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I am certainly reserved in the fact that I will be alone forever and I quite enjoy it. I do not see what all the hype is about surrounding significant relationships with others. If I want sex... well there are plenty of respectable women who would like no strings attached sex. If I need someone to talk to... well I can always talk to myself (I seem to have better conversations that way anyway; jk) I can support myself just fine and women, especially in this country, are so overrated its not even funny. Quick parlays are one thing, but long term relationships are not in my agenda. I would rather marry a brick wall then some women here, and I would probably be better off...
There is a related topic that hasn't been fully discussed about "love" and "relationships" and that has to do with idea that we may have been sold by society and the media (movies, TV, music industry, greeting cards, wedding planners, dating websites, etc.) that we need to be in a relationship in order to be happy and fulfilled individuals.
One expression I find most annoying is "my other half" ... or worst still ... "my better half." What's the matter? Aren't you already a whole person??? Huh????
Instead of being resigned to becoming a bitter 'old maid' or lonely 'old bachelor' ... why not recognize that there are some advantages to being single, being free, being independent?
I mean marriage is not a guarantee for happiness.
Now that I've decided to stop looking for love, that I've deleted all my profiles from the dating sites, my friends are joking with me that now love is going find me after I stopped searching. There may be a tiny kernel of truth in that, because in my life I noticed that nothing is more of a turn-off or unattractive than a man or woman who seems "needy" or "desperate" to find a partner.
There is a related topic that hasn't been fully discussed about "love" and "relationships" and that has to do with idea that we may have been sold by society and the media (movies, TV, music industry, greeting cards, wedding planners, dating websites, etc.) that we need to be in a relationship in order to be happy and fulfilled individuals.
One expression I find most annoying is "my other half" ... or worst still ... "my better half." What's the matter? Aren't you already a whole person??? Huh????
Instead of being resigned to becoming a bitter 'old maid' or lonely 'old bachelor' ... why not recognize that there are some advantages to being single, being free, being independent?
I mean marriage is not a guarantee for happiness.
Now that I've decided to stop looking for love, that I've deleted all my profiles from the dating sites, my friends are joking with me that now love is going find me after I stopped searching. There may be a tiny kernel of truth in that, because in my life I noticed that nothing is more of a turn-off or unattractive than a man or woman who seems "needy" or "desperate" to find a partner.
In biology they would say its human nature. I agree with you though.
This thread is making me feel sad. Yes, I've given up on it, whatever, moving forward. I just try to get through life and have some fun while I'm at it. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's easy but I know how some of you feel.
The thing though is, while I accept it for me, it's painful to see that others have been treated so poorly or feel like it will never happen to them. Mightyqueen for example, saying that she will never know what it's like to have that, what it feels like...and you can tell it hurts to recognize that...GOD that makes me sad!
I wish all of you would be brilliantly surprised one day and find someone who adores you. Geez, at least let me live through you vicariously! Damnit!
Ok, I'm sorry, but is that your photo in your profile? Because if it is, I fail to understand how you don't have a line of guys wanting to date you...or maybe there is but they're all toads...sigh.
Bah....sad thread is sad.
Aw, didn't mean to make you sad, TWIS. It was sad to come to that realization, but also somewhat liberating to be able to voice it (or write it down), as Clark Park indicated. There are other things to do, and if I allow myself those moments of sadness, they pass and I can move on to something else.
There is a related topic that hasn't been fully discussed about "love" and "relationships" and that has to do with idea that we may have been sold by society and the media (movies, TV, music industry, greeting cards, wedding planners, dating websites, etc.) that we need to be in a relationship in order to be happy and fulfilled individuals.
Ding-ding-ding! You've hit the nail on the proverbial head!
yeah, i have pretty much accepted that fact. most people, i can only tolerate for a few minutes at a time, nevermind ''til death". i'm sure they feel the same way about me. and i'm okay with that. if my job situation improves, then i will consider a few casual dates here or there, but it is really not a priority. i've never had good luck with anything, so i assume the relationship thing will be the same. too much work. all the good ones are taken, blah blah blah
It's similar for me. If I get a relationship that works out, cool. If not, there are tons of other things I can base my life around.
But there are quite a few people whom I can't tolerate. Then the ones I can tolerate, I often find something that could really mess up the relationship.
Who "gives up" on something they want and need? Didn't you ever teach your children not to give up? No pain, no gain. As hard as you work on restoring your homes, you could equally work just as hard on finding someone for you. If there's a will, there's a way. I'm over 50, divorced a couple of years, started dating someone who is in a similiar situation. He just wants a casual relationship with benefits of course, so I'm ready to move on. I think it's called "Next". I really want to be with someone and I am confident that I will find love. Never give up on anything you want, deserve and need. Emotional intimacy is a basic need for us.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,711 posts, read 41,896,644 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fivestars
Who "gives up" on something they want and need? Didn't you ever teach your children not to give up? No pain, no gain. As hard as you work on restoring your homes, you could equally work just as hard on finding someone for you. If there's a will, there's a way. I'm over 50, divorced a couple of years, started dating someone who is in a similiar situation. He just wants a casual relationship with benefits of course, so I'm ready to move on. I think it's called "Next". I really want to be with someone and I am confident that I will find love. Never give up on anything you want, deserve and need. Emotional intimacy is a basic need for us.
Sorry I don't buy that romantic love is a need. Is it something I want? Yes. However, there is a point I have to ask is it something I'm willing to put in the effort to get? At this point I'm better off concentrating on other things.
Who "gives up" on something they want and need? Didn't you ever teach your children not to give up? No pain, no gain. As hard as you work on restoring your homes, you could equally work just as hard on finding someone for you. If there's a will, there's a way. I'm over 50, divorced a couple of years, started dating someone who is in a similiar situation. He just wants a casual relationship with benefits of course, so I'm ready to move on. I think it's called "Next". I really want to be with someone and I am confident that I will find love. Never give up on anything you want, deserve and need. Emotional intimacy is a basic need for us.
People really need to learn to speak for themselves on this board.
No it is not. No one has ever died from never being in a relationship.
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) I can support myself just fine and women, especially in this country, are so overrated its not even funny. Quick parlays are one thing, but long term relationships are not in my agenda. I would rather marry a brick wall then some women here, and I would probably be better off...
