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Sounds like you thought the 'relationship' was more serious than it was.
I don't see how it was a lie. A romantic interest can still be a friend, especially if it hadn't progressed to romance yet. Like I said, she wasn't that into you if she was still seeing other people. That's the important part.
I agree with what your saying in technological terms it wasn't a serious relationship so thus no responsibility. But i don't think that was the point of what op is saying. What he is saying is a humanistic point of view. There is nothing wrong with placing the welfare of others before your own once in awhile. The world would be a better place for it.
Some people believe that unless you have a ring on the finger you can do whatever you wan't without being concerned about others. But there has to be a line somewhere it can't be about one person.
The question on my mind, and I didn't see if anyone asked yet....
During this time you were non-exclusive with her, were you dating other women? If you were, what did you tell your non-exclusive girl, and the other women?
My guess is that you were less than honest with both. People usually bend the truth to suit their own needs, everything is open to interpretation.
I believe what people are tripping over is i and op (correct me if im wrong ok?) are not saying the girl doesn't have the right to date whoever or even to move in with a guy. What we are saying is its not right to treat people with such disrespect because she wantted to avoid a confrontation or was too selfish. We are saying contact, let a guy know, not ask for permission.
Is it that hard to be considerate of someone elses feelings?
Absolutely. You should assume the other person is dating around until it's exclusive. When I was using OLD I fully assumed the guys I went out with were dating several other people at once and they didn't have to come right out and tell me. It's not deception, but it is stupid if you assume they're only dating you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey
When I started seeing my guy I deleted my account and ceased contact with the other 2 guys I was chatting with because I was only interested in him.
Jet, I may be reading this wrong, but it sounds like you have a double standard for you and the guys you date. It sounds like, if you like a guy you stop even talking to other potentials, but you assume he is dating others.
I also think you are still missing the OP's point. He did not assume anything. She lied to his face.
This is something that happened a while ago. I was casually dating someone. It had just been 1-2 months. She said that she sometimes meets other people online, but they were just dates, not anyone that she ended up being interested in dating again. So she said a friend was coming into town to visit for a week. She was new to the area, so it seemed very believable that a friend from another state would visit. About a month later the friend visited again for a week. So I asked for details, because it would be very unusual for an out of state friend to visit again after a short time. It turned out that it was someone from a dating site, who soon after moved in with her. I think it would be fine if she didn't tell me what was up the first visit, since you never know if you will actually like the person you haven't met yet. But for her to say, that it's a friend visiting the second time is a lie. What do you think?
well, obviously, she wanted to date around. It doesn't matter she lied or not, you need to figure out what exactly do you want from this woman.
You posted that you were "casually" dating someone, so it doesn't seem to ME that you are serious about her. Maybe your feeling for her has changed? Maybe you want a more exclusive one on one relationship with her. If this is the case, tell her.
You cannot change other people's opinion, or way of life. You can only change your reaction to other people's behavior. What is the point of asking internet strangers if she lied or not?
well, obviously, she wanted to date around. It doesn't matter she lied or not, you need to figure out what exactly do you want from this woman.
You posted that you were "casually" dating someone, so it doesn't seem to ME that you are serious about her. Maybe your feeling for her has changed? Maybe you want a more exclusive one on one relationship with her. If this is the case, tell her.
You cannot change other people's opinion, or way of life. You can only change your reaction to other people's behavior. What is the point of asking internet strangers if she lied or not?
The casually dating was the girl op was talking about hon
The question on my mind, and I didn't see if anyone asked yet....
During this time you were non-exclusive with her, were you dating other women? If you were, what did you tell your non-exclusive girl, and the other women?
My guess is that you were less than honest with both. People usually bend the truth to suit their own needs, everything is open to interpretation.
I wasn't dating other women. If I were dating other women, I would talk about it at some point. If it were 1-3 dates, I don't see the point of bringing anything up. But I wouldn't try to make them think that someone I was dating, was really just a friend. The situation I was in was a little different, since the other guy was in another state. For someone to fly and stay for a week 2 times, is more than just getting to know someone.
By not telling op before the friend who wasn't came over that it could get serious is wrong. 1. Your robbing someone of there emotional security by providing a false front that he believed. 2. It takes away his right to decide what good for him in his life.
Is that your point op?
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