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I'm a female and while I like children on occasion, I can't deal with them 24/7, especially children who aren't even mine. I think if kids are your thing and you love the idea of being a parent, then that's great, but not all of us feel that way. It doesn't mean there's anything inherently wrong or undesirable about single parents.
The thing is nothing is absolute, meaning there are abusive dads and sweet men without kids. If these are the only men women are meeting they aren't trying hard enough. I'll take neither and yes would rather be alone than date either.
No, and clearly there are great men with all different backgrounds. I've definitely dated men who had no kids and were as sweet as could be, but I didn't want a future with them for one reason or another, so we broke up.
The biggest reason I can think of is that the single adult dating a singe parent will NEVER be number one in their life,
In EVERY single case of a single parent their children is their single priority. There is nothing wrong in this, in fact it is biologically correct. However it is a barrier only the desperate will lose in.
If the parent is a mother, her partner will never be #1, once a baby is born.
Some reason I love dogs, feel pained going to the local shelter but only own 2 shelter dogs. I only have so much emotional space in my being.
I am a big-hearted softy at the end of the day, bluster aside. I can't help but do for someone in suffering when I see it in real time.
A single mother is most likely a vulnerable person. Sorry, ugly truth. Therefore, when things invariably go sour- and statistically speaking they will- then what?
I have to directly harm a young child, both with my pocket book and my emotions, all because I wanted to get laid and maybe form a relationship?
Imagine being with a woman for a year, falling in love with her child, helping him/her, guiding him/her, then you break up.
Now what?
Women, even good women, in my experience redefine cynical when it comes to protecting their insecurities. The odds that the kid would be used as some sort of creepy bartering chip are high. And even if the woman was reasonable about it all, it's still an impossible situation.
What's the break-up talk with the kid? "I cared for you, you cried and shared real moments with me, I acted as your protector, but your mom wasn't doing ti for my any more so have a nice life? Here's my email address!"
I am a single dad and I don't want a single mom. Hypocritical maybe. But in my personal experience, the single mom struggles financially a lot. And expects the new guy in her life to pay for her kids. It's hard enough out there without the added burden of another mouth to feed. Heck, it's hard enough just to get along with the SO, but add sum kids into the mix and its even harder.
Example: my cousin married a woman with 3 kids, from 2 guys, and both are nowhere around.
She begged my cousin to move in with her. He did, and now she expects him to pay half the rent.
It's her house, her furniture, her decorations, her kids have all their own bedrooms, etc. He feels as if he should only pay half of what the master bedroom is worth, plus 1/5 of the utilities(5 ppl in the house). She is pissed. He simply feels that all her kids are her responsibility on every level. He works 2 jobs, and has his own 2 kids on weekends. And he never expects her to pay for his kids.
And that's my point. I have dated alot, and never have I asked or expected a woman to buy anything for my son. And what's worse, is that rarely does a woman offer, even at Taco Bell lol. I'm well above average income so it's not a problem but I do take notice.
I just tend to view single moms as parents who HAD to be responsible, since their stuck being preganant and breast feeding. They form the type of bond that cant easily be broken. Often times a woman's morality to keep the pregnany overrides practicality of taking the back door out and just abort them. And after the child is born, If women could walk away from the child as easily as men do all the time, I believe a lot of them would. However, that is just speculation.
And i look at single dads as guys who CHOSE to be responsible. Everyone and every situation is different. But in my case, I became a father at 19. And my sons mothers parents sat me down before my son was born, and said I didn't have to stay if I didn't want to. No hard feelings and no child support. I opted to stay. My son is about 18. Best decision I ever made. But I have been discriminated on for having a kid. Even though I pay for everything and had a chance to leave early on, I stood up like man. Women in my experience don't see that or don't care. They just say "oh he's got a kid, no thanks." I would think a woman would be like "that's a stand up guy and he has knowledge about babies, child care and rearing, etc."but mostly they say "I want my first child to be with someone who is also a first time parent." Which to me is on sum fantasy type stuff instead of realizing the value and practicality of having a seasoned male leader as your SO and father of future children. Just my story and opinion. I'm sure it's flawed and biased as the everyone else.
Same thing with a man and on top of it the man is probably paying child support so the new wife may have to help out. No way.
Thank you for adding that the same holds for a single father. Only, i think it's easier for a woman to be a mother, socially, than a man to be a father.
I am a single dad and I don't want a single mom. Hypocritical maybe. But in my personal experience, the single mom struggles financially a lot. And expects the new guy in her life to pay for her kids. It's hard enough out there without the added burden of another mouth to feed. Heck, it's hard enough just to get along with the SO, but add sum kids into the mix and its even harder.
Example: my cousin married a woman with 3 kids, from 2 guys, and both are nowhere around.
She begged my cousin to move in with her. He did, and now she expects him to pay half the rent.
It's her house, her furniture, her decorations, her kids have all their own bedrooms, etc. He feels as if he should only pay half of what the master bedroom is worth, plus 1/5 of the utilities(5 ppl in the house). She is pissed. He simply feels that all her kids are her responsibility on every level. He works 2 jobs, and has his own 2 kids on weekends. And he never expects her to pay for his kids.
And that's my point. I have dated alot, and never have I asked or expected a woman to buy anything for my son. And what's worse, is that rarely does a woman offer, even at Taco Bell lol. I'm well above average income so it's not a problem but I do take notice.
I just tend to view single moms as parents who HAD to be responsible, since their stuck being preganant and breast feeding. They form the type of bond that cant easily be broken. Often times a woman's morality to keep the pregnany overrides practicality of taking the back door out and just abort them. And after the child is born, If women could walk away from the child as easily as men do all the time, I believe a lot of them would. However, that is just speculation.
And i look at single dads as guys who CHOSE to be responsible. Everyone and every situation is different. But in my case, I became a father at 19. And my sons mothers parents sat me down before my son was born, and said I didn't have to stay if I didn't want to. No hard feelings and no child support. I opted to stay. My son is about 18. Best decision I ever made. But I have been discriminated on for having a kid. Even though I pay for everything and had a chance to leave early on, I stood up like man. Women in my experience don't see that or don't care. They just say "oh he's got a kid, no thanks." I would think a woman would be like "that's a stand up guy and he has knowledge about babies, child care and rearing, etc."but mostly they say "I want my first child to be with someone who is also a first time parent." Which to me is on sum fantasy type stuff instead of realizing the value and practicality of having a seasoned male leader as your SO and father of future children. Just my story and opinion. I'm sure it's flawed and biased as the everyone else.
You are being hypocritical by not dating moms then expecting non moms to give you a chance. Childless women have choices. I would rather be alone than date a dad and so would many others. As for not paying for your son, that is one reason many women don't date dads. Date a mom, she'll be more open to it. Most childless women don't need a leader, we are leaders, and being a dad doesn't mean being a leader. So what if a woman wants to share firsts with men? It's her right.
Thank you for adding that the same holds for a single father. Only, i think it's easier for a woman to be a mother, socially, than a man to be a father.
It might be, especially if she has custody. Most dads I know were paying child support.
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