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Why is it bad for American women, though? If some guy wants to go to a developing nation to exploit a younger woman who is willing to trade her youth and looks for money and security, that's not the kind of man I would consider a viable prospect. She can have him.
Not the kind of woman I’d want, either; he can have her. That said, I think the majority of us (men and women) would agree they deserve each other (and neither is worth considering). Hence the reason it’s a bit absurd to suggest (not you) we would/could/should attempt to increase our wealth/success relative to women rather than for the purpose of a challenging career and comfortable/enjoyable/cushy lifestyle in and of itself. The latter doesn’t have anything to do with healthy dating/relationships.
In fact, I’m stunned (and a bit amused) by how much emphasis is being placed on money, particularly relative to this thread. Most would consider ‘trying to be more attractive to women’ as meaning physical appearance i.e. fitness, hygiene, dressing well and so on rather than basing our career goals/education (or life) on such.
What I find amusing is the inability to realize that developing oneself in terms of education and career might not only benefit you personally but could also impact your dating prospects - to think otherwise seems a bit naive. Are quality dating prospects likely to be attracted to someone who is a homeless high school dropout? And imagine if you work on your personality and emotional IQ - the benefits you reap personally as well as in your interactions with others!
Similarly, do people only "work" on their appearance for the benefit of others to behold them (e.g. through dating) or might looking as good as you can (clean, tidy, fresh breath, and beyond) make your own disposition a bit sunnier and turn into a bit of positive pride for yourself? Most anything we do to benefit ourselves can have a positive impact on our interactions with friends, families, and potential dates and vice versa.
Of course historically women have more often been socialized to do things for others or with others in mind to improve their prospects...men being more often socialized to rely only on themselves and not to seek status through women (other than possibly benefitting superficially by bagging some arm candy). Think of women in the 1940s and 1950s going to college for their "MRS. degree" while men were getting educated so they could make more money. But don't take me too literally...it didn't (and doesn't) work that way for everyone.
What I find amusing is the inability to realize that developing oneself in terms of education and career might not only benefit you personally but could also impact your dating prospects - to think otherwise seems a bit naive.
Sure it may impact it initially (as looks do as well), but that’s far different than suggesting a certain career (or money in and of itself) should be pursued as a way of making oneself more attractive to women, per the thread - particularly when a woman who is only looking for such isn’t worth attracting anyway, as per fleetiebelle’s post (and my response). By doing so, you’re completely negating the (obvious) point of pursuing an education/career relative to one’s own interests and abilities i.e. being yourself (and finding your own happiness, first and foremost).
What I find amusing is the inability to realize that developing oneself in terms of education and career might not only benefit you personally but could also impact your dating prospects - to think otherwise seems a bit naive. Are quality dating prospects likely to be attracted to someone who is a homeless high school dropout? And imagine if you work on your personality and emotional IQ - the benefits you reap personally as well as in your interactions with others!
Similarly, do people only "work" on their appearance for the benefit of others to behold them (e.g. through dating) or might looking as good as you can (clean, tidy, fresh breath, and beyond) make your own disposition a bit sunnier and turn into a bit of positive pride for yourself? Most anything we do to benefit ourselves can have a positive impact on our interactions with friends, families, and potential dates and vice versa.
Of course historically women have more often been socialized to do things for others or with others in mind to improve their prospects...men being more often socialized to rely only on themselves and not to seek status through women (other than possibly benefitting superficially by bagging some arm candy). Think of women in the 1940s and 1950s going to college for their "MRS. degree" while men were getting educated so they could make more money. But don't take me too literally...it didn't (and doesn't) work that way for everyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy
Sure it may impact it initially (as looks do as well), but that’s far different than suggesting a certain career (or money in and of itself) should be pursued as a way of making oneself more attractive to women, per the thread - particularly when a woman who is only looking for such isn’t worth attracting anyway, as per fleetiebelle’s post (and my response). By doing so, you’re completely negating the (obvious) point of pursuing an education/career relative to one’s own interests and abilities i.e. being yourself (and finding your own happiness, first and foremost).
Uhmmm, no - I think I was pretty clear about doing things to benefit yourself that (perhaps more than incidentally) also make you more attractive to others but you may have missed that while jumping in to argue. I don't think I said anything at all about pursuing a profession you don't like just to get a mate (well, not since the '40s/'50s!).
"how much of your life is based around trying to be more attractive to women?" -- Dang. If only I had thought to waste my time on such things instead of squandering it with fine women. What will I do now? :cry:
Not the kind of woman I’d want, either; he can have her. That said, I think the majority of us (men and women) would agree they deserve each other (and neither is worth considering). Hence the reason it’s a bit absurd to suggest (not you) we would/could/should attempt to increase our wealth/success relative to women rather than for the purpose of a challenging career and comfortable/enjoyable/cushy lifestyle in and of itself. The latter doesn’t have anything to do with healthy dating/relationships.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
What I find amusing is the inability to realize that developing oneself in terms of education and career might not only benefit you personally but could also impact your dating prospects - to think otherwise seems a bit naive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
Think of women in the 1940s and 1950s going to college for their "MRS. degree" while men were getting educated so they could make more money. But don't take me too literally...it didn't (and doesn't) work that way for everyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
I don't think I said anything at all about pursuing a profession you don't like just to get a mate (well, not since the '40s/'50s!).
Many are speaking to money/‘security’ in this thread (including you i.e. ‘MRS degrees’) - all (antiquated) nonsense, from my perspective. Point being, the ONLY logical reason to develop oneself in terms of education/career is relative to one’s own benefit/happiness/personal satisfaction. In fact, having a significant amount of money/wealth can actually have a negative impact on dating in a sense; the same can be said relative to extraordinary beauty/attractiveness as well (in terms of making it more difficult to find a sincere/real connection).
However, you appear to be suggesting it’s ‘normal’ or ‘healthy’ to consider the impact one’s specific career/college choice (or money) has on dating prior to embarking on a career (or that said impact is always positive, for that matter). Else, why would you bring it up in a thread asking MEN what WE DO to make ourselves more attractive to women?
I'm honest. I do it all for the ladies. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't bother leaving the house. What's the point. No women? What a horrible dystopian world. No motivation to do anything. I'm just being honest.
Many are speaking to money/‘security’ in this thread (including you i.e. ‘MRS degrees’) - all (antiquated) nonsense, from my perspective. Point being, the ONLY logical reason to develop oneself in terms of education/career is relative to one’s own benefit/happiness/personal satisfaction. In fact, having a significant amount of money/wealth can actually have a negative impact on dating in a sense; the same can be said relative to extraordinary beauty/attractiveness as well (in terms of making it more difficult to find a sincere/real connection).
However, you appear to be suggesting it’s ‘normal’ or ‘healthy’ to consider the impact one’s specific career/college choice (or money) has on dating prior to embarking on a career (or that said impact is always positive, for that matter). Else, why would you bring it up in a thread asking MEN what WE DO to make ourselves more attractive to women?
Time and time again you miscomprehend (perhaps intentionally) and give the most extreme interpretation to what others say and then talk about how absurd it is. Is that how all lawyers are? Because you are completely inaccurate - I'm not on a jury - I'm not buying your interpretation of my own words. I don't "appear to be suggesting" anything like that and took great pains to carefully explain and give a moderate response. I myself pointed out that MRS degrees were mid-last century and I used the example of no one wanting to be a homeless H.S. dropout. It would do you well to give your OWN response more and to stop misinterpreting others' responses.
It would do you well to give your OWN response more and to stop misinterpreting others' responses.
Back at you; you consistently respond to posts in a personal way rather than simply answer specific questions relative to the thread - or at least speak to your viewpoint (as opposed to my personal life/my career) re: a thread which asks MEN what WE do to attract women.
In other words, at least I gave a relevant (and psychologically healthy) response. How do you attract women i.e. why are you in this thread?
Haven't read the thread yet. I have always done things to be attractive for myself first. If someone else likes it, that can be ok, undesirable, surprising in a good way/ flattering but in general pleasing oneself should make the most sense. I assume that is actually how people operate. The real liberation is not caring about outside opinions, just your own standards.
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