I don't like dating multiple people but don't see anyway around it (younger, divorced)
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So what if you fell madly in love with a man who was on the fence? Would you wait it out? Would you be okay if he decided he did not want kids?
I really don't know what I'd do. I wouldn't "wait it out" meaning, if I fell madly in love with someone who was on the fence about kids, I would make sure I, myself, was ok with never having children, in case he never changed his mind. I wouldn't wait for him to decide, I would decide within myself and go from there. If that makes any sense.
Look, the whole "race against time" bit in your first post betrays your "data collecting" lie.
You can continue reading selectively or you can open your mind to the possibility that "ur doing it wrong."
That's not the worst possibility in the world. What you've been doing obviously isn't working.
You are telling me how I feel. You're actually INSISTING on how I feel when I'm telling you that I'm not feeling that way. I don't know how else to respond to that except only to say I'm not feeling the way you think I'm feeling regardless of how I may be coming across to you.
It's like, you want me to get in touch with feelings that I know I don't have right now. Since you're insisting one thing, and I don't agree, there's no point in continuing to talk about it. Yes, I'm dismissing it because that's the only thing that makes any sense because we're not going to agree.
I really don't know what I'd do. I wouldn't "wait it out" meaning, if I fell madly in love with someone who was on the fence about kids, I would make sure I, myself, was ok with never having children, in case he never changed his mind. I wouldn't wait for him to decide, I would decide within myself and go from there. If that makes any sense.
The thing I am getting at here is what is more important, your feelings and desire for a relationship or your need to have a child. Not saying you cant have both, but the first takes time to develop. Time you don't have to waste when thinking about having a child at your age with your issues.
I know you have a timeline in your head and I'm sure that timeline includes rushing through the relationship stage to ensure a successful pregnancy.
The thing I am getting at here is what is more important, your feelings and desire for a relationship or your need to have a child. Not saying you cant have both, but the first takes time to develop. Time you don't have to waste when thinking about having a child at your age with your issues.
I know you have a timeline in your head and I'm sure that timeline includes rushing through the relationship stage to ensure a successful pregnancy.
See the issue?
yes, I see the issue. This is why I'm dating multiple people at once, to get the ball rolling. I'm hoping that due to my age we can still take a year to get to know one another but that it won't be "rushing through" the relationship because in your mid-30s, you kinda know what you do and don't want so it's easier to figure things out. But, this is just my best guess.
I wonder if there is forum for people who have been through this issue?
Oh, and thanks to the guy that PMed me and asked if I'd be willing to seriously consider accepting his sperm donation and help with raising a child if we had one together "without a romantic relationship".
yes, I see the issue. This is why I'm dating multiple people at once, to get the ball rolling. I'm hoping that due to my age we can still take a year to get to know one another but that it won't be "rushing through" the relationship because in your mid-30s, you kinda know what you do and don't want so it's easier to figure things out. But, this is just my best guess.
I wonder if there is forum for people who have been through this issue?
What are your previous dating experiences like? What type of LTR's have you been in? Why didn't one of these relationships result in marriage and pregnancy?
May give some insight into the issues you are having.
What are your previous dating experiences like? What type of LTR's have you been in? Why didn't one of these relationships result in marriage and pregnancy?
May give some insight into the issues you are having.
well, I answered this earlier in the thread, but basically when I met the men in my two last relationships (totaling 6 years), I wasn't looking for marriage or children. When I decided I wanted those things, those men were not appropriate for various reasons. It's why I'm so focused now, I don't want to make the mistake of settling down with the wrong person and wasting more time.
well, I answered this earlier in the thread, but basically when I met the men in my two last relationships (totaling 6 years), I wasn't looking for marriage or children. When I decided I wanted those things, those men were not appropriate for various reasons. It's why I'm so focused now, I don't want to make the mistake of settling down with the wrong person and wasting more time.
Why the shift?
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We can agree to disagree. Thanks for your input.
