Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Some on here are extremely bitter about dating. I had some nice ex's and some horrible. One was an absolute doosy.
Even though many like me dated these jerks,realize not everyone is like this.
Is it personality? Upbringing? Environment that continues the bitterness?
I don't think I was bitter so much about dating, when I was having bad luck with it in the past. It was much more like a feeling of complete despair, and feelings of being totaly unlovable, b/c no matter what I tried for years, I just couldn't get women to like me at all, no matter how hard I tried It felt like a crushing and soulbreaking defeat, each and every time I failed, and even when I had taken many and multiple avenues for up to 2+ years to improve myself as much as I could, all to no avail...
Now I'm not like that. I'm not all that myself. They are fantasy men. I'm interested in the average joe. Like me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raptor76
I am defintely frustrated, if not bitter, and the reason being is that I don't know why a connection can develop. I have gone on dates, had a great time, they have had a great time, and then I get the "You're a great guy, but I don't feel a connection, something is missing" So I just don't know what to do. I am fresh out of ideas at the moment, and just trying to enjoy my summer with friends and going back home to spend time with my family. Maybe a little break from trying to find something will give me a chance to re examine myself and see what I am doing wrong
Maybe I am not so much bitter about dating as I am online dating. At least I am getting frustrated with it and am starting to think I wasted my money trying it.
When I meet men offline (you know, just run into them in public) I seem to do okay with men about my age (and sometimes younger or older). But I just realized in the few months I've been online and trying the online thing, all the men contacting me (or responding to me) are older and in most cases much older. The youngest match online was a man who was 5 years older than me. We went out and got upset when he realized he misread my age (he thought I was 14 years younger than him and he didn't even know until the date was almost over. He was happy up until that point anyway). He called me "too old" when he found out I was only 5 years younger than him. I have another man who wants to meet me for a date now and he's 17-years older. I have uncles younger than him! I don't think I can do it.
None of these men really stand out to me. I mean, if they did, I could make an exception (an "in spite of" age). But otherwise all I can think about is that they are just, older men at a different stage of life than me. I don't see what we'd have in common.
To be fair and for the sake of openness, I did fall for a man older than me recently... but like I just said, that was in spite his age, not because of it. And it did give me pause when I started thinking about him romantically. It was something that I had to mentally overcome--and I did because he is such a good and kind man. So it is possible, I don't rule it out. But that was "offline" completely.
It's just kind of frustrating when men my age (online) don't contact me at all (or if they do it's because they misread the number for my age). Like I said offline, I don't experience the same thing. So I have to think it's about the number, not about me.
Last edited by jillabean; 07-09-2013 at 01:26 PM..
Reason: fixed a typo
You mean like, moles or birthmarks or something like that?
Keloid/hypertrophic scarring on my chest stomach and ears/neck, a botched surgery that leaves me looking 4 months pregnant because of muscle issues and I've recently started developing varicose veins on my legs...hooray! I recently had a doctor bring up that I'm developing a 'hunch' back because of issues with my spine and may have to have surgery to fix that too.
Yeah, I'm a physical mess which is why I'm just not into dating anymore. I'm sick of the rejection because there are a million other women out there that don't have my physical issues so why would a guy choose me?
Keloid/hypertrophic scarring on my chest stomach and ears/neck, a botched surgery that leaves me looking 4 months pregnant because of muscle issues and I've recently started developing varicose veins on my legs...hooray! I recently had a doctor bring up that I'm developing a 'hunch' back because of issues with my spine and may have to have surgery to fix that too.
Yeah, I'm a physical mess which is why I'm just not into dating anymore. I'm sick of the rejection because there are a million other women out there that don't have my physical issues so why would a guy choose me?
Maybe I am not so much bitter about dating as I am online dating. At least I am getting frustrated with it and am starting to think I wasted my money trying it.
When I meet men offline (you know, just run into them in public) I seem to do okay with men about my age (and sometimes younger or older). But I just realized in the few months I've been online and trying the online thing, all the men contacting me (or responding to me) are older and in most cases much older. The youngest match online was a man who was 5 years older than me. We went out and got upset when he realized he misread my age (he thought I was 14 years younger than him and he didn't even know until the date was almost over. He was happy up until that point anyway). He called me "too old" when he found out I was only 5 years younger than him. I have another man who wants to meet me for a date now and he's 17-years older. I have uncles younger than him! I don't think I can do it.
None of these men really stand out to me. I mean, if they did, I could make an exception (an "in spite of" age). But otherwise all I can think about is that they are just, older men at a different stage of life than me. I don't see what we'd have in common.
To be fair and for the sake of openness, I did fall for a man older than me recently... but like I just said, that was in spite his age, not because of it. And it did give me pause when I started thinking about him romantically. It was something that I had to mentally overcome--and I did because he is such a good and kind man. So it is possible, I don't rule it out. But that was "offline" completely.
It's just kind of frustrating when men my age (online) don't contact me at all (or if they do it's because they misread the number for my age). Like I said offline, I don't experience the same thing. So I have to think it's about the number, not about me.
I relate to this big time. Offline many men of all ages are interested but online? mostly much older men. Not just that but the older men are definitely different than me, and several are talking retirement and all of that. None of them are older sexy men either, which might make a difference.
So why don't you women folk message men first. You know, so you could meet men your age in your area.
I tried it all the time... well did. After a couple of months I've kind of given up. I only got one who messaged back and he wanted to know how I felt about dating a recovering addict.
I think I just have bad luck to be honest. Like I said, offline, things are much smoother.
Like I said, my subscription ends next month, I might just tear everything down early.
EDIT: I should note, that when I say my age, I mean within 5 years of my age either way. I also contact older men first as well (if they look interesting). They will respond. And I did meet that one guy who was just 5 years older (he contacted me first though). He called me "too old."
I really think it's a phenomena of online dating. Not so much a phenomena of men or dating in general.
Last edited by jillabean; 07-09-2013 at 02:33 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It felt like a crushing and soulbreaking defeat, each and every time I failed, and even when I had taken many and multiple avenues for up to 2+ years to improve myself as much as I could, all to no avail...
