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Is it because people are too shallow (both men AND women), or is it because with OL-D there are so many options that you simply HAVE to narrow it down? There are so many people online that it makes sense to pick a few things, and let's face it, the easiest thing to do is just pick a few 'shallow' things to dismiss others over. I know most guy dismiss me immediately for my height or weight and that's really not a big deal since I generally dismiss guys for being obese or having crappy jailhouse tattoos.
Yeah, some women will dismiss anyone under 5'9...but if there are 500 guys to choose from and her preference narrows it down to 100, that makes it easier for her. I'm sure she'd be missing out on plenty of great guys, but that's really her loss now isn't it?
You make a good point of having to narrow it down because there are too many to choose from. IRL you don't have that issue. Less choices, however with more choices, it doesn't appear people are having an easier or better time meeting and forming relationships from online than IRL.
It could be shallowness but it's also just narrowing down the choices that are available in the moment too, because as you said, you have to. Back in pioneer days you picked the one you liked, or the least objectionable, from your village, you didn't even think about what was available in villages a hundred miles away.
I've said this before but if SO and I had been online, we would have bypassed each other based on our profiles. I would have listed camping as one of my hobbies, and SO hates camping, so he would have cruised right on by. Not shallow, but just preference. However, in almost 2.5 years, I haven't gone camping, and as much as I liked it, I'm okay if I never do again. Thank goodness camping wasn't one of the first things SO learned about me. I just don't know how anyone has success finding someone by looking at a profile pic and a paragraph about the person, but more power to you if you can do it.
Thanks. For some reason people think because I am older I need to take whatever I can get and it bothers me. I'm of the belief we all need to seek what we want and yes if some are too picky they will pay the price. I've never been obsessed with things like height or income or most looks either.
Men have no business on dating sites. It's is a pro for women but not for men just because of the ratios. The best advantage you have as a man is finding these women in real life. Your charm cannot show through a computer screen neither can you build attraction. Ideally you should just use dating sites as one avenue if you must not your main source. So get out there and flirt with these women in real life, you will be rejected but you will get tangible results rather than just waiting around for a response. We men do the asking.
There is no way to know whether or not online dating has effected anything at all.
Back in the day people held their ***** fests around a bar or living room. Now people's ***** fests are on forums or twitter, and google can easily find it.
You can't compare generations, whether it be dating satisfaction, or whether Barry bonds was better than babe Ruth.
I think a woman goes on there and see this huge list of men and gets a ton of messages. So she gets the perception that there's a ton of available like minded guys and she just has to pick one. But this isn't amazon.com. There may be hundreds of guys but maybe as few as 10% would even be interested in dating you seriously (as opposed to merely being interested in notching their bedposts) and of that maybe only 10% you'd even get along with. But there's so many that they naturally cull them out based on things like height or whether they have a bad picture. So they put that filter on because they don't want to waste any time even though the slightly short dude might be really fun or there's a great guy that just didn't take a very good picture. They never even meet those guys. Those diamonds in the rough are passed over and everyone just cycles through the same small group of guys that look good on paper.
I see couples in real life and there's shorter guys pretty often. And sort of girly looking guys with taller or better looking women. I see all kinds of couples so its not like women won't date anyone shorter than 6'2"...but I think they get on the internet, there's a ton of guys to sort through and they go "Yeah, I'd like him to be 6'2 or taller that narrows it down..." and pretty soon those are the only ones she looks at.
Don't get me wrong, men do the same stuff but their strategy seems stupid in slightly different ways.
I met my wife from a dating site but this was the early days, before ubiquitous digital cameras. I'd say at most half of women even had a single picture and it was usually horrible. And there weren't as many people on the sites in my area. I pretty much just messaged every woman that didn't hint at being obese or having children who had a profile that wasn't full of horrendous grammatical mistakes and misspelled words. That actually left a pretty small list IIRC, and from those I don't remember getting a lot of responses!
The problem is, at least the way I see it is most of the men who have contacted me online are not guys I would even consider offline and it used to make me sad.
It's a meat market for women. Men are every bit as shallow too, so it's not like men are any different.
Wrong, men are not even half as shallow as women.
Majority of men will never say height is a dealbreaker, women will.
Majority of men will never say money/job is a dealbreaker, women will.
Majority of men will never say looks is a dealbreaker, women will.
Majority of men will never say education is a dealbreaker, women will.
We men, only thing that matters is love, women on the other hand read above. In all my life i've never meet a man that has requirement of the woman except love.
Majority of men will never say height is a dealbreaker, women will.
Majority of men will never say money/job is a dealbreaker, women will.
Majority of men will never say looks is a dealbreaker, women will.
Majority of men will never say education is a dealbreaker, women will.
We men, only thing that matters is love, women on the other hand read above. In all my life i've never meet a man that has requirement of the woman except love.
Yeah, love, that's it. Not arm candy, not big boobs, butt, thin, flat stomach, petite, dresses sexy but isn't a golddigger. No, the only requirement all men have is love.
And PS, gotta wonder what banned member has been reincarnated into PhilWhit...
OLD... on line dating... the modern way to date... great volume of people right?... Shallow because of this volume of choices?? I don't believe this question is specific to females really. Still very hard to fine quality and in my experience there doesn't seem to be anything but quantity. What one person is looking for is very different from the other and if the profiles were honest instead of people writing what the other person is wanting to read that might make a HUGE difference too.
I gave up on the OLD... due to the "quantity" I have found that it is the "candy store" for the men (I'm sure women too!) I've tried to meet. Why settle for one piece when you can have a whole lot of variety. Yes it could be that I had just met the wrong person but after so many "meet and greets" posting you are looking for a "relationship" I'm afraid the definition of that word has a brand new meaning too when they read it. Just once it would have been nice to have met someone that wanted to get to know who I really was. I am not saying that physical relationship would not be welcome but I want to really know and like the person first... I don't chose for looks by the way... I find it is hard to trust what I read in the profiles after 2 years of this circus... keep trying right?? maybe in another life.. good luck to those who are still pushing forward
the easiest thing to do is just pick a few 'shallow' things to dismiss others over.
How can a person not be shallow when doing OD? You look at their photo, then move on to a few other characteristics that the site has listed and that's it. How can a person really know someones true heart and character when looking at a photograph and a few pieces of information about a potential BF or GF? Therein lies the shortcomings of the net IMO. It's easier to get to know someones true character by meeting them in a cooking class, going to a meetup, doing volunteer work etc...
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