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You may want to consider older men in their late 60's or even 70's. Men, and I suppose women too, seek out their best option which is often times someone younger. It's just the way it is. For me I sought a woman my age (late 50's), had a great relationship but she ended because she was afraid I would seek out a younger woman. Sometimes you can't win.
You don't know that it's why she ended it.
You're making assumptions (based on your thread).
I'm also a single female in my 50s with no kids & not in a relationship-- so I relate completely to everything you wrote. . . I sometimes feel so odd being over 50, single
If you think the 50s are tough for dating, you should see what it's like in your 60s. I am 67 and just recently divorce after a very long, and towards the end, unhappy marriage. I spent most of last year plodding through my divorce and finding out what it's like to date at my age. There were some good experiences and some not-so-good, but they all made me realize that you don't have to be 30 years old with a model's body to find men who appreciate what you have to offer. That being said, late last year I began dating a man only one year older than I am and we have been having the time of our lives. He is the most thoughtful and considerate man I've every known and he doesn't care one iota that I'm not some 40 (or 50)-something hot body. He likes every part of me just fine and has already been hinting at something more permanent - I'm the one holding back after my lousy divorce so recent in my mind. So, there are still good men who will find value in women their own age and not have to "date down." Don't give up and also, don't dismiss one who may not tick all your boxes but who thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread.
You could try a Meetup group (Meetup.com). There are all sorts of groups out there, so depending on where you live you might find a group of 50+ people who like exactly what you do. There are dining clubs, movie clubs, book clubs, singles clubs for all age-groups, etc. There is no guarantee you will meet someone single, but the worst case scenario is you meet people and have fun (so it's kind of win-win).
Now as for the older man, younger woman bit. I am not really young at 40-years-old, but I am not old either. For some reason, men that are 15+ years older than me seem to think I would be interested in them. I tried online dating for about two months and was flooded with 50, 55, 60, and even 65-year-olds messaging me (well, that and cougar hunters I think). I even put in my profile I was looking for someone +/- 5 years from my age (basically the idea being the man would be someone I went to high school). Then again, I think they mostly ignored my profile anyway since they seemed to think I would like dressing up and going out on the town and to the ballet or whatever (when I am pretty clearly more outdoorsy in my profile).
Anyway, I would have to think those older men must have some luck now and then (or else why would they keep trying). And to be fair, I wouldn't write off a man because of his age--but I would probably have to know him pretty well and be mentally attracted to him first otherwise I am going to think we have little in common.
I have had the EXACT SAME PROBLEM with online dating. I am 42 so not much older then you and was ALWAYS approached by men at least 50 (which is about the youngest I would consider)but more often then not by men 55 and up (including a 75 year old man). Sometimes I got contacted by a man around my age but more often than not they were seeking women in their 20's-early 30's. The Catholic site I tried was far worse because there would be these men in their 60's and 70's wanting women in their 20's-early 40's so they could have babies and would be rude to women their age because they were menopause. It was warped really and these men have been on the site for years. I ended my membership when it wxpired and no longer do online dating.
I also got contacted by much younger men too but mostly because they liked the idea of an older woman teaching them apparently. Oddly most of them were nicer to me than the old men when rejected.
If you think the 50s are tough for dating, you should see what it's like in your 60s. I am 67 and just recently divorce after a very long, and towards the end, unhappy marriage. I spent most of last year plodding through my divorce and finding out what it's like to date at my age. There were some good experiences and some not-so-good, but they all made me realize that you don't have to be 30 years old with a model's body to find men who appreciate what you have to offer. That being said, late last year I began dating a man only one year older than I am and we have been having the time of our lives. He is the most thoughtful and considerate man I've every known and he doesn't care one iota that I'm not some 40 (or 50)-something hot body. He likes every part of me just fine and has already been hinting at something more permanent - I'm the one holding back after my lousy divorce so recent in my mind. So, there are still good men who will find value in women their own age and not have to "date down." Don't give up and also, don't dismiss one who may not tick all your boxes but who thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread.
Good for you!!! I'm glad that you are enjoying each other - and appreciating each other. Please consider that you may have gotten divorced, because you were going to meet this nice man. It's good that he's patient, but remember that time is finite for all of us.
I hit "the market" in my 50s after a 30-year marriage. I really had to force myself to meet members of the opposite sex and not take rejection as a personal humiliation. After I got over that hurdle, i found that the most important thing was to take an interest in the life of the person who i was talking to. It takes real skill to stop talking (or not talking), to listen, and to ask questions of interest to you about that person. I rarely found (find) people to be turned off by this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
This is true of dating at any age. Why did you only discover this after 50? Men who take no interest in their dates' lives, professional goals, academic interests, etc. is the #1 complaint of university women, according to some studies.
I don't know why taking an interest in your date would take "skill". You'd think it would come naturally. Why would you be dating someone, if you weren't interested in them? This must be a case of men thinking with the wrong head.
Some of us really don't develop social skills until later in life and I'm one of them. S Skills may come naturally to you but others have to figure it out the hard way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayton Sux
Hmmm...sort of in the same situation. I'm 53 and a widower for little over 3 years...thinking about trying craigslist just as an experiment. Though I'm older I sort of have 'younger' interests...as in things I like to do...so could be fun just to see what responses I get.
With your musical tastes we'd be a perfect match but I met someone OL already. I don't know if I'd recommend craigslist though--OK Cupid is a good "beginner" site and not too crazy usually.
I hate dating. Always have. This is not an area of my life where I am successful. Which is why I have focused on my career, I can control my career. I end up with men far "below" me in education, career status, and financial status. And those guys don't want to commit to a LTR, because, ironically, they think I will bail on them. Men my age with financial and career status equal to me, date women about 20 years younger.
If you are average looks, then it would indicate you might be overweight, as the average women in America over 50. First, lose some weight, get some new clothes, spice yourself up. From my experience, I'd say your thoughts and feelings are pretty normal for women. Spice up your look, cause men are visual creatures.
Hmmm...sort of in the same situation. I'm 53 and a widower for little over 3 years...thinking about trying craigslist just as an experiment. Though I'm older I sort of have 'younger' interests...as in things I like to do...so could be fun just to see what responses I get.
I believe I can tell you what kind of responses you'll get. I had to change my email addy to eliminate all the spam about going to this site or that site. Emails were coming with scantily clad (some not clad) young ladies in the twenty somethings. Also, ads for viagra and the rest, penis enlargers, etc. Even when I responded to a couple of ads, I got the same result. My email box got filled up on a daily basis, and not one of them came from a private woman. Every single one was for some commercial interest. Black book of sex, booty call, XXX dating, and I don't even know what else anymore. After changing my email, craigslist is like the plague. I'm back down to normal volume on my email. You may try it if you like, but you've been warned. If you want to impress someone with the volume if email you get, it's a good way to go. If you want to keep it at a civil level.....
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