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No I am not worried that my gf is going to have sex with the stripper or do anything sexual with him. But I don't even feel comfortable with her "slapping him" or touching him or dancing with him as I am sure other girls will be. She is not a "wild" girl and barely drinks so my main question is what is the best way to tell her of my concerns and my opinon and bascially I want to say, "I would really really prefer if you don't touch the guy because if I was touching a girl or dancing with a girl in the ways the girls and stripper wants the girls to touch and dance with him you would not be talking to be anymore."
If she is not a wild person and she barely drinks, I'm not sure why you are doubting her in the first place. You've been with her for four years. Isn't that enough to know her well by now? You assume she wouldn't talk to you if you did that stuff, so why do you assume that she does not practice the Golden Rule?
But if you must, instead of trying to direct her behavior, which can and will come off as controlling, just tell her you trust her not to do anything you wouldn't do.
Because of course, you'd never get a lap dance, right?
If she is not a wild person and she barely drinks, I'm not sure why you are doubting her in the first place. You've been with her for four years. Isn't that enough to know her well by now? You assume she wouldn't talk to you if you did that stuff, so why do you assume that she does not practice the Golden Rule?
But if you must, instead of trying to direct her behavior, which can and will come off as controlling, just tell her you trust her not to do anything you wouldn't do.
Because of course, you'd never get a lap dance, right?
That's a good way to approach. And correct I do think a lap dance is inappropriate for me to get and to tell you the truth Ivenever gotten one. Why spend money for stuff I can get for free, from better looking girls for free too.
No you are getting it wrong. Like I said I have no problem with her going to a male strip club. I have seen strippers before. (Before we were together) the big difference between male strippers and female are females are dont touch or they bring a 300lb bouncer with them if its private event. The male stripper comes to get touched and get rowdy with the girls. This is what she is being very nieve about. She thinks the strippers are gay. It's the private hotel room setting and her being so freaking nieve about what these strippers want and what her friends might do/want to do.
I agree with that right of passage is bs though. Again I believe her when she says its more funny than anything else but I am fairly confident that she has never seen a private stripper party.
Just looking for advice on how to talk to her about my frustrations with the situation.
I promise you - your girlfriend is not naive. It's an effective little act though isn't it?!
One approach you might take is to specifically list for her the scenarios with which you would be displeased. Let her know "If you do a, b, and c, I'd be fine with that, but I would consider x, y, and z to be crossing the line and I would be hurt". If you have a good relationship and she loves you, she will most likely comply with your reasonable requests in this matter.
Btw I'm running low on funds. If you need a stripper. I don't have the tan muscly Miami look but I'm very dexterous. Failing that I'm also a very good accapella singer, though I suspect that might be a bit boring for a bachelorette party.
Obviously not. I am a guy. But heard thing from girls I know, and seen a few blogs of male strippers which seem legit. My ideas are not coming from those fake porn things which people actually think are real.
BACHELOR party. Ya know, with a bunch of dudes and female strippers. Have you ever attended one?
This is not my first post on the forums, just my first post with this username. (not trolling)
Anyway, one of my GF's best friends is getting married. We have been together for 4 years but still too young to get engaged, I am still in grad school etc.. Anyway she told me of the plans for the party. The maid of honor is getting a hotel suite at one of the nicest hotels in Miami. That is where we live its not a trip to Miami or anything. Out to dinner, going to club, might spend the night there and do breakfast and beacht he next day. But between Dinner and Club there will probably be a stripper. 10-12 girls will be in the party. I don't know any of them very well besides for my GF of course.
Anyway I am fine with the whole thing besides for the private hotel room stripper. I would even be ok with them going to a strip club. I just see that private room, alcohol, and some model type guy taking his clothes off is a bad mixture. (no its not a jealously thing of a good looking guy, me and my gf are lets say pretty above average looks, 6 months in the gym I could be the model too.)
So I told her I don't like it, I will be upset about it etc.. She says a bachelorette having some stripper is a "right of passage" (where did that bs come from?) Anyway she also says all the strippers are gay anyway. Which could not be farther from the truth. I do beleive her when she says a guy dancing in a thong is not exacltly attractive and more funny. She IMO seems very naive about the whole. She really does not think that male strippers come to parties ready to "get with" one of the girls at the party. Male strippers are very hands on, even grab the girls hands and place them in places where in any other situation they would be arrested for sexual assault.
But this is what I have not discussed with her. I honestly feel that a girl in a serious relationship, grouping, touching, taking boday shots off of, having dollar bills out of their bra by the strippers teeth is borderline cheating. And that touching inappropriate areas, dancing with a naked or nearly naked man or being grinded on, especially while wearing a skirt/dress is something that done in any other situation is cheating no questions asked. We don't even need to get into anything further.
No I am not worried that my gf is going to have sex with the stripper or do anything sexual with him. But I don't even feel comfortable with her "slapping him" or touching him or dancing with him as I am sure other girls will be. She is not a "wild" girl and barely drinks so my main question is what is the best way to tell her of my concerns and my opinon and bascially I want to say, "I would really really prefer if you don't touch the guy because if I was touching a girl or dancing with a girl in the ways the girls and stripper wants the girls to touch and dance with him you would not be talking to be anymore."
I also don't what that "what happens at the party stays there BS" She knows the type of person I am and she knows I won't like that weekend. I could tell in the way she was telling me about the plans. I am not and can't tell her not to go but I am just looking for advice in talking to her about it and for me to stop worrying about it.
Thanks for the input.
You should be more afraid of her going to a Miami nightclub. At the club, if your girl is a cute as she you said she is then she will get hit on by countless dudes and mamis.
The male stripper is going to focus on the Lady of Honor, The Bride. Yes, the girls are going to grab, giggle, slap, grind, etc on the stripper. But remember, the stripper for the most part will focus on the BRIDE not your girlfriend. Do you know that the same thing happens during BACHELOR parties??? Also, you could hire a private stripper for a bachelor party without the 300lb bouncer. A lot of strippers do that as a side business.
you better hope that stripper is not a mandingo stripper with a 14 incher.
If you've been with her for 4 years and trust her, just wish her a fun time. Forget about telling her what she can and can't do. It's not your place and you'll just sound like a 14-year-old.
I might consider joining the Duck in performing for them. I'd be the example of what could happen to the groom if the bride feeds him too many Oreos and malted milks.
If you've been with her for 4 years and trust her, just wish her a fun time. Forget about telling her what she can and can't do. It's not your place and you'll just sound like a 14-year-old.
I might consider joining the Duck in performing for them. I'd be the example of what could happen to the groom if the bride feeds him too many Oreos and malted milks.
For some reason this reminded me of the last time I was in Vegas with my Mom. My Dad stays home to take care of the property (plus he hates vegas) so me and various relatives (cousins, aunts, uncles etc.) meet up in Vegas once a year to hang out for a few days. Anyway, last year me and my Mom, sister and various lady relatives went and saw the 'Thunder From Down Under' show. Afterwards they do pictures and I got a really fantastic one with my mom kneeling with the group and if you zoomed in there was some dudes junk right next to her head. Obviously I zoomed in on this and then sent the shot to my Dad.
His response?
"So, does that mean she's not coming home?"
To the OP, be more like my parents (Together sice Jr. High, 30th wedding anniversary April 16th) and less like...you.
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