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If the OP thinks he's going to be bedding fit women for the rest of his life, then when he takes over the Playboy Mansion as Hefner's successor, I really hope he invites us for a sleep-over...
I don't think the OP is being shallow at all. I think he knows what he wants and doesn't want to waste anyone's time. Given this woman's past, he also understands that he must be kind in letting her go. He is being both respectful and understanding.
Should he not turn her down at all and just continue a relationship with her? Is that sparing her feelings?
People are allowed to like what they like and pursue their interests. Everyone is so willing to tell this person how shallow he is but if you were in a similar position, wouldn't you do the same?
If the OP were a woman, would you all feel the same? What if this woman were complaining about the man's penis size? The double standard here astounds me.
I agree that he shouldn't waste her time.
But I think most people are balking at having a great connection with someone, getting along well, finding her cute as a button, but then easily discarding her because you can't bounce quarters off her abdomen.
He's entitled to his preferences, I just think that a lot of people here think he's crazy to walk away from her over it.
women "want" to have sex for various reasons and they are often not your reasons.
break up for guys means "confess" its all your fault and she is too good for you.
whoever coined the word "male ego" did not comprehend what happens in a divorce court that is the only place u will hear a true opinion of your value to her.
Buddy, women are ten times more picky then anything you describe in your post! They dump men over every single conceivable issue. Height, status, money, small penis, not enough hair, eye color, a crooked tooth,........you name it!
In a sense women mislead and then judge and over react harshly when then truth is revealed. You said she looked great in clothing, makeup etc....Women put on layers of makeup, use pushup bras, wear heals, do unbelievable things to their hair, eyes, skin, etc, etc......all designed to attract men, then reality sets in when they're naked. WHAT DO THEY EXPECT MAN?
This why I date women who are secure with themselves. (funny how they always dish that out at us) and can dress casual, not wear makeup (or so much) wear flat bottom shoes and don't need their boobs pushed up to their throat with a fake bra. Natural looking genuine beauties is where it's at!
Don't feel bad for judging and having a preference!
She is 30, divorced with two kids. I am over 40, single, no kids.
We've only been on three dates but we both became very smitten pretty fast. After the second date she was texting me/contacting me every day.
On the third date there was alchohol involved and SHE asked to come over to my place. I initally said that was not a good idea. But she kept pushing me so I took her to my place. Sex was NOT in my plans as I didn't even have any condoms at home.
She proceeded to kiss me and pretty soon our clothes came off. Suffice it to say we did NOT have sex but she pretty clearly wanted to.
So why do I want to break it off with this otherwise sweet girl? I know this sounds (or is) shallow but I could not get into her once I saw her with her clothes off. Not to brag but I stay in very good shape and I like a hard (or harder) body. I can see that having kids will really take a toll on a woman's body.
Don't get me wrong, this gal looks great in a tight skirt and she is cute as a button. But even she said she'd like to get a tummy tuck if she could afford one.
The tragic part is shortly after our "sleeping" together episode without having sex she said, "I am afraid to get hurt again and after that night when we were naked togethter I thought I am not beautiful. He is going to change his mind about me."
I feel really bad. Of course, we've all been rejected so I've been there too. I just want to do it in a way that is nice and respectful. But also not too obvious.
Thanks for any input.....the fourth date is supposed to be this weekend.
So basically, you are not physically attracted to her. Do you think you can overcome this? If you cannot, break up with her now. She'll survive.
Buddy, women are ten times more picky then anything you describe in your post! They dump men over every single conceivable issue. Height, status, money, small penis, not enough hair, eye color, a crooked tooth,........you name it!
In a sense women mislead and then judge and over react harshly when then truth is revealed. You said she looked great in clothing, makeup etc....Women put on layers of makeup, use pushup bras, wear heals, do unbelievable things to their hair, eyes, skin, etc, etc......all designed to attract men, then reality sets in when they're naked. WHAT DO THEY EXPECT MAN?
This why I date women who are secure with themselves. (funny how they always dish that out at us) and can dress casual, not wear makeup (or so much) wear flat bottom shoes and don't need their boobs pushed up to their throat with a fake bra. Natural looking genuine beauties is where it's at!
Don't feel bad for judging and having a preference!
I so agree. Women can be pretty misleading through make up and clothes and little tricks here and there. It isn't bad that they (we) do that - but if you take it all off and the guy doesn't like what he sees - he shouldn't be blamed for walking off.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,116,375 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soup Sandwich
If the OP thinks he's going to be bedding fit women for the rest of his life, then when he takes over the Playboy Mansion as Hefner's successor, I really hope he invites us for a sleep-over...
If he is fit himself, is there anything wrong with expecting that?
Now, if there is a double standard, that is delusional.
While it sucks to be harshly judged by the majority of the opposite sex for something you have no control over thats how short guys feel but for some reason only mens physical preferences are awful and shallow
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,116,375 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980
While it sucks to be harshly judged by the majority of the opposite sex for something you have no control over thats how short guys feel but for some reason only mens physical preferences are awful and shallow
How is it something they have no control over though? They have complete control.
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