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Its sooooooo much easier for women to find someone than it is for us guys. Remember, us guys are easy to please. All a girl has to do is not be fat, smile, and be fun to be around. Thats it!!
Easy.
LOL. That seems to work with my husband. He always tells me how my smile in my profile was the SOLE reason he msg me. And that if I want sexy time with him, ALL I have to do is smile. Or when he is in bad mood and I want to cheer him up? Yeah, my smile.
Starting to think he has a smile fetish. LOL.
As for OP I would suggest you try to tell your girls to NOT hook up the second they met the guy? I mean, why are they surprised that they don't have a bf when the guys can get sex from them THAT easy and THAT soon... I mean are you sure they're smart?
Spend a little time getting to know yourself and what you want. That done, you will send out clear messages and attract the kind of partner you need at that stage of your life.
Of course, it will change as you grow in the relationship and get to know yourselves even better, but at least it will be a firm footing to move forward with.
There is a saying that says "when the sudent is ready, the master will appear" and I think it applies to relationships too. I reckon you get into relationships to teach each other stuff, and when you have taught one another as much as you can, then the relationship with the next "teacher" starts. Just my take on things.
First off girls, I'd pay attention who REALLY likes you.
You'll know who "he" is......he never gives up.
Other than being attracted to someone's outer appearance, I wouldn't put too much stock into someone that doesn't know me beyond my skin. I'm not going to be interested in you just because you're interested in me, that's too simplistic.
And what do you mean by "he" who never gives up? That sound creepy.
Everyone thinks the grass is always greener--sure, it's easy for women to find someone to have sex with who will disappear in the morning; but the question is about finding a boyfriend, not a sex partner.
Anyway, Here are some ideas:
Be yourself. Don't be the person you think someone wants to go out with--be yourself and attract the boyfriend who adores you for you (not some made-up persona).
Watch your girlfriends who are in good relationships and and identify what makes them so good.
Identify the type of boys you are most attracted to. Ask yourself which personality characteristics are most important to you. But also keep an open mind and accept dates from a variety guys; don't limit yourself to those who are the most physically attractive. Guys who may not stand out physically can possess inner qualities that make them the best boyfriends. Avoid superficial judgments.
Attend as many social situations as possible to increase your chances of meeting the right guy. Look for opportunities beyond parties, such as church picnics, extracurricular events at school, and community or volunteer activities.
Examine you own behavior. If you want a boyfriend who is kind, generous and trusting, make sure you exhibit these same traits.
A little off topic, but if you are a guy (or even a girl) who "never gives up" and is "always around," have you asked the other person out yet? I'll never forget a guy I knew. He was always around and I really thought of him as a friend. It was only after I got a boyfriend did I find out that he actually had a thing for me. It just never crossed my mind because I didn't think he was interested-- he basically "friendzoned" himself always acting as a friend, but nothing more. I would have been surprised if he asked me out, but I would have gone out with him in a heartbeat. Male of female, you do yourself no favors just lurking around hoping something magical might happen. Just say something.
This is the girls version of that thread what can a guy do to get a gf.
Just to make a few things clear (so people don't get all personal on me):
-I'm not looking (I've had bfs, but some of my friends my age haven't, and I realize I can't give them any advice, because I felt like the bfs I've had were mainly accidents. We just happened to need the same things at the same time and thought the other person was right at that time. for me it was about timing, but if someone were actually looking, I wouldn't know what to tell them.)
-and please don't say just sleep with a guy. Because that does not make you their gf!
-umm and yes they shower, look decent, are smart girls, not virgins, but somehow the bf thing just isn't clicking for them. It seems fairly common these days actually. Maybe it's our hook up culture?
The prevalence of the hook up culture can definitely be an obstacle to younger women seeking relationships.
Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus, by Kathleen Bogie, is one of the few serious studies of the hook up culture aimed at a general audience. One of Bogie's most telling findings is that while over 75% of the men in her study said they preferred casual hook ups to dating, less than 25% of the women felt the same way. Even more telling was the fact that women disliked hooking up for the same reason men liked it--i.e. because it "led to nothing."
Many men--I want to say most men--in their 20s are all about having lots of sex with lots of different women. They crave variety, and only "settle" for relationships if casual hooks ups and/or FWB arrangements are unavailable. This changes as men get older. But you may have to make it through the relationship desert of your early to mid-20s before you find a truly relationship-minded man.
What's sexist about this statement?? It really does seem that easy for me. Made no reference to other genders....just sayin...
At first I thought her original comment was sarcasm. After reading this post, I see that this woman.... is one of those.
OP, I agree with the post with the three points, 1. dont be fat, 2. smile 3. be fun.
OP comments that she thinks it is easier for guys ? So being rejected by 100 women before finding a woman interested is EASIER ? Not so. Men have a broader range of acceptability in choosing a date. Women are MUCH pickier than men. They claim not to be, but as the OP says, "if it isn't there, it isn't there." In this application, 'it' is the undeniable instantaneous "OMG, I'm ga-ga for this guy", where as many many men will approach a woman he is moderately attracted to, and if they talk and have fun, a guys will appreciate that. But it 'seems' most women want to be amazed at how awesome a guy is immediately. This is just IME though. And I have plenty of rejection to give evidence to IME.
What can a girl do to get a boyfriend?..She should be willing to see the man inside the clothes..she could try and see what the guy does for her, not what he looks like, or what car he drives, or how much money he makes..I find the OPs words "if it isn't there, it isn't there" kinda curious....How would you even know that? unless of course it's the appearance of what the man is/has that is the attracting feature...and ,sadly, that seems to be a leading factor and takes precedence over any substance that someone else who's maybe not considered as physically attractive might have.
At first I thought her original comment was sarcasm. After reading this post, I see that this woman.... is one of those.
OP, I agree with the post with the three points, 1. dont be fat, 2. smile 3. be fun.
OP comments that she thinks it is easier for guys ? So being rejected by 100 women before finding a woman interested is EASIER ? Not so. Men have a broader range of acceptability in choosing a date. Women are MUCH pickier than men. They claim not to be, but as the OP says, "if it isn't there, it isn't there." In this application, 'it' is the undeniable instantaneous "OMG, I'm ga-ga for this guy", where as many many men will approach a woman he is moderately attracted to, and if they talk and have fun, a guys will appreciate that. But it 'seems' most women want to be amazed at how awesome a guy is immediately. This is just IME though. And I have plenty of rejection to give evidence to IME.
One of what? I really was half kidding. I don't think getting a boyfriend or girlfriend is "hard". Just be open to people and give those in your midst a chance. *shrugs*
The prevalence of the hook up culture can definitely be an obstacle to younger women seeking relationships.
Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus, by Kathleen Bogie, is one of the few serious studies of the hook up culture aimed at a general audience. One of Bogie's most telling findings is that while over 75% of the men in her study said they preferred casual hook ups to dating, less than 25% of the women felt the same way. Even more telling was the fact that women disliked hooking up for the same reason men liked it--i.e. because it "led to nothing."
Many men--I want to say most men--in their 20s are all about having lots of sex with lots of different women. They crave variety, and only "settle" for relationships if casual hooks ups and/or FWB arrangements are unavailable. This changes as men get older. But you may have to make it through the relationship desert of your early to mid-20s before you find a truly relationship-minded man.
i dont think thats true at all. if a guy in his late teens/20s meets a girl he really likes he's going to want to be in a relationship with her. hook ups are just something to do in the mean time.
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I really was half kidding. I don't think getting a boyfriend or girlfriend is "hard". Just be open to people and give those in your midst a chance. *shrugs*
