let him ask out another girl and don't answer the phone when things don't work and he calls you for his back up plan!
Yeah, I get what you are saying. I will not pick up when he needs **** if it doesn't work out.
I just guess I feel I am owned an explanation but then I am like WTF? I know what he is going to say. People have no shame.
The funny thing is that all my friends (close and distant) have nothing but good things to say about him. They all praise him as such a good guy. They all are shocked and think he made a true mistake or did not realize how much he was leading me on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by filihok
Do this.
Or go meet him
Or just forget him
It doesn't matter. There's no right answer.
I'll get jumped on for saying this, but he does like you. He's not in love with you, obviously. He did a ****ty thing. But he didn't do it TO hurt you. He didn't do it to make you look like a fool. He did it and it had nothing to do with you. He did it because he probably was torn and didn't know how to tell you. Breaking it off with someone you like is hard and it sucks. Most of us have probably been through this. He handled it poorly, that's all.
I find your answer interesting. I think you are saying he does like me because of the fact that he wants to meet me up and explain. He is insistent about it.
I felt like a fool. It does hurt. But if he was so torn and didnt know how to tell me, he could have just left with my other friends instead of laying here next to me cuddling all night and holding my hand. If he was so serious about asking this other girl out, why didnt he start to create this distance from me earlier?
I do not think he is a bad guy, believe it or not. He handled it poorly but still. Where does that leave me? And wtf does he wanna say?
I find your answer interesting. I think you are saying he does like me because of the fact that he wants to meet me up and explain. He is insistent about it.
No. I think he likes you because of the way he acted when he was with you. And that he spent a lot of time with you. AND because he wants to explain.
Quote:
I felt like a fool. It does hurt. But if he was so torn and didnt know how to tell me, he could have just left with my other friends instead of laying here next to me cuddling all night and holding my hand. If he was so serious about asking this other girl out, why didnt he start to create this distance from me earlier?
Because he enjoyed being with you.
Quote:
I do not think he is a bad guy, believe it or not. He handled it poorly but still. Where does that leave me? And wtf does he wanna say?
I agree, this doesn't make him a bad guy.
It leaves your as runner-up.
He probably wants to say something similar as to what I'm saying.
No. I think he likes you because of the way he acted when he was with you. And that he spent a lot of time with you. AND because he wants to explain.
Because he enjoyed being with you.
I agree, this doesn't make him a bad guy.
It leaves your as runner-up.
He probably wants to say something similar as to what I'm saying.
I am thinking about hearing him out. And then as horrible as it sounds...just not actively continuing a friendship with him for now. He is in my group of friends and if I see him, then fine. We can be nice and civil to each other but that is it.
I won't spend my time as the "scorned" 2nd place winner. I told him that I wished him luck with asking the other girl out and I mean it even though I said it when I was angry. But I still think I have a right to be hurt and upset. This was my first serious potential after that cancer faking guy I posted about here.
I guess I want to know what made him friendzone me when everything was going so effin well.
And of course I am not going to go for him as second choice.
LOL. Tempting but no. I cannot do that. :-P
I think that maybe he did not realize I was falling for him like how I was. I am trying to be mature about this but I am getting angrier.
Yeah, I get what you are saying. I will not pick up when he needs **** if it doesn't work out.
I just guess I feel I am owned an explanation but then I am like WTF? I know what he is going to say. People have no shame.
The funny thing is that all my friends (close and distant) have nothing but good things to say about him. They all praise him as such a good guy. They all are shocked and think he made a true mistake or did not realize how much he was leading me on.
I find your answer interesting. I think you are saying he does like me because of the fact that he wants to meet me up and explain. He is insistent about it.
I felt like a fool. It does hurt. But if he was so torn and didnt know how to tell me, he could have just left with my other friends instead of laying here next to me cuddling all night and holding my hand. If he was so serious about asking this other girl out, why didnt he start to create this distance from me earlier?
I do not think he is a bad guy, believe it or not. He handled it poorly but still. Where does that leave me? And wtf does he wanna say?
Not sure if he's trying to have his cake and eat it too, but I'd be hurt if I was lead on.
Then again, gives you a better reason to move on and not feel much for him. At all. If ever.
You can meet with him as a friend at a later date when you're over it.
As of right now, if you're curious, sometimes some things are better left unsaid so you can move on, or if you meet with him to see what he's got to say, you can also make peace with the fact that you're over it especially now. I tend to forgive as to not hold grudges and totally move on emotionally and mentally what have you.
My guesses if he were to say something, probably another load of b.s.
But hey, at least you found out now rather than later when you were in a relationship and he still continued to act that way towards his friends.
It sounds like you both really enjoyed each other's company. OP said they had a lot in common and really liked each other. Personally I would meet up with him and see what he has to say. If he does say he only wants to be friends you can always tell him that won't work for you. At least you will get closure and some answers. If he wants to continue to see you, you can make it clear what you want in a relationship, and that would be to be exclusive and for him to not be seeing anyone else. If he can't deal with that you can move on, if he agrees you can hopefully put this behind you.
I'd say the fact that he thinks he has something 'to explain' means he knows he did something wrong. He knew and did it anyway.
Not sure what you will get out of going to see him and you need to take care of yourself at this point and not worry about what he needs.
It sounds like you both really enjoyed each other's company. OP said they had a lot in common and really liked each other. Personally I would meet up with him and see what he has to say. If he does say he only wants to be friends you can always tell him that won't work for you. At least you will get closure and some answers. If he wants to continue to see you, you can make it clear what you want in a relationship, and that would be to be exclusive and for him to not be seeing anyone else. If he can't deal with that you can move on, if he agrees you can hopefully put this behind you.
Positive advice, and I agree.
It's easier to let someone go when you are over it, more difficult to remain friends when you still have feelings.
Sometimes, you need time to process hurt emotions, especially after going out with this guy for a few months and falling for him.
Once you find someone new, I don't see harm done in being friends with someone you're not into anymore. Let bygones be bygones. Since you already know he's into this other chick, it's easier to get over him when you know you deserve better.
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