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I saw this commercial on TV. Women are becoming just as superficial about looks as men.
I think the commercial is silly but I don't feel there's anything bad about a man caring about his appearance. Women take the time to look neat and nice and certainly we remove hair here and there, why shouldn't men?
I'm in favor of men making the effort to stay physically appealing.
Is it because people are too shallow (both men AND women), or is it because with OL-D there are so many options that you simply HAVE to narrow it down? There are so many people online that it makes sense to pick a few things, and let's face it, the easiest thing to do is just pick a few 'shallow' things to dismiss others over. I know most guy dismiss me immediately for my height or weight and that's really not a big deal since I generally dismiss guys for being obese or having crappy jailhouse tattoos.
Yeah, some women will dismiss anyone under 5'9...but if there are 500 guys to choose from and her preference narrows it down to 100, that makes it easier for her. I'm sure she'd be missing out on plenty of great guys, but that's really her loss now isn't it?
it's definitely a cop-out to lump "men and women" together with online dating.
you have HUGE differences in how it works, whether you're young, old, male, female, attractive, or not.
as a general rule, normal-sized women under 30 run the show. they get dozens, perhaps hundreds of messages, and they get to pick and choose which options work. They might not like the idea of meeting a man online, they might be creeped out by a portion of the messages, but overall their pool of options is BETTER online than it is offline.
Some people consider having all these choices to be a "disadvantage" equal to a man's problem of not getting responses, but people who say this are just garden-variety stupid.
To answer the OP's question , yes, online dating has made women more shallow in the sense that it facilitates pickiness. For me it's always the same pattern: It's nearly impossible to convince a woman to go out with you, she's all reluctant, and you might go through 20 or 30 different people before you find someone who will meet you face to face ----- but then as soon as you meet, the tables turn. She can no longer hide her flaws behind a keyboard, and suddenly I'm the one who clearly more attractive and more social. But this is still the best I can get online.
So what you get is women who reject men "in their league", and hold out for the players. It breeds unrealistic expectations.
it's definitely a cop-out to lump "men and women" together with online dating.
you have HUGE differences in how it works, whether you're young, old, male, female, attractive, or not.
as a general rule, normal-sized women under 30 run the show. they get dozens, perhaps hundreds of messages, and they get to pick and choose which options work. They might not like the idea of meeting a man online, they might be creeped out by a portion of the messages, but overall their pool of options is BETTER online than it is offline.
Some people consider having all these choices to be a "disadvantage" equal to a man's problem of not getting responses, but people who say this are just garden-variety stupid.
To answer the OP's question , yes, online dating has made women more shallow in the sense that it facilitates pickiness. For me it's always the same pattern: It's nearly impossible to convince a woman to go out with you, she's all reluctant, and you might go through 20 or 30 different people before you find someone who will meet you face to face ----- but then as soon as you meet, the tables turn. She can no longer hide her flaws behind a keyboard, and suddenly I'm the one who clearly more attractive and more social. But this is still the best I can get online.
So what you get is women who reject men "in their league", and hold out for the players. It breeds unrealistic expectations.
I'm not really familiar with the male side of online dating, but realistically the 'normal sized' women under 30 are the ones that ALL men gravitate towards, and they will ignore every other woman (even the ones their own age or who are more on their level) to get to them. So saying that it's only women being picky is a bit ridiculous. I rarely got messages and I'd say I sent out 10-15 a week and rarely got a response. Obviously there were better options out there than me, just as I'm sure there are better options than you.
I'm not really familiar with the male side of online dating, but realistically the 'normal sized' women under 30 are the ones that ALL men gravitate towards, and they will ignore every other woman (even the ones their own age or who are more on their level) to get to them.
i generally agree, but men will hit on just about anyone.
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So saying that it's only women being picky is a bit ridiculous.
"only women are picky" would be an oversimplification of my point. I don't even agree with that statement.
for me the most obvious issue is the difference between attempting to meet women online vs. offline. The gap in pickiness is too wide to just gloss over. If I had no "offline" frame of reference , maybe I'd feel like the answer was to lower my standards. But I do, so I don't.
I'm not really familiar with the male side of online dating, but realistically the 'normal sized' women under 30 are the ones that ALL men gravitate towards, and they will ignore every other woman (even the ones their own age or who are more on their level) to get to them. So saying that it's only women being picky is a bit ridiculous. I rarely got messages and I'd say I sent out 10-15 a week and rarely got a response. Obviously there were better options out there than me, just as I'm sure there are better options than you.
Thus is life.
Yep. When I started online dating in the mid 90's or so (when it was first starting)up until the early 00's (around 2003 I believe)I got responses from hundreds, maybe thousands of men, men around my age and income to men I would NEVER consider. Now men at my level rarely contact me and the ones who contact are not men for the most part I would consider, like men old enough to be my dad (and often older than him), men who are extremely obese (yes this is shallow but I am active and can't imagine dating a man who is not), or men with multiple baby mamas or marriages. I am glad I am done with online and not sure what I would do if I didn't have other options.
Yep. When I started online dating in the mid 90's or so (when it was first starting)up until the early 00's (around 2003 I believe)I got responses from hundreds, maybe thousands of men, men around my age and income to men I would NEVER consider. Now men at my level rarely contact me and the ones who contact are not men for the most part I would consider, like men old enough to be my dad (and often older than him), men who are extremely obese (yes this is shallow but I am active and can't imagine dating a man who is not), or men with multiple baby mamas or marriages. I am glad I am done with online and not sure what I would do if I didn't have other options.
Most people are married past the age of 30, and are simply off the market.
Yep. When I started online dating in the mid 90's or so (when it was first starting)up until the early 00's (around 2003 I believe)I got responses from hundreds, maybe thousands of men, men around my age and income to men I would NEVER consider. Now men at my level rarely contact me and the ones who contact are not men for the most part I would consider, like men old enough to be my dad (and often older than him), men who are extremely obese (yes this is shallow but I am active and can't imagine dating a man who is not), or men with multiple baby mamas or marriages. I am glad I am done with online and not sure what I would do if I didn't have other options.
I'd say 90% of the messages I received were either lewd/crude in some way (hey, nice boobs or describing in detail what they would do to me sexually) or a generic message they obviously just sent out in mass hoping someone would respond which says they don't take it seriously at all and are probably just looking for hookups.
Most people are married past the age of 30, and are simply off the market.
Depends on the area. I live outside of Chicago and have known people who married more in their 30's than any other decade. I know several who married first time in their 40's and 50's.
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