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It doesn't matter to me at all (for the reasons you stated) but I realize that some people think friends means FWB and I especially don't want to deal with creepy guys who are expressly looking for bisexual women to have a 3-some with.
Ah...Yeah, I didn't think about that. I guess I naively expect people to be honest about what they're looking for. I mean, if they don't believe you when you say you're just looking for friends, why would they believe you when you say you're heterosexual? Anything you list is really only helpful if people believe you.
Ah...Yeah, I didn't think about that. I guess I naively expect people to be honest about what they're looking for. I mean, if they don't believe you when you say you're just looking for friends, why would they believe you when you say you're heterosexual? Anything you list is really only helpful if people believe you.
I know, right? Fooey on it all. Online stuff is too complicated.
I tried it once... going to a dating site to look for friends (I was looking for scuba diving buddies). The way I was trained, you shouldn't dive solo... you need a buddy. And I was having a hard time finding someone--and yes, I tried a scuba buddy forum first. But basically, I was tired of chancing it booking charters on a boat solo and "hoping" someone would buddy up with me (or another buddy team would let me tag along as a third).
Someone told me to use PoF since they have the option to look for "friends only." I figure, well, if the site has that option for "friends only", why not try it. One weird thing though, the site made me pick something along the lines of heterosexual even with the "looking for friends" option. That should have been a red flag for me. I picked looking for a man since most divers are men--at least where I live. Often I am the only woman on the dive boat. So I figured I'd have a better chance of finding someone if I searched for "male friends."
I quickly learned that friends on PoF isn't thought of as platonic friends. I dropped out of PoF since I wasn't finding scuba buddies, I was finding men who though I was just looking to hook up for a night or something.
In my case, I really was looking for friends (or in this case buddies). No ulterior motive and I wasn't looking for an ego boost either. Just color me naive, lol. I am sure that happens to other women (and men) who are really just looking for friends. I mean, it "is" an option on some sites. I am still looking for a regular dive buddy for what it's worth.
EDIT: For what it's worth (and going back to the original post) in my case, I don't have a husband or boyfriend and didn't at the time I was looking for friends on PoF... so for me, that was a moot point. Just thought I should point that out.
I tried it once... going to a dating site to look for friends (I was looking for scuba diving buddies). The way I was trained, you shouldn't dive solo... you need a buddy. And I was having a hard time finding someone--and yes, I tried a scuba buddy forum first. But basically, I was tired of chancing it booking charters on a boat solo and "hoping" someone would buddy up with me (or another buddy team would let me tag along as a third).
Someone told me to use PoF since they have the option to look for "friends only." I figure, well, if the site has that option for "friends only", why not try it. One weird thing though, the site made me pick something along the lines of heterosexual even with the "looking for friends" option. That should have been a red flag for me. I picked looking for a man since most divers are men--at least where I live. Often I am the only woman on the dive boat. So I figured I'd have a better chance of finding someone if I searched for "male friends."
I quickly learned that friends on PoF isn't thought of as platonic friends. I dropped out of PoF since I wasn't finding scuba buddies, I was finding men who though I was just looking to hook up for a night or something.
In my case, I really was looking for friends (or in this case buddies). No ulterior motive and I wasn't looking for an ego boost either. Just color me naive, lol. I am sure that happens to other women (and men) who are really just looking for friends. I mean, it "is" an option on some sites. I am still looking for a regular dive buddy for what it's worth.
EDIT: For what it's worth (and going back to the original post) in my case, I don't have a husband or boyfriend and didn't at the time I was looking for friends on PoF... so for me, that was a moot point. Just thought I should point that out.
You're one of the few that chose the word friends to mean just that, friends. Online is the easiest way to taste the forbidden fruit and do very little effort to do it. You can see what your options could be without getting out of your relationship. Once you feel that you may have a good catch, you just transition from the bad person to what you perceive to be a better option.
I sent messages to women that were just looking for friends too. The thing is, they are looking for that friend that they do sense some physical attraction with as well. Lets be honest, who hangs with an opposite friend that they deem unattractive? They may not be your type relationship wise, but you would still find them somewhat cute or handsome. No matter what, online is a giant mixing bowl of motives. There's very few people that I think legitimately use it for the reasons it was created. People have a tendency to use it to springboard from a relationship, low self-esteem, or something to laugh about with their friends.
The problem I see, is when this goes on, you're actually devaluing someone. You are saying that this other person is beneath you and your feelings, control, and power over them is worth more than them. That's a very sad realization about life.....
My guess is that they're attention whores who aren't on there specifically to cheat, but will cheat within a few weeks of meeting a new "friend" on there.
This. For the most part. I think some don't even intend to cheat. Women get an INSANE amount attention on dating sites. If she is half way decent looking, she's going to get messaged. A lot. And its an ego boost. If she's not feeling sexy at home, why not get that feeling online. Though, its almost fake as many men employ the message anything that looks good strategy hoping for a bite.
When I did online dating, the profiles of women looking for friends that made me laugh were these:
She's looking for friends, yet she has tons of pictures of herself wearing hardly no clothes. Not sure what kind of friends she looking for putting pictures like that out there.
She's looking for friends, but yet she has a criteria of how he has to look, what kind of job he has to have, he has to drive and not be looking for other women. Don't know what any of these things have to do with being someone's friend.
I am willing to give some of these women the benefit of the doubt, that they are trying to say that they want to be friends first before getting into something serious, it's just the way they put that information out there looks horrible. It isn't hard to just say you want to take things slow before getting into something serious. Saying you are looking for a friend, yet lists things for a boyfriend sends out a confusing message.
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