Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC
Actually YOU friend zoned him, not the other way around. Having a man over to sleep in your bed without even a kiss, for three months = friend zone. How long should a guy lay there in your bed stroking your hair? He busted out of the zone in the only way a guy can: by seeing someone else and making sure you know about it. I bet he still likes you. And now he has your attention.
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It's not very often I agree with you but I must say, you've really brought up some excellent points on this thread.
OP sounds very young and has just had her first experience with a jerk.
This also highlights the risk of the American obsession with sex and virginity.
Young women in America are taught by society that there are "rules" that nice girls don't break, eg, no sex for the first (God, how many) dates, the three month rule, and other associated bs.
Then they get out of their parents house totally unprepared for the warfare that is modern mating, and discover slowly and to their horror, that not everyone adheres to those "rules".
This leaves them in a state of despair, like OP; she did everything "right", she followed the "rules" and she still got her heart broken, and is now left wondering "what if".
OP I can assure you, from the advantage of great distance, that he would have been a terrible, terrible lover, and this other girl has won absolutely no prizes.
With all the self respect etc that comes with your "rules", make sure that self respect is applied in other areas as well...for example, not getting involved in the first place with a guy who is clearly an immature jerk. (Drinking buddy? Puleasseee).
You have learnt a couple of hard lessons
1. your "rules" don't work in the real world
2. some men just don't care who's heart they break...in fact, they enjoy the ego trip
3. don't get involved in drinking sessions and having a man in/on your bed, if you aren't willing to have sex with them. It is sending mixed messages and makes you look like a school girl.
You say your good friends already hate him, cry on their shoulders...they could see this coming and next month it will be their turn to cry on yours, and you can use this experience to help other girls for years to come.
Trust me, in 5 years you probably will struggle to remember his name.
If I were you, reopen you fb, just make it private and don't share this sort of stuff on it, so it doesn't matter who sees what. Facebook is supposed to be a harmless record of your life, not a diary. This too will pass, the last thing you need is your pain memorialised forever on the internet.
Go get some ice cream, hang out with your girlfriends, have a good cry, and move on.
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