Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't understand why you thought it was ok to blame the situation on her kids. That seems really cruel to me. Why not simply "I'm not attracted to you." Or "I'm not feeling a connection. I tried to get past it but couldn't." Blame her kids? That's cold. You knew she had kids from the very beginning. That excuse makes no sense.
Sent from my SPH-M950 using Tapatalk
Not sure I agree. Just saying, "I am not attracted to you" might be more cruel or hurtful than the kids excuse. I tried to tell her, "I am not ready to be in a serious relationship." but she kept pressing me for a specific reason. So I told her something along the lines of, "I thought I could deal with someone with kids but I was wrong."
If you read the thread that seemed the consenus best excuse (or least hurftul). Again, she seemed to get over it pretty quickly (after the initial night of being upset). We only had three dates.
I am very attracted to you emotionally and physically which has caused me to do some thinking. I am so set in my ways and my single life that I am not ready to change it. Believe me if I was to change my life your are the ideal person to change it with but...but...I am to selfish to do so. I am sorry I so selfish and you deserve more.
You've got standards and you aren't willing to let any of those slide, like a lot of people.
A lot of men would have went ahead and slept with her anyway and then broke up with her that night or that morning.
It's pretty cruel for you to blame this break up because she has children, and she had a reason to get angry at you for that reason you gave, but whatever gets the job done I suppose.
To the OP, I'm not sure who mentioned that blaming the kids would be a good excuse, but you're now starting to hear from those who don't agree. In my mind, blaming the kids is worse than telling her you hated her childbirth tummy. At least the tummy could possibly be something she could change, but the kids are her life.
A lot of men would have went ahead and slept with her anyway and then broke up with her that night or that morning.
Yes, plenty would have. I am NOT one of those guys.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog
It's pretty cruel for you to blame this break up because she has children, and she had a reason to get angry at you for that reason you gave, but whatever gets the job done I suppose.
What would you have told her? Again, I tried to be vague and say there was no connection, etc. But she kept pressing me for a specific reason.
And truth be told, I am NOT 100% certain I want to be with someone long-term who has kids. So my anwser was at least ballpark true.
Yes, plenty would have. I am NOT one of those guys.
What would you have told her? Again, I tried to be vague and say there was no connection, etc. But she kept pressing me for a specific reason.
And truth be told, I am NOT 100% certain I want to be with someone long-term who has kids. So my anwser was at least ballpark true.
You could have said you didn't feel a connection between you and her. Honestly you probably could have said anything that didn't include her kids and she may have taken it better.
And, if you're set on not having any kind of relationship with a woman who has kids, and you're THAT close to screwing a woman who has kids, you're being a giant douchebag.
To the OP, I'm not sure who mentioned that blaming the kids would be a good excuse, but you're now starting to hear from those who don't agree. In my mind, blaming the kids is worse than telling her you hated her childbirth tummy. At least the tummy could possibly be something she could change, but the kids are her life.
Sent from my SPH-M950 using Tapatalk
I hear you. But I think it is hard to say. Each person is different. I have met plenty of women who are more insecure about their figures/bodies than having kids. Hard to read her mind on this and I know her better than you.
If you read the intial post you'll see she had concerns in this area (she felt unattractive naked). The excuse I gave her was designed to be the least bad alternative.
You can all call me an insensitive douche (although I know Jackson you did not) but I did the best I could in this situation. I've been rejected before too so I understand it is never pleasant. But our last conversation was extremely nice with both of us paying each other compliments.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
