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It's probably just your subconscious telling you that you're ready for dating and a relationship.
Have you thought about joining any groups? Where I live, there is a pretty active Meet-Up for people over 40, and most of the members are between 45 and 60. It's a true social group in that anyone can join, married, single, male, female, doesn't matter. You might have better luck meeting people that way. You can go out, have fun, make friends, and maybe get your flirt on if the opportunity presents itself.
I have looked into meet up groups for people over 40. I haven't had much luck. Most are driven by some sort of activity like motorcycle riders, empty-nesters, wine drinkers, people who hike-bicycle-play bunko. I would just like to meet some nice people who like to go to dinner, the movies, not one particular activity. I'll keep looking though.
While I am alone, I'm not really lonely. At least not all the time. Some times I feel terribly alone and I am sad. I would like to meet all kinds of people, but I really am looking for a romantic relationship in the long run. I wouldn't mind a few really great girlfriends to do stuff with either. Nice girls that will make good friends. The ideal would be a nice girlfriend who has a wonderful single brother!
I got bad news for you ladies...and I am not proud of this...but I just turned 60 and when I am looking, it is at much younger, TOTAL UNOBTAINABLE ladies.
Good Luck.
Not me, I want nothing to do with a woman below about 42-45 especially if they can still reproduce. I might have them spend the night but not want a relationship.
I am in my early 50's. Divorced, no kids, very simple. I've been told I am attractive, pretty, etc. however I am really very average. Not unattractive but not beautiful. I'm not fat or thin, but average. I have a job and it's average too.
Here is my problem. I haven't dated in a long long time. When I was dating, I found it fun, but never really clicked with anyone. It's been at least 5 yrs since I've been on an actual date.
I've decided that I really do want to be in a relationship. I am looking at options to meet people since I don't meet anyone sitting in my robe in front of the television.
Here's one problem: When I see an attractive, age appropriate, no ring wearing (i.e. married) guy I screw up. Sometimes I smile and it seems to me that he backs away. Then I feel weird and I back away too. I'm not sure if this imagined or my insecurity is acting up. I just don't know how to act in front of a guy.
I've had my share of bad relationships. Sometimes I think that since I've picked so many "wrong" people something must be terribly wrong with me and who would want me anyway??? This is incredibly frustrating - not sure how to act but not sure if I am really "relationship" worthy anyway.
So, when I see a single guy (age appropriate, etc) I start imaging what it would be like dating this guy or married to this guy. Then I feel weird for thinking like that. Then I think he must know what I am thinking and I feel weird even more.
So these are the kind of thoughts that go through my head. And I feel like a big old loser.
Quote:
Originally Posted by newbie09
I'm also a single female in my 50s with no kids & not in a relationship-- so I relate completely to everything you wrote. And yes, I daydream about the men I see in public (the ones in my age group, seemingly single & my type physically-- clean-shaven, etc.) so you're not the only one.
Also, like you, I haven't dated in about 5 years. The last time was so filled w/ disappointments that I gave up trying. I tend to be very cynical about it & struggle with that. But just recently, I've been thinking about trying again to meet someone....
I sometimes feel so odd being over 50, single and looking, but guess I'm not unique. I'd write more about it here, but short on time now, maybe next time. In the meantime, good luck with your attempts, hope it works out for you.
I'm not far behind you all. I've been on 4 dates in 5.5 years since I broke up with my ex. That includes zero in 2012.
2 of those 4 were outright disasters.
I want that to change but I think it just gets harder when you age. I haven't given up but to tell you the truth I only make a minimal attempt. I think due to past bad experiences with relationships (especially my ex-wife) makes me a bit nervous.
In reality I'm probably better off alone as I have a low tolerance of dealing with drama and hassles. I'm a very non-argumentative person. I like peace.
I'd rather be lonely than sorry...
I got bad news for you ladies...and I am not proud of this...but I just turned 60 and when I am looking, it is at much younger, TOTAL UNOBTAINABLE ladies.
it must be DNA or something. I kinda think men are wired this way...we are pretty much idiots as you know.
If you want an older man, I think you need to be pretty aggressive, go out of your way to speak, whack some sense in that DNA (or other body part) and get noticed. I think once in the game, you will do well, but I think you have to go way out of your way to get in the game.
I am not trying to be mean, or cruel, but I am never looking at women near my age...of course I am not dating much either!
Just being honest with you.
Good Luck.
I am not trying to mean, but I wouldn't be interested in someone like you anyway. I would rather be alone than be with someone like you, even though you wouldn't want to date me. I don't think men are idiots, I like men, most of them. Some are idiots, but then there are women who are idiots as well. I think it's a small percentage for both sexes.
I got bad news for you ladies...and I am not proud of this...but I just turned 60 and when I am looking, it is at much younger, TOTAL UNOBTAINABLE ladies.
it must be DNA or something. I kinda think men are wired this way...we are pretty much idiots as you know.
If you want an older man, I think you need to be pretty aggressive, go out of your way to speak, whack some sense in that DNA (or other body part) and get noticed. I think once in the game, you will do well, but I think you have to go way out of your way to get in the game.
I am not trying to be mean, or cruel, but I am never looking at women near my age...of course I am not dating much either!
Just being honest with you.
Good Luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by luckygirl15
I am not trying to mean, but I wouldn't be interested in someone like you anyway. I would rather be alone than be with someone like you, even though you wouldn't want to date me. I don't think men are idiots, I like men, most of them. Some are idiots, but then there are women who are idiots as well. I think it's a small percentage for both sexes.
lol@ the both of you trying to sugarcoat what you say. LLN is right though. Regardless of how old a man gets, most of us will always be physically attracted to women in the 18-30 range.
I am in my early 50's. Divorced, no kids, very simple. I've been told I am attractive, pretty, etc. however I am really very average. Not unattractive but not beautiful. I'm not fat or thin, but average. I have a job and it's average too.
Here is my problem. I haven't dated in a long long time. When I was dating, I found it fun, but never really clicked with anyone. It's been at least 5 yrs since I've been on an actual date.
I've decided that I really do want to be in a relationship. I am looking at options to meet people since I don't meet anyone sitting in my robe in front of the television.
Here's one problem: When I see an attractive, age appropriate, no ring wearing (i.e. married) guy I screw up. Sometimes I smile and it seems to me that he backs away. Then I feel weird and I back away too. I'm not sure if this imagined or my insecurity is acting up. I just don't know how to act in front of a guy.
I've had my share of bad relationships. Sometimes I think that since I've picked so many "wrong" people something must be terribly wrong with me and who would want me anyway??? This is incredibly frustrating - not sure how to act but not sure if I am really "relationship" worthy anyway.
So, when I see a single guy (age appropriate, etc) I start imaging what it would be like dating this guy or married to this guy. Then I feel weird for thinking like that. Then I think he must know what I am thinking and I feel weird even more.
So these are the kind of thoughts that go through my head. And I feel like a big old loser.
Don't feel like a big old loser. Nothing productive can come out of that negative thinking. Funny me saying this as I can be pretty negative myself......
I'm low 40's and been in a really long term relationship and to be honest, the thought of being single and out there trying to meet a woman, the thought just sends shivers down my spine.
I know that probably isn't helping you any, but I do think that there is a lid for every pot, If you look long enough or put in the effort I think someone in their 50's can meet someone special. I think if I was out there and looking... IDK, maybe I'd find someone decent, I think unfortunately, you'd have to be more accepting of people and whatever "baggage" they may have.
I got bad news for you ladies...and I am not proud of this...but I just turned 60 and when I am looking, it is at much younger, TOTAL UNOBTAINABLE ladies.
it must be DNA or something. I kinda think men are wired this way...we are pretty much idiots as you know.
If you want an older man, I think you need to be pretty aggressive, go out of your way to speak, whack some sense in that DNA (or other body part) and get noticed. I think once in the game, you will do well, but I think you have to go way out of your way to get in the game.
I am not trying to be mean, or cruel, but I am never looking at women near my age...of course I am not dating much either!
Just being honest with you.
Good Luck.
Feelings not hurt, more often than not, these days, works that same for many women, they want men that can keep up with them without a little pill. Balances out in the long run.
I second the poster that said to do the online dating. There are plenty of over-50 sites, and you can screen for the qualities you want, instead of wasting time daydreaming.
So, when I see a single guy (age appropriate, etc) I start imaging what it would be like dating this guy or married to this guy. Then I feel weird for thinking like that. Then I think he must know what I am thinking and I feel weird even more.
So these are the kind of thoughts that go through my head. And I feel like a big old loser.
Trust me... guys NEVER know what women are thinking!
lol@ the both of you trying to sugarcoat what you say. LLN is right though. Regardless of how old a man gets, most of us will always be physically attracted to women in the 18-30 range.
And most 18-30 year old women avoid old men like the plague. Yet men for some unexplained reason think they have a chance. Sorry but at 18-30 I thought 50 year old men and even younger were perverts when they tried to date me. Even now, I am repulsed when 60 year old men ask me out on dates.
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