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ah, well relax more as in just get yourself to come down a level. stop worrying/panicking (if thats what you do, i know thats what i do) and just do it. Like Nike's trademark says "Just do it" somethings like casual sex, or other activities do not come naturally to us and we have to become an enabler to get us to adjust to it. (Just make sure you're partner is clean... yeah... dont want to promote you to do something, but get a gift that keeps on giving in return). And if you can't adjust after a while, leave it. Stop trying to do it and say, "i couldn't do it, it's just not for me." But if you don't try to get your body to relax and turn off the switch in your head that causes you to "excite" yourself and psych yourself out of it because of performance, stop and tell your partner you cant.
I will have to try to relax and go for like you said and if it not for me then i would know for sure.
I think part of your problem is that you don't know any women and so you have really weird ideas about what women want in a bf .
I agree with this.
OP, define "loser". It sounds like you're defining yourself as a loser, just because you've only had 1 gf/relationship. That's ridiculous, of course. You really need to get yourself a new posse. Your current friends are brainwashing you to believe really stupid stuff, and you're falling for it.
If you end up throwing away a really good relationship and making yourself miserable with a series of train-wreck attempts to find a FWB, a few ONS, or short-term relationships, don't come crying back to us. If that happens, you'll have to find another forum, because we'll hold this thread up in your face. You're been forewarned.
OP, define "loser". It sounds like you're defining yourself as a loser, just because you've only had 1 gf/relationship. That's ridiculous, of course. You really need to get yourself a new posse. Your current friends are brainwashing you to believe really stupid stuff, and you're falling for it.
If you end up throwing away a really good relationship and making yourself miserable with a series of train-wreck attempts to find a FWB, a few ONS, or short-term relationships, don't come crying back to us. If that happens, you'll have to find another forum, because we'll hold this thread up in your face. You're been forewarned.
I loser to me is a person that has no goals ,no drive to improve your self, just does nothing but play Xbox all day, does not live up to his or her full potential , does have a good job that they love, and just does the bear minimum to get by.also just gave up on life and do not care about anyone but them selfs.
I just fell like i do not have anything to offer a girl . Some day once i get my school done and a real job i will be happy.
I need to break the family trend of workaholics and working two jobs for lame pay and no family life. My dad worked 14-16 hour days 6-7 days a week growing up and I never got to have that father son bonding relationship. Do you know I never played catch with my dad? It is a great feeling to see everyone else’s dad cheer them on when I played sports just one it would have been nice to hear keep going so you can do it .
I just have this picture perfect image of how I want my life to go. I want to have a GF/wife a few kids a dog and live in a nice house on the hill. Also money in the bank and an extra house to rent out to make extra income that we will need to send our kids to college. Do things as a family and be hands on dad and make every game, dance recital or whatever event my kids are involved in. Take my wife out on dates and spend time together seeing that she most likely be my best friend.
Guilt isn't your problem. Fear is. Guilt would be a luxury compared to that.
It is the constant feeling of never being good enough. There are all these things I've ****ed up. If I had only stayed focused, I would have been further along.
I am very hard on myself more then I need to be and I need to stop beating myself up. I am sure it does not help that I obsess on things I've done wrong. Even worse than mistakes I have made.
The desire to feel like i am not a loser drives me. I don't know if that's the healthiest thing—to be motivated by a fear of hating yourself, but it helps.
It is the constant feeling of never being good enough. There are all these things I've ****ed up. If I had only stayed focused, I would have been further along.
I am very hard on myself more then I need to be and I need to stop beating myself up. I am sure it does not help that I obsess on things I've done wrong. Even worse than mistakes I have made.
The desire to feel like i am not a loser drives me. I don't know if that's the healthiest thing—to be motivated by a fear of hating yourself, but it helps.
I haven't read the whole thread, only your original post and this one - dude, you need some professional guidance here. Spend some time getting to the bottom of your self-esteem issues and everything else will fall into place
I haven't read the whole thread, only your original post and this one - dude, you need some professional guidance here. Spend some time getting to the bottom of your self-esteem issues and everything else will fall into place
i am working on seeing a therapist soon i need it .
OP, after a few hook ups, most guys figure out that sex and love aren't necessarily connected, it's only a romantic thought.
focus on getting a nut from the intimacy you experience with a woman. it's biological, evolutionary my friend. get sum. and get muchos if you can. guycode
I came here to help the OP, considering how many pages of people filling his head with garbage there have already been, I probably can't, but what the hell:
OP, do not take certain advice, it's a really bad idea
granted, go to therapy is not bad advice, you sound like you need to unwind, man up and get some self-confidence
"be yourself", "you don't need to change", "women like X"(X being something you are/have and yet you don't get girls with it) are all terrible advice
being yourself leads to more of the same, if you didn't need to change you'd already have and/or be getting whatever you want out of life and if women liked X why don't you have any?
as for feeling better about yourself, all you need to do is think about what's great about you and focus on it meanwhile avoid thinking about your perceived shortcomings any more than it takes to find out what to do about it(if anything)
if you're short don't think about it, if you're muscular and funny, think about that, if you're not very smart don't worry about it, if you're handsome then act like it, etc.
Nature is cruel it won't let us lead a celebate life often
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