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I am in my final semester of college and the truth is I am going to finish college as a virgin. It is something that slowly picks away at your self-esteem and will probably haunt me for the rest of my life but there is little I can do. Now I believe this has to do with me spending my first year at a community college due to my parents wanting me to stay near home for my first year of college so I don't get in trouble. After that 1st year I transferred to my university (an SEC school) and ever since then I had problems fitting in. Seemed like most people got the partying and sex out of the way their freshman year and that was also the time they formed their closest bonds due to living together. I lived off campus the moment I got here and regret most of it.
At first I thought it was my looks but I have been called cute a few times. I was homeschooled so I do lack some of the social skills normal kids had growing up but I have been pretty outgoing in college. The few parties I was invited to I went to. Got along with the guys at the parties but the girls just gave me the disgusted look and tried to avoid me for some reason.
Another thing that could be the case is that I am a Vietnamese heritage male (born in California but raised in Kentucky) that goes to an SEC school. Even though I am 6"2 and have no foreign accent, a few girls have told me I am not their type.
I didn't want it to be this way but seems like so many circumstances were out of my control. Right now I have accepted that I will graduate college as a virgin and this will probably haunt me for the rest of my life. So I want to know, how do I learn to cope with this?
Are you serious about this haunting you for the rest of your life? No question that you will NOT be the only person on the planet that made it through college without sex. The most important thing here is that you are on track to graduate and that's the main goal you went to college in the first place. There is no reason to let something like no sex bother you, you are still young and have plenty time to catch up on that. Don't make this more than what it is, you will be fine. Also, no one is going to know that about you unless you go around telling people about it. This insignificant matter in my opinion should not define you . congrats in advance on making it through college.
I am in my final semester of college and the truth is I am going to finish college as a virgin. It is something that slowly picks away at your self-esteem and will probably haunt me for the rest of my life but there is little I can do. Now I believe this has to do with me spending my first year at a community college due to my parents wanting me to stay near home for my first year of college so I don't get in trouble. After that 1st year I transferred to my university (an SEC school) and ever since then I had problems fitting in. Seemed like most people got the partying and sex out of the way their freshman year and that was also the time they formed their closest bonds due to living together. I lived off campus the moment I got here and regret most of it.
At first I thought it was my looks but I have been called cute a few times. I was homeschooled so I do lack some of the social skills normal kids had growing up but I have been pretty outgoing in college. The few parties I was invited to I went to. Got along with the guys at the parties but the girls just gave me the disgusted look and tried to avoid me for some reason.
Another thing that could be the case is that I am a Vietnamese heritage male (born in California but raised in Kentucky) that goes to an SEC school. Even though I am 6"2 and have no foreign accent, a few girls have told me I am not their type.
I didn't want it to be this way but seems like so many circumstances were out of my control. Right now I have accepted that I will graduate college as a virgin and this will probably haunt me for the rest of my life. So I want to know, how do I learn to cope with this?
Don't listen to most of these people posting.
Most of them are white men and white women who can't offer you any sound advice.
Asian men are devalued in the dating game in America, unless they are wealthy or have a huge social network.
Travel man, in France and Asia, you'd get chicks like a rock star.
You're finishing college, it's by far a much more important achievement than losing your virginity. The degree will help you secure your futire, losing your virginity won't pay the bills.
We're in a new economy right now, degrees don't guaranteed you anything anymore.
Street smarts will help you get ahead more than book smarts these days.
Location: NYC based - Used to Live in Philly - Transplant from Miami
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Getting laid is the last thing you should worry at the moment. It is just...sex...
Do you have any jobs lined up? That is your major concern.
Also, you are about to graduate college, that is an accomplisment by itself!
I am asian myself. I kind of understand that some asian male feels that they are the least desirable men out there; but you have to show them who you are and what you are capable of. Work out! Be social!
Granted that I am gay, I never had any difficulties getting dates (with men) in college. And I am talking about dating not sleeping around, which I oppose.
I was very shy. Due to the same circumstances that you had but then I started getting to know people, hang out alot and work out. I even got some chicks (who did not know) to like me BASED ON MY PERSONALITY. So there you go.
Last but not least: not being stereotypical, people in kentucky might be a little bit stereotypical (HA!) So maybe they are not open about dating guys out of their comfort zone. Maybe try to find a job in big cities; NYC, LA, Miami, SF, Chicago!
Location: NYC based - Used to Live in Philly - Transplant from Miami
2,307 posts, read 2,771,947 times
Reputation: 2610
Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Jack22
We're in a new economy right now, degrees don't guaranteed you anything anymore.
Street smarts will help you get ahead more than book smarts these days.
On the contrary, I think guys with college degree will advance in their career more than those without degree, ie, street smarts ones. Unless of course you are talking about blue collar jobs.
I am involved in recruiting process of fresh new candidates in my company. I would not hire somebody who is "street smart" to design and test the prototype, as well as develop the consumer products our company offer. Unless of course, we do not care about people's safety and are immune to litigation.
Most of them are white men and white women who can't offer you any sound advice.
Asian men are devalued in the dating game in America, unless they are wealthy or have a huge social network.
Travel man, in France and Asia, you'd get chicks like a rock star.
That's not necessary the case in him getting chicks like a rock star in france or asia. so lets not give him false hope and he takes off to one of these places and it doesn't happen for him. He will really feel all hope is lost if he takes off to paris looking for sex and it just don't play out like that for him. This is a big diverse country and I think he can find it right here without searching the globe for sex, that would be a pretty expensive piece when all is said and done. California, his birth place have many diverse asain-communities IF that's what he is looking for. I have no doubt that the op can find it here, he may need to look beyond his current state of Kentucky but I really believe he can. If you don't have the right social skills or cant communicate then it wont matter where you are. So, op don't you go running off just yet, hold your libido until you graduate.
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